"You pity the fool because you don't want to beat up a fool. You know,
pity is between sorry and mercy. See, if you pity him, you know, you
won't have to beat him up. So that's why I say fools, you gotta give
another chance because they don't know no better. That's why I pity
them." -Mr.
T (b. Lawrence Tureaud is 69 today.)
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Reality Checks:
YouTube
termintated the "Truth About Vaccines" channel. The
channel had about 75,000 subscribers but some of its videos had a much
broader reach, including one that had over 1.5 million views and
featured Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., a prominent voice in the anti-vaccine
movement.
When
your company is named Covid, you've heard all the jokes. "You know,
we get a lot of customers who always want to come up with our new
taglines ... 'Covid, we had it first.' Or 'The only thing that's
contagious is our quality.' We get all kinds of jokes from people. And a
lot of people call and they talk to us and they just, 'can you believe
that?' And you just smile a little bit and say, 'yeah,' and you just
tell some of the stories that's happened because of it. But, yeah, it's
OK."
The
myth of labor shortages. One of the few ways to have a true labor
shortage in a capitalist economy is for workers to be demanding wages so
high that businesses cannot stay afloat while paying those wages. But
there is a lot of evidence to suggest that the U.S. economy does not
suffer from that problem. If anything, wages today are historically low.
They have been growing slowly for decades for every income group other
than the affluent. As a share of gross domestic product, worker
compensation is lower than at any point in the second half of the 20th
century. Two main causes are corporate consolidation and shrinking labor
unions, which together have given employers more workplace power and
employees less of it.
Alaskan
volcano may erupt... Due to low-level volcanic ash emissions and the
detection of explosion signals, scientists at the USGS Alaska Volcano
Observatory (AVO) have upgraded the color code and alert level at the
Semisopochnoi volcano. Semisopochnoi is the easternmost land location in
the United States and North America, located just 9.7 miles west of the
180th Meridian in Alaska. (It's eastern because it extends beyond the
International Date Line.)
Colonial Pipeline paid
hackers $4.4 million to restore its computer systems. In the old
days before the Internet, companies who needed to network computers did
so by obtaining dedicated leased lines from the telephone company. While
expensive, it makes hacking from outside sources far more difficult,
since breaking into a system requires actual physical access to the
circuit connecting the sites or to a system directly connected to the
private network. Also, systems providing essential services should be
isolated from the public Internet. (I guess some executives never saw
the reboot of Battlestar Galactica. Also, cybercrime
is now a major industry- with its own trading markets and even CSR.
-----
Senators
expected to announce deal on US Postal Service reform. It would
eliminate the absurd law that required the postal service to pre-pay $5
billion a year in mandatory retiree health care benefits, and require
future retirees to enroll in Medicare.
Supreme Court debacle: On this date in 1896, the United States Supreme
Court ruled in Plessy
v. Ferguson that the "separate
but equal" doctrine was constitutional.
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On this date in 1933 as part of the New
Deal, President Franklin
D. Roosevelt signed the act creating the Tennessee
Valley Authority, a federally owned corporation created by
congressional charter to provide navigation, flood control, electricity
generation, fertilizer manufacturing, and economic development to the
Tennessee Valley, a region particularly affected by the Great Depression.
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On this day 70 years ago, St. Louis Cardinals third baseman Tommy
Glavianomade
errors on three consecutive grounders in the bottom of the ninth,
allowing the Brooklyn Dodgers a 9-8 victory. At least he could tell
himself it wasn't, you know, something people would remember two decades
into the next century or anything
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On this day in 1962, A birthday salute to U.S. President John F. Kennedy
took place at Madison Square Garden, New York City. The highlight was
Marilyn Monroe's rendition of "Happy Birthday." (Video)
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Tina Fey
is 50 today. Click here
for quotes by Tina Fey.
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On this date in 1980, Mount
St. Helens in Washington state erupted, directly killing 57 people
and releasing thermal energy equivalent to 26 megatons of TNT, over
1,700 times larger than the bomb dropped on Hiroshima, Japan in 1945. (Video)
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Ever listen to Trump ramble and wonder what he was asked about in the
first place? Now it's a game you can play at home! From The Daily
Show.(Video)
Inside
Trump's coronavirus meltdown. Again and again, the story that
emerged is of a president who ignored increasingly urgent intelligence
warnings from January, dismisses anyone who claims to know more than him
and trusts no one outside a tiny coterie, led by his daughter Ivanka and
her husband, Jared Kushner- the property developer who Trump has
empowered to sideline the best-funded disaster response bureaucracy in
the world. "It is as though we knew for a fact that 9/11 was going to
happen for months, did nothing to prepare for it and then shrugged a few
days later and said, 'Oh well, there's not much we can do about it,'"
says Gregg Gonsalves, a public health scholar at Yale University. "Trump
could have prevented mass deaths and he didn't."
As
cable TV fades, fearing 'the end of Comedy Central.' The network
that made the careers of Dave Chappelle, Stephen Colbert and Amy Schumer
has laid off top executives while looking to make shows that are cheaper
to produce.
-----
Space
Force launches robotic X-37B space plane on new mystery mission.
While the X-37B's exact purpose is a secret, Space Force officials have
revealed that the craft is packing numerous experiments on this trip to
test out different systems in space. Some of those experiments include a
small satellite called FalconSat-8, two NASA payloads designed to study
the effects of radiation on different materials as well as seeds to grow
food, and a power-beaming experiment using microwave energy. (story
includes video)
-----
ViacomCBS, which owns Paramount and the Star Trek® franchise, should sue
Trump for using the phrase "warp speed" for the vaccination projects and
the delta shield emblem as the core of its Space Force logo. Not for
intellectual property violations, but for damaging the value of its
brand via association with a malignant miscreant.
Meteor caught on doorbell camera. A Summerville, SC family caught a
meteor entering Earth's atmosphere on their doorbell video camera early
Thursday morning. The video, provided by the Giltner family, was taken
around 12:42 a.m. (video)
Here's
what a solar minimum is and why NASA says it's nothing to worry about.
Some say the current cycle could be a repeat of the Dalton Minimum,
which was one of the most extreme weather periods in history. The Dalton
minimum was a period that lasted over three solar cycles from 1790-1830
and resulted in heavy snows, deep frost and general cooling around the
globe. NASA scientists say there's no mini ice age on the horizon,
because planetary warming due to climate change will offset the cycle.
There. Feel better?
Among the rich you will never find a really generous man even by
accident. They may give their money away, but they will never give
themselves away; they are egotistic, secretive, dry as old bones. To be
smart enough to get all that money you must be dull enough to want it. -G.K.
Chesterton
The written word will soon disappear and we'll no longer be able to read
good prose like we used to could. This prospect does not gentle my
thoughts or tranquil me toward the future. -James Thurber
There are few things in life harder to find and more important to keep
than love. Well, love and a birth certificate. -Barack Obama
We can usually recognize the consequence of our actions. It is the
consequence of our inaction that gets confused with the inevitable. -Robert
Brault
The more you know, the sadder you get. -Stephen Colbert
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I'm a sucker for rescue dogs to begin with, but this sweetheart tore my
heart out. Thank goodness she found a loving home with a great mom
dedicated to caring for special needs dogs. (Video)
Things are really rough out there. Please consider donating to Feeding
America .
Remembering L.
Frank Baum (May 15, 1856 - May 6, 1919), an American author chiefly
known for his children's books, particularly The Wonderful Wizard of
Oz. Click here
for quotes by L. Frank Baum.
