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ISSN: 1525-898X
Observations by and for the vaguely disenchanted by Kevin G. Barkes

 

Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.

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network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...

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Anniversary

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Requiem for a fictional Scotsman

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Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!

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Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon

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It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day

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A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City

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Da Burg Annat

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I Have Issues

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Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired

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At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh

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He knows if yinz is a jagoff

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Please support KGB Report by making your amazon.com purchases through our affiliate link:
 

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dcl dialogue online!

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no. we're not that kgb.

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KGB, CIA linked

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The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!

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Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution

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Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

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Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

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miscellany

Hard to describe.

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"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

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Our riveting and morally compelling...

Privacy statement

One of  52,045 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

	kgbreport.com Web

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(July 2000 and earlier)

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Saturday, March 28, 2009
posted by KGB at 12:48 AM (permalink)

I'm not a "Family Guy" fan...

... but I am a dyed in the wool Trekker, so I'm probably going to end up watching this tomorrow night:

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Friday, March 27, 2009
posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

Wow.

And I thought my cat was psychotic...

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Thursday, March 26, 2009
posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

Happy Birthday, Leonard Nimoy...

...who explains that Vulcan ritual borrows heavily from Jewish worship traditions.

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Wednesday, March 25, 2009
posted by KGB at 8:31 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

"It took us a couple of days because I like to know what I'm talking about before I speak."
-President Barack Obama, defending his decision to wait a few days before expressing anger over bonuses paid to executives of the insurance giant A.I.G.

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posted by KGB at 12:18 AM (permalink)

Happy Birthday, Howard

Lawyer turned sportscaster Howard Cosell would have been 91 today. Cosell was a media superstar, but not necessarily because he was well-liked. A bar in my neighborhood sold raffle tickets during Monday Night Football- the winner had the honor of hurling a brick through the television screen when Cosell's face appeared onscreen during halftime.

This attitude is best illustrated by this clip from Woody Allen's 1973 film Sleeper. Preserved via cryogenics following a botched surgery, Allen's character is revived 200 years in the future.

In this clip, Allen reviews artifacts from the 1970s and explains their significance to a 22nd century scientist.

What has this to do with Howard Cosell, you may ask? Wait until the end of the clip. It's a bit of a trip, but it's worth it:

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Monday, March 23, 2009
posted by KGB at 11:57 PM (permalink)

Some respect...

Jay Leno honors the memory of the great Rodney Dangerfield with his "the economy's bad" bits every night, but no one could do it like the master, especially when he was on a roll:

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posted by KGB at 1:08 AM (permalink)

Oratorio of the day

March 23, 1743: George Frideric Handel's oratorio "Messiah" had its premiere in London.

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Sunday, March 22, 2009
posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

How do I stay so healthy and boyishly handsome? It's simple. I drink the blood of young runaways.
-William Shatner (b March 22, 1931)

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Copyright © 1987-2025 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...