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ISSN: 1525-898X
Observations by and for the vaguely disenchanted by Kevin G. Barkes

 

Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.

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network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...

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Anniversary

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Requiem for a fictional Scotsman

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Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!

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Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon

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It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day

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A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City

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Da Burg Annat

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I Have Issues

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Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired

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At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh

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He knows if yinz is a jagoff

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Please support KGB Report by making your amazon.com purchases through our affiliate link:
 

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dcl dialogue online!

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no. we're not that kgb.

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KGB, CIA linked

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The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!

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Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution

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Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

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Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

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miscellany

Hard to describe.

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"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

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Our riveting and morally compelling...

Privacy statement

One of  52,045 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

	kgbreport.com Web

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(July 2000 and earlier)

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Saturday, July 25, 2009
posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

Photo of the day

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Friday, July 24, 2009
posted by KGB at 5:40 AM (permalink)

Birther idjits

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Born Identity
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Joke of the Day

 

You better listen up.

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posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

This weekend I bought one of those junior-size basketball hoop sets for my 5-year-old. It was called "Fast Break." It did.
The Covert Comic

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Thursday, July 23, 2009
posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

Video of the day

On July 23, 1962, Telstar relayed the first live trans-Atlantic television signal.

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Wednesday, July 22, 2009
posted by KGB at 7:02 AM (permalink)

Quotes of the day

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected.

I am an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way.

I tell you the past is a bucket of ashes.

Life is like an onion: you peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.

Our lives are like a candle in the wind.

Slang is a language that rolls up its sleeves, spits on its hands and goes to work.

Sometime they'll give a war and nobody will come.

The greatest cunning is to have none at all.

The history of the world and its peoples in three words: "born, troubled, died."

There are some people who can receive a truth by no other way than to have their understanding shocked and insulted.

There is an eagle in me that wants to soar and there is also a hippopotamus in me that wants to wallow in the mud.

Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.

Yesterday is done. Tomorrow never comes. Today is here. If you don't know what to do, sit still and listen.

I won't take my religion from any man who never works except with his mouth.

Six feet of earth make us all one size.

There are people who want to be everywhere at once, and they get nowhere.

Time is the storyteller you can't shut up.

-Carl Sandburg

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Tuesday, July 21, 2009
posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

Signs of the Apocalypse, #820

15 Mile Long Alaskan Blob Of Goo Baffles Experts

Here's what we do know...
 
1. It's 15 miles long.
 
2. It's not oil.
 
3. It's organic in nature, so it's alive (sort of).
 
4. It appears to be growing larger.
 
5. It's not affected by extremely cold temperatures.
 
6. AND, it's "eating" things that fall on it or that it envelopes as it slowly travels the Arctic Ocean.
 
I am officially terrified.

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Monday, July 20, 2009
posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

Contact light. Okay, engine stop. ACA out of detent. Mode control both auto. Descent engine command override off. Engine arm off. 413 is in.
-Edwin E. (Buzz) Aldrin, Jr., first words spoken by a human on the surface of the Moon.

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Sunday, July 19, 2009
posted by KGB at 2:09 PM (permalink)

Why we're doomed, #1,421

The state of television news, 2009:

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posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

Putting it in perspective

Those under the age of 40 might not appreciate the influence the late Walter Cronkite had on our perception of the news.

The population of the US today is about 306 million. The NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams the top network news program, averages about 8 million viewers, which means it reaches about 2.6% of the population.

When man landed on the moon in 1969, the population was about 202 million. Forty-five percent of those watching the moon landing followed Cronkite's marathon 27-hour coverage of the event. His regular evening news had twice the ratings of today's, with a third less televisions tuned in.

Cronkite was part of a generation of journalists whose felt their responsibility was not only to inform but to educate. When he spent 14 minutes explaining

The only television "news" program I can tolerate these days is The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, which nightly points out the excesses and failures of the modern broadcast media:

There's something fundamentally wrong when Jon Stewart is now the most trusted man in America.

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Copyright © 1987-2024 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...