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Madeleine
Albright, former U.S. ambassador to the United Nations and the first
female United States Secretary of State in history, is 83 today. Click here
for quotes by Madeleine Albright.
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Remembering Clifton
Fadiman (May 15, 1904 – June 20, 1999), an erudite essayist and
editor whose affable wit delighted millions during his long reign as
moderator of the popular "Information Please" radio quiz show and even
longer tenure as senior editor of the Book of the Month Club. Click here
for quotes by Clifton Fadiman.
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On this day in 1928, the Walt
Disney character Mickey
Mouse premiered in his first cartoon, a silent film called "Plane
Crazy", in a test screening before a theater audience. Sound
was added, and the film was later released as the fourth Mickey Mouse
cartoon, after Steamboat Willie, The Gallopin' Caucho, and The
Barn Dance. (Video)
The sound-added version of Plane Crazy, released a year later in
1929.
-----
Whistleblower Rick Bright's damning testimony on Trump's COVID-19
failures: A Closer Look (Video)
-----
Use your
computer's idle time to fight disease. Folding@home (FAH or F@h) is
a distributed computing project for simulating protein dynamics,
including the process of protein folding and the movements of proteins
implicated in a variety of diseases. It brings together citizen
scientists who volunteer to run simulations of protein dynamics on their
personal computers. Insights from this data are helping scientists to
better understand biology, and providing new opportunities for
developing therapeutics.
Delta
Air to retire all of its 777
jets and replace them with Airbus SE aircraft in another hit for the
beleaguered U.S. plane maker. Delta will continue flying its fleet of
long-haul, next-generation Airbus
A350-900s, which burn 21% less fuel per seat than the 777s they will
replace, the airline said.
Is
the Big Bang in crisis? Stubborn problems with dark matter, dark
energy, and cosmic expansion have some astronomers rethinking what we
know about the early universe.
-----
Hong
Kong shop offers 'tear gas' flavor ice cream. The main ingredient is
black peppercorns, a reminder of the pungent, peppery rounds fired by
police on the streets of the semi-autonomous Chinese city during months
of demonstrations last year. "We would like to make a flavor that
reminds people that they still have to persist in the protest movement
and don't lose their passion," he said.
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Stopped
cold: 'Frozen' musical on Broadway not to reopen. Citing the "global
pandemic," Thomas Schumacher, president and producer of Disney
Theatrical Productions, said Thursday that running three Disney shows on
Broadway was "untenable.""
"Fact: Sea otters hold hands when they sleep." Uh, you're going to have to
do better than that. From 2003, some happy facts of my own:
100% TRUE (and insipid)
1. At least two people in this world love you so much they would die for
you. No, wait a minute. Technically, your ferrets aren't really
"people".
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way. But be
advised that two of those ways are felonies in most states.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be
just like you. ...and they lack that interesting muscular
aberration that helps you while away those lonely hours.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't
like you. And you thought forgetting to wear your dentures was a
mistake.
5. Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep. Something
along the lines of "I can't believe someone hasn't murdered that little
bastard yet."
6. You mean the world to someone. Someone with a vocabulary of one
word, that word being "world"
7. If not for you, someone may not be living. But since you
skipped town before the paternity hearing, you'll never know.
8. You are special and unique. Just like everyone else.
9. Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you. Thanks to
your ex, who posted that "special" picture of you on the Really Hot
Amateurs porn site.
10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it. Like
discovering you really aren't cut out to be an air traffic controller.
11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take another
look, you most likely turned your back on the world. And the world
is just waiting for you to bend over.
12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you
probably won't get it. But if you believe in yourself, sooner or later,
you may get exactly what you want. Especially if what you want is
arthritis, hair loss, erectile dysfunction and declining cognitive
capabilities.
13. Always remember the compliments you receive; forget about the rude
remarks. No need to remember the rude remarks. You hear them
incessantly, you being you and all.
14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you'll feel much better
when they know. Just be certain there are no witnesses.
15. If you have a great friend, take time to let them know that they are
great. And buy them a gift. Their Blow-Up Betty could use a patch
kit.
Today is Mark Zuckerberg's birthday. I don't care, I just wanted to give
away some of his personal information. -Seth Meyers
The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base
ten counting system and likes round numbers. -Scott Adams
I've never been quarantined, but the more I look around, the more I
think it might not be a bad idea. -George Carlin
So let me get this straight... Captain Clorox thinks schools are safe
enough for your kids but jail is too dangerous for Paul Manafort. (from
Facebook)
"Obamagate"- A nonsensical word you create when your cult stops buying
your lies about Covid-19, and you desperately need to change the
narrative. (from Facebook)
Not sure Trump is thinking through the implications of normalizing
extensive investigations into former presidents. -@matthewamiller
Donald Trump was never going to get along with anyone called "Dr.
Bright."" -@middleageriot
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Well, there's our problem:
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Just aesthetics? You're overlooking all that great foreign protein:
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There are worse ways you can go...
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Things are really rough out there. Please consider donating to Feeding
America.
Forward our URL to a friend. They can subscribe here.
-----
Before commencing the usual daily festivities:
Senseless censorship:
For the past few months, Facebook's "community standards" scanner has
been periodically stopping my KGB Report newsfeed on the social network
and, most recently, prohibiting me from posting anything at all,
including to my personal account. This was particularly irritating,
since I couldn't respond to comments or even use Facebook Messenger. My
guess is they've grown sensitive to criticisms about some of the
conspiracy, white supremacy and other nut job postings, so they've
turned their post-scanning censor software up to 11. For example, if you
post a meme that contains a photo of a swastika, the words "hoax", "5G",
or some other conspiracy/coronavirus-type reference, you'll get
suspended for "activities... that don't comply with Facebook policies."
This posting in February got me kicked off for a week. Facebook labeled
it "Hate Speech":
I still don't know who was being hated upon: the men or the dog. I had
posted it a year earlier without incident. I guess Facebook is getting
touchier as it gets older.
The current offense in question was shared from another page which,
incidentally, is still up and running. This image is also all over
Twitter as well:
Just a few hours after the expiration of my latest suspension, this
appeared on my page last night:
I have no idea what I did to deserve this. It doesn't reference a
specific post, so I have no way of knowing what "didn't comply with
Facebook policies." Does Andy Borowitz or The Onion have
this problem?
See the box that says "Disagree With Decision"? It used to be that you
could appeal and a human would review it, and generally you'd get an
"oops" and the post would be restored. But now you get the message:
So the strike remains on your record, and there's no way to remove it.
And then you get this, should you happen to stumble across the "Page
Quality" tab, which is hidden under a "More" button on the
administration page:
As A.J. Liebling wrote in The New Yorker in 1960, "Freedom of the
press is guaranteed only to those who own one." With the Internet,
everyone owns a personal electronic printing press. The trick is getting
people to read it. On Facebook, KGB Report has over 10,000
followers. The KGB Report blog has -ahem- somewhat less.
If you read and enjoy the blog, spread the word. If you're receiving the
email version, forward it to a friend or five. If you're reading it on
the website, please copy our url (https://www.kgbreport.com) and pass it
along.
Maybe this is what got me the boot. Do not taunt The Zuck, I guess:
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Today is Wednesday, May 13, the 134th day of the year in the Gregorian
calendar. 232 days remain until the end of the year.
Listen
to the audio- Supreme Court oral argument: President Trump's financial
records. Justice Elena Kagan told Trump lawyer Jay Sekulow a
"fundamental precept of our constitutional order is that the president
is not above the law." Chief Justice John Roberts asked Trump lawyer
Patrick Strawbridge: "Do you concede any power in the House to subpoena
personal papers of the president?" The Trump attorney said it was
“difficult to imagine” a situation in which that would be justified.
