Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.

network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...


Requiem for a fictional Scotsman

Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!

Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon

It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day

A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City

Da Burg Annat

I Have Issues

Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired

At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh

He knows if yinz is a jagoff

Please support KGB Report by making your purchases through our affiliate link:

dcl dialogue online!

I Love DCL

no. we're not that kgb.

Cool Spinny Thingy!

KGB, CIA linked

The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!

Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution

Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

Geek of the Week

Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

Cruel Site of the Day (7/15/2000)


Hard to describe.

"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

USA Today Hotsite

Our riveting and morally compelling...

Privacy statement

One of  51,848 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

Google Web

(July 2000 and earlier)

Saturday, March 07, 2009


 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    


Quote of the day

I don't feel so good.
-last words of Luther Burbank, (March 7, 1849 - April 11, 1926)

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    


Friday, March 06, 2009

Song of the day

Happy birthday, Kiki Dee.
See the original 1976 video here.

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    


Thursday, March 05, 2009

"...the intelligence of a box of parrots."

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart does a great job of bringing inane and pompous politicians down a peg, highlighting their hypocrisies with video clips highlighting their often wildly inconsistent positions. ("Don't they realize we save the video?" Stewart once asked, incredulously.)

However, Comedy Central's "fake" news program reserves its most potent venom for the "real" news media. Nothing ignites the ire of Stewart and his staff more than a network which crows about its expertise but fails miserably in execution.

Last night, the show's writers and researches outdid themselves, revealing the "experts" at CNBC as the corporate shills they are. The show also handily explains how the Dow Jones index is an unerring finger on the pulse of the opinion of the American people and, with some help from New York Times business writer Joe Nocera, gives one of the most lucid explanations to date of the AIG debacle.

I can't repeat it often enough: If you really want to know what's going on, read the foreign newspapers online and watch The Daily Show every night. Sometimes the program is just silly, sometimes unfocused... but when Stewart and his staff become enraged at some perceived injustice, they frequently hit it out of the park, as they did last night.

"If I'd only followed CNBC's advice, I'd have a million dollars today- provided I started with a hundred million dollars."
-Jon Stewart

See the whole program here.

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    


Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Quote of the day

It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade.
-Charles Dickens

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    


Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Quote of the day

That was the best ice-cream soda I ever tasted.
-Last words of Lou Costello (March 6, 1906 - March 3, 1959)

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    


And anyway...

... it's Scotty's birthday. I may just take the rest of the day off.

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    


Foiled again

I awoke at 2:15 am after dreaming the solution to customer software problem that had been troubling me all day.

I climbed out of bed, tip-toed up to my office to avoid waking the dogs, slid into my chair and discovered my system was hung, the recently-installed anti-virus program consuming nearly 100% of the cpu.

Note the time of this post. That's how long it took me to resolve the hang and get the machine back into a usable condition. And bear in mind, it's been just a little over a week since I did a complete Windows reinstall to resolve an ever-worsening boot time problem.

And the solution to the software problem, the answer so vivid it roused me from deep REM sleep? When I finally connected to my machine at the office in Chicago, an e-mail from the customer was awaiting me, informing me their crisis was no longer an issue, since they decided to delay the project for a couple weeks. Turned out it wasn't a misssion-critical showstopper, but just something they were "fooling around with" during a slow day at the office.

We're taking one of the pups in to be spayed later this morning. I can think of someone else I'd like to prevent from breeding as well...

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    


Monday, March 02, 2009

The good news: Obama isn't the Antichrist.

The bad news: the end is still near, anyway...

Left Behind author Tim LaHaye reminds everyone the Antichrist doesn't appear until after the Rapture. So maybe all the dispensationalist premillenialists will give it a break.

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    


By any other name...

Cloud computing
Cloud computing is Internet ("cloud") based development and use of computer technology ("computing"). It is a style of computing in which dynamically scalable and often virtualised resources are provided as a service over the Internet. Users need not have knowledge of, expertise in, or control over the technology infrastructure "in the cloud" that supports them.

A distributed system is one in which the failure of a computer you didn't even know existed can render your own computer unusable.
-Leslie Lamport

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    


Sunday, March 01, 2009

The mortgage crisis explained...

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    


Copyright © 1987-2024 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The e-mail address is now something other than saga. used to be until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up and adopting created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the domain name in 1993, and had since that time used as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that was no longer but rather which is longer than and more letters to type than and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than but actually just as functional as I sent e-mails from the address to just about everybody I knew who had used in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that no longer is the they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...


Crystal Methodist

Laugh while you can, monkey-boy

I am a professional. Do not try this at home.

I canna change the laws of physics

As a matter of fact, I *am* the boss of you.
(as a matter of fact, i AM the boss of you.)

Truly great madness cannot be achieved without signficant intelligence

I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Left wing liberal nut job

Flies spread disease. Keep yours zipped.

Eff the ineffable, scrute the inscrutable.

If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.

If evolution is just a theory, why am I surrounded by monkeys?

Nutrition makes me puke

Feral Geek

eat wisely

Dyslexics have more fnu!

It's here!

Eff and Scrute

440 pages, over 11,000 quotations!

Eff the Ineffable, Scrute the Inscrutable

get kgb krap!

KGB Shirt