Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video,
raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance
of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.
network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...
Requiem for a fictional Scotsman
Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!
A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City
At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh
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dcl dialogue online!
no. we're not that kgb.
The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!
Americans United for Separation of Church and State
"No religious Test shall ever be required as a
Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the
United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution
Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000
Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000
miscellany
"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"
Our riveting and morally compelling...
One of 52,045 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Quote of the day
The first day of spring was once the time for taking the young virgins into the fields, there in dalliance to set an example in fertility for Nature to follow. Now we just set the clock an hour ahead and change the oil in the crankcase.
-E.B. White
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Friday, March 20, 2009
The Ides of March
Ok, so I'm a few days late:
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Thursday, March 19, 2009
Shouldn't he at least have a monocle and a hairless cat?
David Li, the guy they say is responsible
for the collapse of the world's economy.
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Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Fine. Now, where's my jetpack?
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The credit crisis in a nutshell
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Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Search of the day
1. Go to https://www.google.com
2. Enter "find Chuck Norris".
3. Click "I'm feeling lucky."
(Or, click here.)
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If "Pharmacy" is an integral part of the business name...
... then the pharmacy should be open when the rest of the store is open. Otherwise, name it what it is:
RITE AID
Mutant convenience store with thyroid problem
that fills prescriptions only when
it's profitable for us.
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Monday, March 16, 2009
Joke of the day
Heisenberg, Gödel, and Chomsky walk into a bar. Heisenberg says, "From the fact that we are all here I can infer that this is a joke, but cannot determine whether or not the joke is funny." Gödel says, "No, we can't tell if the joke is funny because we're inside it--if we could observe ourselves from outside, we would know." Chomsky just shakes his head sadly. "No, no," he says, "The joke is funny. You're just telling it wrong."
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Sunday, March 15, 2009
Well, he certainly followed through on his promise to get serious...
What a tool.
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Copyright © 1987-2024 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker
Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse.
Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however.
I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993,
and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know
that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but
rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to
type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically
pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about
everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word
about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated
numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would
notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com
they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...
(as a matter of fact, i AM the boss of you.)
It's here!
440 pages, over 11,000 quotations!
Eff the Ineffable, Scrute the Inscrutable
get kgb krap!