However, in 1974 the justices acted unanimously in requiring President
Nixon to turn over White House tapes to the Watergate special
prosecutor. And in 1997, another unanimous decision allowed a sexual
harassment lawsuit to proceed against President Clinton. In those cases,
three Nixon appointees and two Clinton appointees, respectively, voted
against the president who chose them. Ginsburg and Breyer were those
Clinton appointees. The New York Times story is here.
Related: I've
seen Trump's tax returns and you should, too: "If all of this
information from Trump's taxes, bankers and accountants was good enough
for me over a decade ago, it's certainly good enough for Congress and
the Manhattan district attorney today."
The
filmed performance of the blockbuster Broadway musical "Hamilton"
is coming to Disney+ a year earlier than anticipated, just in time for
Fourth of July festivities. Disney paid $75 million for the worldwide
rights in February and had set a theatrical release date of fall 2021.
But with the pandemic shuttering so many cinemas and theaters worldwide,
Disney is clearly betting on its hugely successful streaming service
(which just surpassed 50 million subscribers) to recoup its investment.
There is a road from the eye to the heart that does not go through the
intellect. -G.K. Chesterton
Some call the adage "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and
expecting different results" a cliché. Others call it practice. -Variously
attributed
I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body.
Then I realized who was telling me this. -Emo Philips
There is no happiness for people at the expense of other people. -Anwar
Sadat
I am truly horrified by modern man. Such absence of feeling, such
narrowness of outlook, such lack of passion and information, such
feebleness of thought. -Alexander Herzen
Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race. P.J.
O'Rourke-
The smartest thing ever said on the Internet: "Laws are just stories we
tell poor people." -Variously attributed
Scripture tells us that in our sufferings, there is glory, because we
know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and
character, hope. Sometimes the truths of these words are hard to see.
Right now, those words test us because the people of Dallas, people
across the country are suffering.
We're here to honor the memory and mourn the loss of five fellow
Americans, to grieve with their loved ones, to support this community,
and pray for the wounded, and to try and find some meaning amidst our
sorrow.
For the men and women who protect and serve the people of Dallas, last
Thursday began like any other day. Like most Americans, each day you get
up, probably have too quick a breakfast, kiss your family goodbye, and
you head to work.
But your work and the work of police officers across the country is like
no other. For the moment you put on that uniform, you have answered a
call that at any moment, even in the briefest interaction, may put your
life in harm's way.
Lorne Ahrens, he answered that call. So did his wife, Katrina, not only
because she was the spouse of a police officer, but because she's a
detective on the force. They have two kids. Lorne took them fishing. And
he used to proudly go to their school in uniform.
On the night before he died, he bought dinner for a homeless man. And
the next night, Katrina had to tell their children that their dad was
gone. "They don't get it yet," their grandma said. "They don't know what
to do quite yet."
Michael Krol answered that call. His mother said, he knew the dangers of
the job, but he never shied away from his duty. He came 1,000 miles from
his home state of Michigan to be a cop in Dallas, telling his family,
this is something I wanted to do.
And last year, he brought his girlfriend back to Detroit for
Thanksgiving. And it was the last time he'd see his family.
Michael Smith answered that call. In the Army, and over almost 30 years
working for the Dallas Police Association, which gave him the
appropriately named Cop's Cop Award. A man of deep faith; when he was
off duty, he could be found at church or playing softball with his two
girls.
Today, his girls have lost their dad, for God has called Michael home.
Patrick Zamarippa, he answered that call. Just 32, a former altar boy
who served in the Navy and dreamed of being a cop. He liked to post
videos of himself and his kids on social media. On Thursday night, while
Patrick went to work, his partner, Christy, posted a photo of her and
their daughter at a Texas Rangers game, and tagged the department so
that he could see it while on duty.
Brent Thompson answered that call. He served his country as a Marine.
And years later, as a contractor, he spent time in some of the most
dangerous parts of Iraq and Afghanistan. And then a few years ago, he
settled down here in Dallas for a new life of service as a transit cop.
And just about two weeks ago, he married a fellow officer, their whole
life together waiting before them.
Like police officers across the country, these men and their families
shared a commitment to something larger than themselves. They weren't
looking for their names to be up in lights. They'd tell you the pay was
decent, but wouldn't make you rich. They could have told you about the
stress and long shifts. And they'd probably agree with Chief Brown when
he said that cops don't expect to hear the words "thank you" very often,
especially from those who need them the most.
No. The reward comes in knowing that our entire way of life in America
depends on the rule of law, that the maintenance of that law is a hard
and daily labor, that in this country we don't have soldiers in the
streets or militias setting the rules.
Instead, we have public servants, police officers, like the men who were
taken away from us. And that's what these five were doing last Thursday
when they were assigned to protect and keep orderly a peaceful protest
in response to the killing of Alton Sterling of Baton Rouge and Philando
Castile of Minnesota.
They were upholding the constitutional rights of this country.
For a while, the protests went on without incident. And despite the fact
that police conduct was the subject of the protest, despite the fact
that there must have been signs or slogans or chants with which they
profoundly disagreed, these men and this department did their jobs like
the professionals that they were.
In fact, the police had been part of the protest planning. Dallas P.D.
even posted photos on their Twitter feeds of their own officers standing
among the protesters. Two officer, black and white, smiled next to a man
with a sign that read "no justice, no peace."
And then around nine o'clock, the gunfire came. Another community torn
apart; more hearts broken; more questions about what caused and what
might prevent another such tragedy.
I know that Americans are struggling right now with what we've witnessed
over the past week. First, the shootings in Minnesota and Baton Rouge,
the protests. Then the targeting of police by the shooter here, an act
not just of demented violence, but of racial hatred.
All of it has left us wounded and angry and hurt. This is- the deepest
faultlines of our democracy have suddenly been exposed, perhaps even
widened. And although we know that such divisions are not new, though
they've surely been worse in even the recent past, that offers us little
comfort.
Faced with this violence, we wonder if the divides of race in America
can ever be bridged. We wonder if an African American community that
feels unfairly targeted by police and police departments that feel
unfairly maligned for doing their jobs, can ever understand each other's
experience.
We turn on the TV or surf the internet, and we can watch positions
harden and lines drawn and people retreat to their respective corners,
and politicians calculate how to grab attention or avoid the fallout. We
see all this, and it's hard not to think sometimes that the center won't
hold and that things might get worse.
I understand. I understand how Americans are feeling. But Dallas, I'm
here to say we must reject such despair. I'm here to insist that we are
not as divided as we seem. And I know that because I know America. I
know how far we've come against impossible odds.
I know we'll make because of what I've experienced in my own life; what
I've seen of this country and its people, their goodness and decency, as
president of the United States. And I know it because of what we've seen
here in Dallas, how all of you out of great suffering have shown us the
meaning of perseverance and character and hope.
When the bullets started flying, the men and women of the Dallas police,
they did not flinch and they did not react recklessly. They showed
incredible restraint. Helped in some cases by protesters, they evacuated
the injured, isolated the shooter, saved more lives than we will ever
know.
We mourn fewer people today because of your brave actions.
"Everyone was helping each other," one witness said. And it wasn't about
black or white. Everyone was picking each other up and moving them away.
See, that's the America I know. The police helped Shetamia Taylor as she
was shot trying to shield her four sons. She said she wanted her boys to
join her to protest the incidents of black men being killed.
