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ISSN: 1525-898X
Observations by and for the vaguely disenchanted by Kevin G. Barkes

 

Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.

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network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...

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Anniversary

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Requiem for a fictional Scotsman

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Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!

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Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon

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It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day

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A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City

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Da Burg Annat

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I Have Issues

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Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired

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At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh

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He knows if yinz is a jagoff

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Please support KGB Report by making your amazon.com purchases through our affiliate link:
 

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dcl dialogue online!

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no. we're not that kgb.

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KGB, CIA linked

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The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!

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Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution

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Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

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Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

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miscellany

Hard to describe.

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"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

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Our riveting and morally compelling...

Privacy statement

One of  52,041 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

	kgbreport.com Web

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(July 2000 and earlier)

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Saturday, October 04, 2008
posted by KGB at 2:37 PM (permalink)

Palin kid names...

I'm rather partial to "Spackle" and "Thud."

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posted by KGB at 10:17 AM (permalink)

Political quote of the day

I think he watched tapes of how Johnny Carson dealt with Charo.
-Gary Shandling (describing Joe Biden's preparations to debate Sarah Palin)

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posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

You know what $700 billion buys? It can buy you 100 senators and 435 congressmen.
-Jay Leno

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Friday, October 03, 2008
posted by KGB at 7:54 AM (permalink)

Quotes of the day

Apparently, a democracy is a place where numerous elections are held at great cost without issues and with interchangeable candidates.

For certain people, after 50, litigation takes the place of sex.

Half of the American people never read a newspaper. Half never voted for president. One hopes it is the same half.

I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.

It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.

Never have children, only grandchildren.

Some bastards have been great presidents.

Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn.

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink.

The brain that doesn't feed itself, eats itself.

The more money an American accumulates, the less interesting he becomes.

Today's public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can't read them, either.

-Gore Vidal (b. October 3, 1925)

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posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

Just an observation

When a debate moderator asks a question, and a participant arbitrarily ignores it and just rambles on with his or her talking points, the moderator should be permitted to press a buttom which would sound a loud air horn and drop a bucket of slime on the participant's head.

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Thursday, October 02, 2008
posted by KGB at 3:38 PM (permalink)

Post turtle Palin

"Well, ya know, Palin is a post turtle."

"When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, it's a post turtle."

"You know she didn't get up there by herself, she doesn't belong up there, she doesn't know what to do while she is up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put her up there to begin with."

(via The Zoo)

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posted by KGB at 12:04 PM (permalink)

Thanks for clearing that up

(via Eric Stark.)

The Sixties was a decade without quality control.-P.J. O'Rourke

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posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

Why is this soiled, crumpled, overdecorated piece of paper bearing a picture of a rather disreputable president worth fifty dollars, while this clean, soft, white, and cleverly folded piece of paper is worth so little that I just wiped my nose on it?
-P.J. O'Rourke

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Wednesday, October 01, 2008
posted by KGB at 10:22 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

The truth is, we are all caught in a great economic system which is heartless.
-Woodrow Wilson

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posted by KGB at 9:40 AM (permalink)

Another brilliant analysis

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posted by KGB at 9:18 AM (permalink)

Happy Birthday, Richard

Richard St. John Harris (October 1, 1930 - October 25, 2002)

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posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

McCain/Palin by 51.2%, three Electoral Votes

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Tuesday, September 30, 2008
posted by KGB at 1:17 PM (permalink)

Lemme tell ya...

I wrote a five dollar check. The check didn't bounce. The bank did.
-Jay Leno

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posted by KGB at 9:50 AM (permalink)

The real pain...

... is going to hit next month, when the banks and credit card companies begin lowering credit limits.

I have a friend who relies on his credit card to tide him over until he gets paid by his customers. He pays the card balance in full every month, and has never been late.

Yesterday, his credit line was cut in half. The card issuer is "re-evaluating our lending practices given the current state of the economy." Which means he suddenly can't pay for the airline tickets, gasoline, and online services he needs to run his business on a daily basis.

Wait until the Christmas shopping season begins, and there's no credit available to consumers.

"A creditor is worse than a slave-owner; for the master owns only your person, but a creditor owns your dignity, and can command it."
-Victor Hugo

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posted by KGB at 9:46 AM (permalink)

That's reassuring.....

Rob Lieber, New York Times

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posted by KGB at 9:10 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

The Great Depression, like most other periods of severe unemployment, was produced by government mismanagement rather than by any inherent instability of the private economy.
-Milton Friedman

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posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

McCain's health

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Monday, September 29, 2008
posted by KGB at 4:55 PM (permalink)

Please don't call the economy a "catastrophe"...

Because "any incident, regardless of location, that results in extraordinary levels of mass casualties, damage, or disruption severely affecting the U.S. population, infrastructure, environment, economy, or government functions" will give Bush dictatorial powers.

Nope, not kidding. Another one of those little goodies which the corporate-controlled media failed to tell you about.

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posted by KGB at 4:15 AM (permalink)

It's really not funny.

The biggest laugh during the Saturday Night Live parody of Sarah Palin's CBS News interview was, in fact, an almost verbatim quote of the actual response given by the governor to a question by Katie Couric.

"You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it."
-Art Buchwald

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posted by KGB at 1:01 AM (permalink)

When you have a spare hour...

... watch this video. It explains the economic implosion rather well.

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posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

Quotes of the Day

All varieties of interference with the market phenomena not only fail to achieve the ends aimed at by their authors and supporters, but bring about a state of affairs which- from the point of view of their authors' and advocates valuations- is less desirable than the previous state of affairs which they were designed to alter.
-Ludwig von Mises, (9/29/1881-10/10/1973)

Rather ironic that the Big Bailout occurs on von Mises' birthday.

A quote attributed to Milton Friedman is a bit more succinct:

The government solution to a problem is usually as bad as the problem.

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Sunday, September 28, 2008
posted by KGB at 6:32 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

As the opinion polls move steadily in favour of President George W. Bush and the likelihood of a John Kerry presidency recedes, Democrats in the United States can take solace in two facts. If their man is not in the White House for the next four years, then they will not end up carrying the blame for the almost inevitable US defeat in Iraq- and they will not have to preside over the biggest financial crisis to hit the United States since the Great Depression.
-Gwynne Dyer (Wired Blogs, September 21, 2004)

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posted by KGB at 5:07 AM (permalink)

Goodbye...

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Copyright © 1987-2024 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...