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ISSN: 1525-898X
Observations by and for the vaguely disenchanted by Kevin G. Barkes

 

Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.

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network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...

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Anniversary

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Requiem for a fictional Scotsman

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Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!

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Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon

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It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day

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A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City

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Da Burg Annat

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I Have Issues

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Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired

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At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh

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He knows if yinz is a jagoff

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Please support KGB Report by making your amazon.com purchases through our affiliate link:
 

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dcl dialogue online!

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no. we're not that kgb.

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KGB, CIA linked

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The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!

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Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution

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Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

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Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

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miscellany

Hard to describe.

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"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

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Our riveting and morally compelling...

Privacy statement

One of  52,059 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

	kgbreport.com Web

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(July 2000 and earlier)

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Saturday, October 11, 2008
posted by KGB at 9:30 AM (permalink)

The guy has a point...

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posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

I do not think America is going to smash. On the contrary I believe that quite soon they will begin to recover. As a country descends the ladder of values many grievances arise, bankruptcies and so forth. But one must never forget that at the same time all sorts of corrections are being applied, and adjustments being made by millions of people and thousands of firms. If the whole world except the United States sank under the ocean that community could get its living. They carved it out of the prairies and the forests. They are going to have a strong national resurgence in the near future. Therefore I wish to buy sound low priced stocks. I cannot afford any others.
-Winston Churchill, letter to his stockbroker H.C. Vickers, June 21, 1932

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Friday, October 10, 2008
posted by KGB at 8:36 AM (permalink)

Cartoon of the day

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posted by KGB at 7:53 AM (permalink)

Lookie Lookie Lookie

No more Archway cookies. Sigh.

The maker of Archway and Salerno cookies said the company, crumbling under rising prices for raw ingredients, has halted operations and filed for bankruptcy.

The Michigan-based company maintains a distribution center in Mokena's Corporate Corridors business park. Information wasn't available Wednesday about how many employees were affected by the company's shutdown.

In its bankruptcy filing, Archway & Mother's Cookie Co. listed assets in excess of $50 million and liabilities of more than $500 million. The company said it had hired Jeffrey Granger as chief restructuring officer, but it wasn't clear whether Archway's brands or manufacturing operations would be sold.

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posted by KGB at 5:01 AM (permalink)

Video of the day

After 14 months in Iraq, a veteran returns home to a special greeting...

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posted by KGB at 2:58 AM (permalink)

Finally, some numbers that make sense...

Sarah Palin has an IQ of 83. She made a stunning 841 on her college boards. See the rest here.

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posted by KGB at 1:39 AM (permalink)

Words of wisdom

The bigger they come, the harder they fall on you.-The Covert Comic

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posted by KGB at 1:33 AM (permalink)

You can't make this stuff up, #293

Palin pre-empts state report, clears self in probe

Oct 10, 12:40 AM (ET)

By MATT APUZZO

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) - Trying to head off a potentially embarrassing state ethics report on GOP vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin, campaign officials released their own report Thursday that clears her of any wrongdoing.

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posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

One tough outfit...

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Thursday, October 09, 2008
posted by KGB at 8:39 PM (permalink)

Fascinating: Spock endorses Obama

(Art by Drew Friedman)

Leonard Nimoy approves of Barack Obama's emotional detachment and logical approach to campaigning.

"He is measured and stable," said Mr. Nimoy, who played Mr. Spock on Star Trek, and who has supported Mr. Obama since they first met about a year and a half ago at a small Los Angeles fund-raiser. "It's true that he has an intellect that works for him, he handles difficult problems with aplomb. Reliability and stability are very important assets in this race, in these particularly volatile times."

(via Jason Horowitz in The New York Observer)

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posted by KGB at 9:57 AM (permalink)

But do they wash their hands- er, paws?

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posted by KGB at 9:49 AM (permalink)

Quotes of the day

As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.

Before Elvis, there was nothing.

God is a concept by which we measure our pain.

It's quite possible to do anything, but not to put it on the leaders and the parking meters. Don't expect Jimmy Carter or Ronald Reagan or John Lennon or Yoko Ono or Bob Dylan or Jesus Christ to come and do it for you. You have to do it yourself.

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.

-John Lennon (10/9/1940-12/8/1980)

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Wednesday, October 08, 2008
posted by KGB at 1:19 PM (permalink)

And they claim America has lost its technological edge...

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posted by KGB at 12:25 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

Competency is like pornography. I know it when I see it.
-Bill Maher

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Tuesday, October 07, 2008
posted by KGB at 3:20 AM (permalink)

Quotes of the day

An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes, which can be made, in a very narrow field.

Everything we call real is made of things that cannot be regarded as real.

Horseshoes have a way of bringing you luck even when you don't believe in them.

Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.

One of the favorite maxims of my father was the distinction between the two sorts of truths, profound truths recognised by the fact that the opposite is also a propound truth, in contrast to the trivialities where opposites are obviously absurd.

There are some things so serious you have to laugh at them.

-Niels Bohr

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posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

Marriage is certainly an odd sort of school. No one is ever allowed to graduate. All you can do is flunk out or sign up for another semester.
-Bob Giddings

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Monday, October 06, 2008
posted by KGB at 7:13 PM (permalink)

Maybe Ohio, but not America!

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posted by KGB at 11:00 AM (permalink)

A matter of ethics

I received the following the other day:

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I see your site already talks about our competiton, so I guess I have nothing to lose... I am going to give you the latest version of the NoteScraps software for free if you just link to our site and promise to review it.

Okay, the honest truth is we are desperate for reviews of our awesome new sticky note software. Well, maybe it is better called note scrap software, or random information manager software, or something else. anyway, you see the problem. We can't even figure out how to describe it to people, but it really is awesome. We all use it every day, and hundreds of customers do too, but we need thousands of customers.

That's why we are willing to give you a free copy of NoteScraps if you will review it and post a link to it.

If you want a free copy, all you have to do is write something about NoteScraps and link to https://www.notescraps.com somewhere on your site. You can download a copy here: https://www.notescraps.com/#download

If you want the full version just post a review and a link then email us.

Send an email to freebie@notescraps.com us with the following details:

The URL where you made the link to us:
Your name:
Email:

We hope you love it as much as we do!

-The NoteScraps team
https://www.notescraps.com/

PS. To get you started, try making at least a half dozen notes, birthdays, websites, phone mail messages, shopping lists, passwords, airline mileage account numbers, reminders.

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Aside from spelling "competition" incorrectly, I have a problem with this type of sales approach, as I noted when I used to be a big-time computer columnist.

For what it's worth, I downloaded the software, tried it out and bought a license. I like the fact the whole thing is driven off a plain text file, was less than thrilled that I had to get Microsoft's .NET up and running in order to use the software, but all in all, a decent piece of software.

Given its limited functionality is actually a selling point, I still wish NoteScraps had just one or two more features: specifically, the ability to select the font I'd like to use. A nice mono-spaced Courier would make it much more useful to me.

I'm not going to give up InfoSelect or any of the other information managers I play with, but NoteScraps is a handy place to stick frequently-used pieces of info or as a holding area for stuff until I can file it in my "real" data storage areas.

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posted by KGB at 7:52 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

Anyone who believes exponential growth can go on forever in a finite world is either a madman or an economist.
-Kenneth Boulding

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Sunday, October 05, 2008
posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

T-shirt of the day

(via CafePress)

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Copyright © 1987-2025 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...