She also said to the Dallas P.D., thank you for being heroes. And today,
her 12-year-old son wants to be a cop when he grows up. That's the
America I know.
In the aftermath of the shooting, we've seen Mayor Rawlings and Chief
Brown, a white man and a black man with different backgrounds, working
not just to restore order and support a shaken city, a shaken
department, but working together to unify a city with strength and grace
and wisdom.
And in the process, we've been reminded that the Dallas Police
Department has been at the forefront of improving relations between
police and the community.
The murder rate here has fallen. Complaints of excessive force have been
cut by 64 percent. The Dallas Police Department has been doing it the
right way.
And so, Mayor Rawlings and Chief Brown, on behalf of the American
people, thank you for your steady leadership. Thank you for your
powerful example. We could not be prouder of you.
These men, this department, this is the America I know. And today in
this audience, I see people who have protested on behalf of criminal
justice reform grieving alongside police officers. I see people who
mourn for the five officers we lost, but also weep for the families of
Alton Sterling and Philando Castile. In this audience, I see what's
possible.
I see what's possible when we recognize that we are one American family,
all deserving of equal treatment. All deserving equal respect. All
children of God. That's the America I know.
Now, I'm not naive. I have spoken at too many memorials during the
course of this presidency. I've hugged too many families who have lost a
loved one to senseless violence. And I've seen how a spirit of unity,
born of tragedy, can gradually dissipate, overtaken by the return to
business as usual, by inertia and old habits and expediency.
I see how easily we slip back into our old notions, because they're
comfortable, we're used to them. I've seen how inadequate words can be
in bringing about lasting change. I've seen how inadequate my own words
have been. And so, I'm reminded of a passage in John's Gospel, "let us
love, not with words or speech, but with actions and in truth."
If we're to sustain the unity, we need to get through these difficult
times. If we are to honor these five outstanding officers who we lost,
then we will need to act on the truths that we know. That's not easy. It
makes us uncomfortable, but we're going to have to be honest with each
other and ourselves.
We know that the overwhelming majority of police officers do an
incredibly hard and dangerous job fairly and professional. They are
deserving of our respect and not our scorn
When anyone, no matter how good their intentions may be, paints all
police as biased, or bigoted, we undermine those officers that we depend
on for our safety. And as for those who use rhetoric suggesting harm to
police, even if they don't act on it themselves, well, they not only
make the jobs of police officers even more dangerous, but they do a
disservice to the very cause of justice that they claim to promote.
We also know that centuries of racial discrimination, of slavery, and
subjugation, and Jim Crow; they didn't simply vanish with the law
against segregation. They didn't necessarily stop when a Dr. King
speech, or when the civil rights act or voting rights act were signed.
Race relations have improved dramatically in my lifetime. Those who deny
it are dishonoring the struggles that helped us achieve that progress.
But we know.
But America, we know that bias remains. We know it, whether you are
black, or white, or Hispanic, or Asian, or native American, or of Middle
Eastern descent, we have all seen this bigotry in our own lives at some
point. We've heard it at times in our own homes. If we're honest,
perhaps we've heard prejudice in our own heads and felt it in our own
hearts. We know that. And while some suffer far more under racism's
burden, some feel to a far greater extent discrimination's stain.
Although most of us do our best to guard against it and teach our
children better, none of us is entirely innocent. No institution is
entirely immune, and that includes our police departments. We know this.
And so when African-Americans from all walks of life, from different
communities across the country, voice a growing despair over what they
perceive to be unequal treatment, when study after study shows that
whites and people of color experience the criminal justice system
differently. So that if you're black, you're more likely to be pulled
over or searched or arrested; more likely to get longer sentences; more
likely to get the death penalty for the same crime. When mothers and
fathers raised their kids right, and have the talk about how to respond
if stopped by a police officer- yes, sir; no, sir- but still fear that
something terrible may happen when their child walks out the door; still
fear that kids being stupid and not quite doing things right might end
in tragedy.
When all this takes place, more than 50 years after the passage of the
Civil Rights Act, we cannot simply turn away and dismiss those in
peaceful protest as troublemakers or paranoid.
We can't simply dismiss it as a symptom of political correctness or
reverse racism. To have your experience denied like that, dismissed by
those in authority, dismissed perhaps even by your white friends and
coworkers and fellow church members, again and again and again, it
hurts. Surely we can see that, all of us.
We also know what Chief Brown has said is true, that so much of the
tensions between police departments and minority communities that they
serve is because we ask the police to do too much and we ask too little
of ourselves.
As a society, we choose to under-invest in decent schools. We allow
poverty to fester so that entire neighborhoods offer no prospect for
gainful employment. We refuse to fund drug treatment and mental health
programs.
We flood communities with so many guns that it is easier for a
teenager to buy a Glock than get his hands on a computer or even a book.
And then we tell the police, "You're a social worker; you're the
parent; you're the teacher; you're the drug counselor." We tell them to
keep those neighborhoods in check at all costs and do so without causing
any political blowback or inconvenience; don't make a mistake that might
disturb our own peace of mind. And then we feign surprise when
periodically the tensions boil over.
We know those things to be true. They've been true for a long time. We
know it. Police, you know it. Protesters, you know it. You know how
dangerous some of the communities where these police officers serve are.
And you pretend as if there's no context. These things we know to be
true. And if we cannot even talk about these things, if we cannot talk
honestly and openly, not just in the comfort of our own circles, but
with those who look different than us or bring a different perspective,
then we will never break this dangerous cycle.
In the end, it's not about finding policies that work. It's about
forging consensus and fighting cynicism and finding the will to make
change.
Can we do this? Can we find the character, as Americans, to open our
hearts to each other? Can we see in each other a common humanity and a
shared dignity, and recognize how our different experiences have shaped
us? And it doesn't make anybody perfectly good or perfectly bad, it just
makes us human.
I don't know. I confess that sometimes I, too, experience doubt. I've
been to too many of these things. I've seen too many families go through
this.
But then I am reminded of what the Lord tells Ezekiel. "I will give you
a new heart," the Lord says, "and put a new spirit in you. I will remove
from you your heart of stone, and give you a heart of flesh."
That's what we must pray for, each of us. A new heart. Not a heart of
stone, but a heart open to the fears and hopes and challenges of our
fellow citizens.
That's what we've seen in Dallas these past few days, and that's what we
must sustain. Because with an open heart, we can learn to stand in each
other's shoes and look at the world through each other's eyes. So that
maybe the police officer sees his own son in that teenager with a
hoodie, who's kind of goofing off but not dangerous.
And the teenager- maybe the teenager will see in the police officer the
same words, and values and authority of his parents.
With an open heart, we can abandon the overheated rhetoric and the
oversimplification that reduces whole categories of our fellow
Americans, not just opponents, but to enemies.
With an open heart, those protesting for change will guard against
reckless language going forward. Look at the model set by the five
officers we mourn today. Acknowledge the progress brought about by the
sincere efforts of police departments like this one in Dallas. And
embark on the hard, but necessary work of negotiation, the pursuit of
reconciliation. With an open heart, police departments will acknowledge
that just like the rest of us, they're not perfect. That insisting we do
better to root out racial bias is not an attack on cops, but an effort
to live up to our highest ideals.
And I understand these protests- I see them. They can be messy.
Sometimes they can be hijacked by an irresponsible few. Police can get
hurt.
Protesters can get hurt. They can be frustrated. But even those who
dislike the phrase "black lives matter," surely, we should be able to
hear the pain of Alton Sterling's family.
