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ISSN: 1525-898X
Observations by and for the vaguely disenchanted by Kevin G. Barkes

 

Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.

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network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...

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Anniversary

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Requiem for a fictional Scotsman

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Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!

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Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon

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It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day

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A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City

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Da Burg Annat

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I Have Issues

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Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired

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At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh

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He knows if yinz is a jagoff

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Please support KGB Report by making your amazon.com purchases through our affiliate link:
 

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dcl dialogue online!

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no. we're not that kgb.

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KGB, CIA linked

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The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!

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Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution

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Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

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Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

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miscellany

Hard to describe.

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"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

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Our riveting and morally compelling...

Privacy statement

One of  51,847 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

	kgbreport.com Web

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(July 2000 and earlier)

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Saturday, May 23, 2009
posted by KGB at 8:40 AM (permalink)

Military Intelligence strikes again

Windows 7, the replacement for the universally despised Windows Vista, is being released in a few months and is already available for evaluation download. Office 2010 will also be out shortly. So, of course...

WASHINGTON (Army News Service, May 20, 2009) -- The Army is migrating all of its Windows-based computers to Microsoft's Vista operating system to bolster Internet security and standardize its information systems.

The systems change, which includes swapping Office 2003 for Office 2007, is set to be completed by Dec. 31.

No doubt, the migration is being referred to as an "enhanced computing technique." Someone call the ACLU.

And in related stories, the DOD has named "New Coke" the official beverage of the armed services; the Apple Newton has been certified for use by the Joint Chiefs of Staff; and in all recreational venues, beer will be no longer be available- Marines will now quaff Zimas.

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posted by KGB at 1:23 AM (permalink)

The other Picard Maneuver...

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Friday, May 22, 2009
posted by KGB at 12:53 AM (permalink)

As someone who despises people who don't read the manual....

...I just love this bit by Jim Henson.

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Thursday, May 21, 2009
posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

Photo of the day

 

Sigh. Dads just don't seem able to get anyone
to take them seriously any more.

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Wednesday, May 20, 2009
posted by KGB at 6:44 AM (permalink)

Happy Birthday Cher

Cherilyn Sarkisian (b. May 20, 1946)

A girl can wait for the right man to come along but in the meantime she can have a wonderful time with the wrong ones.

I don't know how many more times I can beat this face into submission.

I would have gone home to my mother, but I'm not that crazy about my mother.

I've come back so many times. Someone once told me that after World War III, the only things that will still be around are cockroaches and Cher.

If grass can grow through cement, love can find you anywhere.

If Michelangelo painted in Caesar's Palace, would that make it any less art?

Mother told me a couple of years ago, "Sweetheart, settle down and marry a rich man." I said, "Mom, I am a rich man."

Sometimes I feel like an old hooker.

The only grounds for divorce in California is marriage.

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing- and then marry him.

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Tuesday, May 19, 2009
posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

Fascinating.

Spock has been on many minds lately, and not entirely because of the new film. Big thinkers in both print media and the blogosphere- from New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd to MIT media moguls- have referenced the Enterprise's science officer in recent months, drawing parallels between the dependably logical half-Vulcan and another mixed-race icon: Barack Obama.

Jeff Greenwald in salon.com

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Monday, May 18, 2009
posted by KGB at 5:16 PM (permalink)

It's not a jetpack, but I'll take it...

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posted by KGB at 6:55 AM (permalink)

An example of eloquence

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Sunday, May 17, 2009
posted by KGB at 6:02 AM (permalink)

The German is a nice touch

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Copyright © 1987-2024 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...