We should- when we hear a friend describe him by saying that, whatever
he cooked, he cooked enough for everybody, that should sound familiar to
us, that maybe he wasn't so different than us. So that we can, yes,
insist that his life matters.
Just as we should hear the students and co-workers describe their
affection for Philando Castile as a gentle soul. Mr. Rogers with
deadlocks, they called him. And know that his life mattered to a whole
lot of people of all races, of all ages, and that we have to do what we
can without putting officers' lives at risk, but do better to prevent
another life like his from being lost.
With an open heart, we can worry less about which side has been wronged,
and worry more about joining sides to do right
Because the vicious killer of these police officers- they won't be the
last person who tries to make us turn on one another. The killer in
Orlando wasn't nor was the killer in Charleston. We know there is evil
in this world, that's why we need police department departments.
But as Americans, we can decide that people like this killer will
ultimately fail. They will not drive us apart. We can decide to come
together and make our country reflect the good inside us, the hopes and
simple dreams we share.
We also glory in our suffers because we know that suffering produces
perseverance, perseverance character, and character hope. For all of us,
life presents challenges and suffering. Accidents, illnesses, the loss
of loved ones; there are times when we are overwhelmed by sudden
calamity, natural or man-made. All of us, we make mistakes, and at times
we are lost.
And as we get older, we learn we don't always have control of things,
not even a president does. But we do have control over how we respond to
the world. We do have control or how we treat one another.
America does not ask us to be perfect, precisely because of our
individual imperfections, our founders gave us institutions to guard
against tyranny and ensure no one is above the law. A democracy that
gives us the space to work through our differences and debate them
peacefully, to make things better, even if it doesn't always happen as
fast as we'd like. America gives us the capacity to change.
But as the men we mourn today, these five heroes knew better than most,
we cannot take the blessings of this nation for granted. Only by working
together can we preserve those institutions of family and community,
rights and responsibilities, law and self-government that is the
hallmark of this nation.
It turns out we do not persevere along. Our character is not found in
isolation. Hope does not arise by putting our fellow man down, it is
found by lifting others up.
And that's what I take away from the lives of these outstanding men. The
pain we feel may not soon pass, but my faith tells me that they did not
die in vain. I believe our sorrow can make us a better country. I
believe our righteous anger can be transformed into more justice and
more peace. Weeping may endure for a night but I'm convinced joy comes
in the morning.
We cannot match the sacrifices made by Officers Zamarippa and Ahrens,
Krol, Smith and Thompson, but surely we can try to match their sense of
service. We cannot match their courage, but we can strive to match their
devotion.
May God bless their memory. May God bless this country that we love.
...we are permanently the United States of Amnesia. We learn nothing
because we remember nothing. -Gore Vidal
For those of you who say it's impossible for Bernie Sanders to be
elected President, here's an excerpted article from the Wednesday,
November 4 issue of the Daily Kos entitled Why
Obama will never, ever be elected president. Click on the link for
the full article.
In honor of the anniversary of Barack Obama's election, this diary
presents quotes from various pundits and commentators who confidently
predicted Obama's defeat in the presidential race. I've listed them in
chronological order, starting in late 2006 and ending just before
Election Day in '08.
Oct. 27, 2006: "[Obama] should run in '08. He will lose in '08.
And the loss will put him irrevocably on a path to the presidency." For
him to win in '08 would require a "miracle." -- Charles Krauthammer
Dec. 17, 2006: "Barack Obama is not going to beat Hillary Clinton
in a single Democratic primary. I'll predict that right now." -- William
Kristol
Dec. 22, 2006: "Obama's shot at the top will be short lived....
Hillary Inc. will grind up and spit out any Democratic challenger that
gets in its way." -- Joe Scarborough
Mar. 19, 2007: "The right knows Obama is unelectable except
perhaps against Attila the Hun." -- Mark Penn
Sep. 24, 2007: "Sen. Obama cannot possibly believe, and doesn't
even act as if he believes, that he can be elected president of the
United States next year." -- Christopher Hitchens
Dec. 24, 2007: "A Bound Man: Why We Are Excited About Obama and
Why He Can't Win." -- title of book by Shelby Steele
Jan. 26, 2008: "The 'could we beat Obama?' conversation is purely
academic. It's over. The Clintons have defeated him already, because he
is leaving South Carolina as 'the black candidate.' He won't win another
state." -- Michael Graham, National Review
May 7, 2008: "[Obama] has shown he cannot get the votes Democrats
need to win -- blue-collar, working class people. He can get effete
snobs, he can get wealthy academics, he can get the young, and he can
get the black vote, but Democrats do not win with that.... He will lose
big." -- Rush Limbaugh
June 3, 2008: "Obama can't possibly be elected." -- Dick Morris
Aug. 4, 2008: "The Molten Core of Barack: Why Obama Can't Win."
-- Alex Castellanos
Aug. 11, 2008: "As I wrote last December, '[t]he pundits can talk
until they are blue in the face about Obama's charisma and eloquence and
cross-racial appeal. The fact of the matter is that Obama has no chance
of being elected president in 2008.' I am more convinced of this
conclusion than ever." -- Steven M. Warshawsky, The American Thinker
Aug. 15, 2008: "Most people think Sen. Obama has this election in
the bag, but in reality he stands very little chance of reaching the
presidency because of the simple fact that he is far too liberal for
America." -- Russ Duenow, Fredericksburg.com
Aug. 31, 2008: "Mr. Obama is doomed to defeat.... Mr. McCain will
win - and win big - in November." -- Jeffrey Kuhner, The Washington Times
Sep. 22, 2008: "John McCain will win the presidential election,
Kellyanne Conway, one of the country's most respected Republican
pollsters, tells Newsmax." -- Ronald Kessler
Oct. 9, 2008: "I have received numerous emails from Republicans
and Democrats alike, asking whether I still think Obama will lose the
election. Yes, I do. But what about the polls, they ask? The polls show
that Obama is winning. No, they don't, as I will explain." -- Steven M.
Warshawsky
Oct. 25, 2008: "[T]here are real signs pointing to a McCain
victory this year, whether or not the mainstream media wants to
acknowledge them." -- Steven M. Warshawsky
Oct. 28, 2008: "The Seven Reasons McCain-Palin Are a Lock to
Win." -- Dan Perrin
Nov. 2, 2008: Obama will win the popular vote but lose the
election -- Fred Barnes
Nov. 3, 2008: "I think John McCain will win a squeaker over
Barack Obama." -- Ed Morrissey
Nov. 3, 2008: "Throw out the polls. All of them.... The fact is
that no pollster truly knows what is going on this election cycle,
because this election is unlike any other in the nation's recent
history.... The final Electoral Vote tally will be 275-263 for McCain."
-- Mark Impomeni, Politics Daily
Nov. 3, 2008: "The media could be the real mid-wife of the
November 4th victory by Senator McCain and Governor Palin." -- Dan Perrin
What's amazing is not that Obama won, but that these predictions from
the enlightened pundit caste are not remembered.
Bernie can win this. Hell, Trump can win this. Ignore the pundits
and pollsters. Do your own research and vote for the person you want.
History can’t be a sword to justify injustice or a shield against progress. It must be a manual for how to avoid repeating the mistakes of the past,
how to break the cycle, a roadway toward a better world. -Barack Obama
Barack Hussein Obama II, born August 4, 1961, is the 44th and current
President of the United States, the first African American to hold the
office. Born in Honolulu, Hawaii, Obama is a graduate of Columbia
University and Harvard Law School, where he was president of the Harvard
Law Review. He was a community organizer in Chicago before earning his
law degree. He worked as a civil rights attorney in Chicago and taught
constitutional law at the University of Chicago Law school from 1992 to
2004. (Click
for full Wikipedia article.)
-----
Americans... still believe in an America where anything's possible- they
just don't think their leaders do.
Cutting the deficit by gutting our investments in innovation and
education is like lightening an overloaded airplane by removing its
engine. It may make you feel like you're flying high at first, but it
won't take long before you feel the impact.
Even when folks are hitting you over the head, you can't stop marching.
Even when they're turning the hoses on you, you can't stop.
I miss being anonymous.
I miss Saturday morning, rolling out of bed, not shaving, getting into
my car with my girls, driving to the supermarket, squeezing the fruit,
getting my car washed, taking walks.
If we aren't willing to pay a price for our values, if we aren't willing
to make some sacrifices in order to realize them, then we should ask
ourselves whether we truly believe in them at all.
In my first term, we passed health care reform. In my second term, I
guess I'll pass it again.
It may make your blood boil and your mind may not be changed, but the
practice of listening to opposing views is essential for effective
citizenship. It is essential for our democracy.
Look, when I was a kid, I inhaled frequently. That was the point.
Many of you know that I got my name, Barack, from my father. What you
may not know is Barack is actually Swahili for "That One." And I got my
middle name from somebody who obviously didn't think I'd ever run for
president.
Money is not the only answer, but it makes a difference.
My job is not to represent Washington to you, but to represent you to
Washington.
My parents shared not only an improbable love, they shared an abiding
faith in the possibilities of this nation. They would give me an African
name, Barack, or blessed, believing that in a tolerant America your name
is no barrier to success.
The elevation of appearance over substance, of celebrity over character,
of short term gains over lasting achievement displays a poverty of
ambition. It distracts you from what's truly important.
The fact that my 15 minutes of fame has extended a little longer than 15
minutes is somewhat surprising to me and completely baffling to my wife.
There a few things in life harder to find and more important to keep
than love. Well, love and a birth certificate.
There's not an action that I take that you don't have some folks in
Congress who say that I'm usurping my authority. Some of those folks
think I usurp my authority by having the gall to win the presidency.
We live in a culture that discourages empathy. A culture that too often
tells us our principal goal in life is to be rich, thin, young, famous,
safe, and entertained.
We need to internalize this idea of excellence. Not many folks spend a
lot of time trying to be excellent.
We've got a story to tell that isn't just against something but is for
something.
What Washington needs is adult supervision.
When our government is spoken of as some menacing, threatening, foreign
entity, it ignores the fact that in our democracy, government is us.
You can question somebody's views and their judgment without questioning
their motives or patriotism.
President Obama's one-liners from the 2013 Gridiron dinner:
Now I know that some folks think we responded to Woodward too
aggressively. But hey, when has- can anybody tell me when an
administration has ever regretted picking a fight with Bob Woodward?
What's the worst that could happen?
Of course, maintaining credibility in this cynical atmosphere is harder
than ever- incredibly challenging. My administration recently put out a
photo of me skeet shooting and even that wasn't enough for some people.
Next week, we're releasing a photo of me clinging to religion.
And in the words of one of my favorite Star Trek characters- Captain
James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise- "May the force be with you."
KGB Report welcomes you to 2013: May this arbitrary, transient point in
your solipsistic sense of the space-time continuum delineate the
initiation of a series of random events which trend in a manner which
you perceive to be favorable.
Published Saturday, November 17, 2012 @ 2:19 AM EST
Nov172012
I think America might just have spent all day obsessing over loss of
Twinkies. This is why we're not getting a greatest generation book. -@pourmecoffee
What if the Mayan calendar ends in 5105, and we've just been holding it
upside down? -Aaron Karo
Hostess will sell the rights to all their snack cakes, and Twinkies will
once again pour off the production line of a different company. I
wouldn't be surprised if several years' worth of Twinkies aren't already
stockpiled in a warehouse somewhere. I mean, It's not like they're going
to go stale or anything...
A blonde walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre.
So he gives it to her.
This new thesaurus isn't just terrible, it's also terrible. -Justin
Shanes
Viagra can cause sight loss. So, you can go blind either way.
(YouTube video: The Big Bang Theory Flash Mob!)
James Bond beat Abraham Lincoln at the box office. Boy, it's really been
a lousy week for Republicans, hasn't it? –David Letterman
No hurry- take all the time you have. -The Covert Comic
Isn't the Twinkie too big to fail? Where's the bailout, Obama? -The
Beachwood Reporter
If you were born in or after April 1985, you have never experienced a
colder than average month. If you've lived in Pittsburgh during that
period, you've experienced the highest and lowest temperatures on record
as well as the greatest 24-hour rain and snowfall totals. So if grandma
or grandpa start to tell you how bad the weather was when they
were growing up, tell them to stick a sock in it.
It's also interesting to note that in April 1985 Coca-Cola changed its
formula and released New Coke.
Published Thursday, November 08, 2012 @ 3:00 AM EST
Nov082012
That famous quote by Mythbuster Adam Savage is, simply, the reason why
the Republicans were handed their lunch on Tuesday.
Here are two essays which address the issue in a sane, rational manner.
The videos that follow, from last night's Daily Show, are a bit
more... bombastic.
-----
Ohio really did go to President Obama last night, and he really did win.
And really was born in Hawaii. And he really is legitimately President
of the United States. Again. And the Bureau of Labor Statistics did not
make up a fake unemployment rate last month. And the Congressional
Research Service really can find no evidence that cutting taxes on rich
people grows the economy. And the polls were not skewed to over sample
Democrats. And Nate Silver was not making fake projections about the
election to make conservatives feel bad. Nate Silver was doing math. And
climate change is real. And rape really does cause pregnancy sometimes.
And evolution is a thing. And Benghazi was an attack on us. It
was not a scandal by us. And nobody is taking away anyone's guns.
And taxes have not gone up. And the deficit is dropping, actually. And
Saddam Hussein did not have Weapons of Mass Destruction. And the moon
landing was real, and FEMA is not building concentration camps. And UN
election observers are not taking over Texas. And moderate reforms of
the regulations on the insurance industry and the financial services
industry in the country are not the same things as Communism.
Listen. Last night was a good night for Democrats and liberals for very
obvious reasons. But it was also possibly a good night for this country
as a whole. Because in this country we have a two party system in
government. And the idea is supposed to be that the two sides both come
up with ways to confront and fix the real problems facing this country.
They both propose possible solutions to our real problems. And we debate
between those possible solutions. And by the process of debate, we pick
the best idea. That competition between good ideas from both sides about
real problems in the real country should result in our country having
better choices, better options, than if only one side is really working
on the hard stuff. And if the Republican party and the conservative
movement and the conservative media are stuck in a vacuum-sealed
door-locked spin cycle of telling each other what makes them feel good,
and denying the factual lived truth of the world, then we are all
deprived as a nation of the constructive debate between competing
feasible ideas about real problems.
Last night the Republicans got shellacked. And they had no idea it was
coming. And we saw them in real time, in real humiliating time, not
believe it as it was happening to them. And unless they are going to
secede, they are going to have to pop the factual bubble they've been so
happy living inside... if they do not want to get shellacked again. And
that will be a painful process for them, I'm sure, but it will be good
for the whole country, left, right and center. You guys, we're counting
on you. Wake up. There are real problems in the world. There are real
knowable facts in the world. Let's accept those and talk about how we
might approach our problems differently. Let's move on from there. If
the Republican party and the conservative media are forced to do that by
the humiliation they were dealt last night, we'll all be better off as a
nation.
If You're Surprised By The Election Results, You're The Reason You Lost,
Or: A Plea for Useful Republicans.
Dear Republicans:
I know the despair you feel this morning, and sympathize, because I've
been there. In 2004 my stiff, robotic millionaire lost to a
President he should have soundly thumped, and I was so hurt I
took a week off from the Internet afterwards. I am completely
sympathetic with that slow terror that the country is now in the hands
of an incompetent, and the voters don't even know it.
But I noticed a weird difference between the way Republicans and
Democrats reacted to a losing candidate. In 2004, when the polls turned
against Kerry and it was obvious he was going to lose, the Democrats
asked "How can we fix that?" Oh, they asked in their glum, incompetent
way, but when I personally talked to other Democrats both in real life
and online, we were all pretty cognizant of the fact that Kerry was the
underdog.
The Republicans of 2012, however, became increasingly convinced that Romney was going to win.
Everywhere I looked on Twitter and Facebook, I saw my Republican
friends- not straw men, but actual people- talking about how
terrible Nate Silver's methods were, how these Rasmussen polls showed
Romney's real strength, and eventually you got the travesty of UnSkewedPolls.com,
which cherry-picked the data and even today has their prediction of not
just a Romney win but a landslide, Romney 311 to Obama 227. (Actual
result: Obama 332, Romney 206.)
It all crystallized for me when my friend Brad Torgerson said, "Liberals
and Democrats have Nate Silver and his 538 blog. Conservatives and
Republicans have the U of CO guys. It's an epic cage match of predictive
numbers geekery!"
Look there. Right at that post- one not too dissimilar from a thousand
other dismissals of Nate Silver and the other aggregated polls. See what
Brad did there? The way the guy bringing you news he didn't like was
automatically assigned a partisan bias, and the only rational solution
was to get a guy on your side with better numbers? As if
reality was merely a function of getting enough guys on your side?
That's why you lost.
Stop confusing hard reality for partisan opposition.
It's time to step out of the bubble, dear Republicans, because we
fucking need you. I don't trust the Democratic party to run the
country single-handedly. I want a Republican party I can rely on for
real solutions- and you've become lazy, voodoo-like, dismissing any data
you don't like as partisan opposition.
Jay Lake is fond of saying, "Reality has a liberal bias." That's not
because reality inevitably verifies liberal thinking, but because the
Republican response to anything that challenges them is now to write off
the data.
And let me repeat: we need you. I want a counterweight to Democratic
power, not a deadweight that refuses to acknowledge the issues. I want a
Republican party that will look at the numbers for climate change and
not go, "I don't like what those scientists are saying, so I'll call it
a silly liberal bias!" but say, "We're business experts, we know how to
motivate rich people to do what we want, how do we fix this?" I want a
Republican party that will realize while yes, we're spending far too
much and should cut down, the results of thirty years of
trickle-down theory and tax cuts won't actually provide enough revenue,
because we are at the lowest effective tax rates we've had in thirty
years.
And yes, you can argue all my statements here. But in that, smart
person, you're like a driver with an SUV in Alaska. A person with a car
in Alaska is going to get stuck in the snow eventually; that's a fact.
But if you have an SUV, you're gonna get stuck way the heck out in the
woods where no one can get at you, because you have the strength to do
it and won't stop when common sense tells you to. I had a ton of Very
Smart friends dissecting all the reasons why Nate Silver was wrong, why
his methodology sucked, why these pollsters who said what they liked
over here had better ways of slicing the data- and all that flurry of
so-called "facts" amounted to was an elaborate justification of personal
biases that had no basis in reality.
It's time to stop fighting the obvious. It's time to stop assuming that
anyone who presents contradictory data is out to get you.
You should have won, guys. You had a President with an economy in the
doldrums, a guy who'd lost a lot of his electoral mojo in the realities
of politics. But instead of rising from the grave, you chose a candidate
who never actually gave us firm numbers on what expenses he'd cut to fix
the economy. You chose a candidate who said he'd get rid of Obamacare,
but never actually named the parts he'd destroy. You chose someone who,
though all politicians lie, lied a lot more than almost any
modern Presidential candidate.
You had a guy who should have sliced Obama to ribbons- and he lost, in
large part, because he said, "Trust me" instead of giving us a plan. And you
let him get away with it.
You let him get away with it because you're indulging in a great deal of
magical thinking. You let him get away with it because facts have ceased
to matter; as long as someone tells you something you want to hear,
you'll find a way to justify it with pseudo-science and trust and spit
and baling wire. You don't like to hear how bad a candidate Mitt was,
because you came so close this year, but it's true; the problem
is that so much of the country has abandoned listening to reality that
you can get massive votes and never touch a fact.
If you can't be honest today, in the aftermath of this great defeat,
then you're never going to see the truth.
If you seriously thought that Romney had a good chance of winning, then you're
part of the problem. Wake up. I implore you: learn from this. Look
at your deepest beliefs, and see whether the numbers support them. Start
thinking, maybe those people with data I don't like are right.
If you think the lesson to be learned is "We weren't conservative
enough," then you're handing me a great victory in 2016. I want to have
a real choice then.
Experts say the entire 2012 election could come down to just eight
states. The states are: confusion, dismay, depression, apathy, shock,
disbelief, despair, and anxiety. -Jay Leno
After the debate... experts agreed that President Obama won on substance
and I thought: Well, big deal, Lance Armstrong won on several
substances. -David Letterman
In fairness to Sarah Palin, "shuck" and "jive" are just two of the many
thousands of words she doesn't know the meaning of. -Andy Borowitz
One week after Election Day, the banks will be closed and the military
will be marching in the street. It's called Veterans Day.
I'm tired of every Republican politician being a medical supergenius on
vaginas. I want to hear gynecologists talk about the national debt. -Bill
Maher
This campaign has dragged on so long Newt Gingrich is abandoning it for
a younger, hotter, healthier campaign. -John Fugelsang
Karl Rove said the Tea Party is “not sophisticated;” which is sort of
like saying the Jonas Brothers are “not black.' -John
Fugelsang
I have never been more ashamed for a candidate, Politicizing fallen
Americans is pitiful and unacceptable. -Colin Powell
Colin Powell endorsed Barack Obama. Makes sense. They're both moderate
Republicans. -@Indecision
There's something wrong with our politics if we can't even agree about
rape anymore. -Andy Borowitz
I’ll be glad when this election’s over so I’ll know for sure whom I
should have voted for. -Steve Martin
The audience at the debate was instructed to turn off their cell phones
because they might interfere with Mitt Romney's circuitry. -Triumph,
The Insult Comic Dog
Governor, we also have fewer horses and bayonets because the nature of our military has changed.
We have these things called aircraft carriers where planes land on them. We have these ships that go
underwater, nuclear submarines. And so, the question is not a game of Battleship where we're
counting ships, it's “what are our capabilities?” Barack Obama
From social media, collected in real time during the debate:
Elayne Boosler:
“Boca Raton.” Mouth of the Rat. Just sayin'.
Maybe Mitt could fire Iran.
Mitt: “Gender equality for the middle east.” But not for American women.
Wait. Is this a rerun?
He's gonna ask his parents for the money.
Blame the tumult of the middle east on Obama, because it started only
four years ago.
Tumult, that's three! Can meshuga be far behind?
We owe China billions. They've kept us afloat. Let's threaten them!
Mali just declared war on Appleton Wisconsin.
Forget the flag pins. They should have worn squirting carnations.
---------
Albert Brooks:
Romney won the coin toss so the line between them is white.
Romney can see Russia from two of his houses.
Even Syria is bored with this debate.
Romney's expression says “The afterlife is going to be so tough for you.”
The Pentagon just turned to Monday Night Football.
A half hour in. What have we learned? They both don't like war and like
peace. Wow.
I don't know who's winning but Iran has just gone to Def Con 4.
Okay. We're back home again. They couldn't talk foreign affairs for more
than 30 minutes. That scares me.
Romney keeps bragging about the Olympics. I saw him. His figure skating
was embarrassing.
This Christmas Neiman Marcus is selling maps without Israel.
Get tough on China. Make Walmart close at six.
If Romney sweats any more, I get a royalty.
Romney will call China a currency manipulator. China will laugh and sell
him another flag pin.
Romney needs a binder full of kleenex.
---------
John Fugelsang:
It's unfair to say Mitt Romney is politicizing the tragedy of Benghazi
when he's actually exploiting it.
“The only way to deal with your enemy is to make him your friend.”
Abraham Lincoln, appeaser.
“We can't kill our way out”- Mitt Romney. “We need to kill them.”- Mitt
Romney, two minutes later
“We have to help these nations build civil societies”- Mitt Romney,
previously opposed to Nation Building.
If Iran develops a nuclear weapon Romney/Ryan would respond with the
strongest possible tax cuts.
Barack Obama just said the debate table was round & Mitt Romney said
it's actually flat.
Mitt Romney will stand up to Iran, Syria & Putin and is also afraid to
go on The View.
”Attacking me is not an agenda“ Mitt Romney, whose foreign policy plan
has consisted of attacking the president on Benghazi.
Romney strongly supports gender equality in middle east; and will get
back to you with his opinion on Lily Ledbetter act here.
It's fitting that Mitt Romney resembles Reed Richards from Fantastic
Four as his magic power is superhuman stretching.
Mitt just said we should've been more involved in Syria & also been less
involved. Those Bush aides were worth every penny.
Mitt Romney believes our government has to solve problems in Syria while
letting the Free Market solve problems here.
Romney is clearly winning on making the foreign policy debate not about
foreign policy
Mitt Romney just found a way to bash teachers' unions during a foreign
policy debate.
I want Bob Schieffer to grab Romney by the lapels and scream “WHERE'S
THE MONEY, LEBOWSKI?!”
Mitt wants to repeal Obamacare and increase the Pentagon budget to
defend Israel's right to universal (health) care.
Mitt just mentioned how he balanced the budget for the Olympics, leaving
out the millions in government earmarks that balanced it.
Non millionaires who voted for Bush and support Romney deserve
presidents like Bush and Romney.
Hey, Mitt- If you hate our tax system and want a religious conservative
government with no abortion or gay marriage, Iran is waiting for you.
Mitt Romney is ahead on impersonating Albert Brooks' flop sweat from Broadcast
News.
“The tightest sanctions must be tightened.”- Mitt Romney. He said that.
Obama took out bin Laden but wait til President Romney takes out Oscar
the Grouch
Somewhere in Hell Richard Nixon is embarrassed over Mitt Romney debate
sweat
GOP blaming Obama for the slow recovery is like Lucy blaming Charlie
Brown for missing the football.
---------
Andy Borowitz:
Romney: “No one has more experience abroad than my money.”
Romney: “I would bring all female troops home in time to cook dinner.”
Both candidates' use of the numbers 1 through 5 underscores the
importance of keeping Sesame Street.
If he loses, Mitt Romney has a bright future as a Clipart character.
Romney: “Across the Middle East, women are being kept in binders.”
When Romney is listening he looks exactly like my dad did when I told
him a lie.
We are now discussing the most pressing foreign policy issue facing
America today, the reading tests of fourth graders.
Romney: “There's no place more important to me than Israel except Ohio.”
Romney: “If the Prime Minister of Israel called me, I would do what I do
whenever someone talks to me: interrupt him.”
Romney: “Not only do I believe in drones, I am one.”
Romney: “The greatest threat to the world is nuclear powered women.”
---------
Beachwood Reporter
Suddenly every schmo on Twitter is a foreign policy expert.
“That's a perfect segue into the next question which neither of you will
answer.”
“And now, a ridiculous question that allows each of you to dispense
talking points to your base.
---------
Bill Maher:
Trouble already: Mitt says he wants to impose sanctions on ”Romnesia“.
“Kill our way out of this mess” is the theme of every American movie not
about talking animals or weddings.
Aside from talking points, Mitt doesn't know his Assad from a hole in
the ground.
Mitt, you do know that most of America thinks Mali is one of Obama's
daughters, right?
It's good they agree armed Americans should be involved with everyone,
everywhere. We loved armed intervention like Paula Dean loves butter.
Aside from talking points, Mitt doesn't know his Assad from a hole in
the ground
Mitt's entire debate strategy: What he just said, but from a white guy.
That's an amazingly specific number Mitt keeps pulling out of his ass,
12 million new jobs. But fellas, this is the foreign policy debate!
Jobs, teachers, education - gentlemen, please, can we get back to
killing foreigners?
Bob Scheiffer, could you ask about what's IN the military budget? If
people knew specifics,”I wouldn't cut nuttin'” wouldn't sound so good
I like hearing Mitt say how great he was for Massachusetts, the state
that will never, ever, ever vote for him.
I can't be the only one who's surprised to find out Buster Posey is a
white guy. Sorry, flipped to the game.
I've seen wider ideological differences between Jehovah's Witnesses.
Oh no he din't- Romney said his ultimate BubbleFact, “Apology Tour”
right in front of the guy who NEVER WENT ON ONE.
To clarify, Mitt is for moving heaven and earth, but only in regards to
mining.
You're losing, Mitt- bring up the fact that we have fewer knives and
rocks than we did during the French and Indian War.
Shorter version of Romney: Me strong. Obama weak. Hulk smash.
OK Mitt, one more try: we have fewer catapults and barrels of boiling
oil than we had in the crusades.
First debate, all agreed, Obama lost; second one, i say he won, but
Romney not trounced. But this one? Only bubbledwellers can say Mitt won
Mitt keeps taking issue with being criticized tonight - did they tell
him this is a debate?
OK, one last try: We have fewer Andrews Sisters and Ritz Brothers than
we did in 1944. So glad we're done with THAT!
---------
Wonkette:
“The audience has taken a vow of silence.” But not celibacy, one hopes.
We are debating during the 50th anniversary of the Cuban Missile Crisis.
This is very important, because we are painfully aware that neither of
these men is a Jack Kennedy.
Cutting Obamacare, which the CBO has projected will reduce the deficit,
will save money, because MAGIC.
Mitt is in favor of crippling sanctions like the ones Barry has put in
place. If elected, he will have the Doctor take him back to the Bush
administration to put them in place sooner, and more crippling-er.
Mittens, again with the “tumult.” Why does it sound like Yiddish when he
says “tumult”?
You know all about shipping jobs overseas, don’t you Governor? BOOM!
Mitt is pretending that he can feel empathy... Brent Spiner pulled this
off a lot more convincingly.
---------
Various fact checkers:
Politifact rated the claim that the U.S. Navy, U.S. Air Force are
smaller than in 1917 and 1947 “pants on fire.”
Romney wants to add $2 trillion to defense that it didn't ask for it.
True.
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