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ISSN: 1525-898X
Observations by and for the vaguely disenchanted by Kevin G. Barkes

 

Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.

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network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...

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Anniversary

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Requiem for a fictional Scotsman

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Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!

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Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon

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It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day

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A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City

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Da Burg Annat

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I Have Issues

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Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired

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At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh

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He knows if yinz is a jagoff

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Please support KGB Report by making your amazon.com purchases through our affiliate link:
 

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dcl dialogue online!

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no. we're not that kgb.

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KGB, CIA linked

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The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!

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Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution

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Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

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Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

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miscellany

Hard to describe.

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"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

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Our riveting and morally compelling...

Privacy statement

One of  52,075 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

	kgbreport.com Web

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(July 2000 and earlier)

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Saturday, April 19, 2008
posted by KGB at 7:57 AM (permalink)

You don't mess with Father Mike...

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posted by KGB at 12:24 AM (permalink)

Wow. I didn't realize it was that bad....

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Friday, April 18, 2008
posted by KGB at 4:43 AM (permalink)

Video of the week

Last night's Colbert Report was brilliant, with sharp comedic writing and marvelous self-deprecating bits featuring Hillary Clinton and especially John Edwards:

Edwards: There are two Americas; one America that does the work, and one that reaps the rewards..."

Edwards: "Hey!"

Edwards: "If we want to, we can end poverty in 30 years:"

The full Edwards video:

Jump on over to the Colbert Report website and also see Hillary Clinton save the day and Barack Obama get in the final word...

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posted by KGB at 4:29 AM (permalink)

Why we're doomed, #812...

Welcome to the newest Internet trend, scarier than Fatal Attraction... the former spouse YouTube video:

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Thursday, April 17, 2008
posted by KGB at 4:45 PM (permalink)

That's what ya gotta do....

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posted by KGB at 7:08 AM (permalink)

There are more than 19,000 like this on ABC's web site...

 

But if you watched the self-congratulatory Good Morning America today, you'd have thought the event was moderated by the ghost of Edward R. Murrow. Then on to the polygamy trials, which is, of course, news vital to the republic.

As Will Bunch of The Philadelphia Daily News observed, "Indeed, if I were a citizen of one of those nations where America is seeking to 'export democracy,' and I had watched the debate, I probably would have said, 'No thank you.' Because that was no way to promote democracy."

Television is no longer a source for unbiased journalism. Except, of course, for The Daily Show.

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Wednesday, April 16, 2008
posted by KGB at 6:21 PM (permalink)

Hoist by her own petard...

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posted by KGB at 12:02 AM (permalink)

A certain logic...

Perhaps the GOP is stronger on defense. If the Democrats can't even protect the country from Republicans, how will they protect it from terrorists?
Jeff Robins

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Tuesday, April 15, 2008
posted by KGB at 9:26 PM (permalink)

re: The elite and the bitter...

We must abandon the prevalent belief in the superior wisdom of the ignorant.-Daniel Boorstin

Current Lou Dobbs poll on CNN:

Oops.

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posted by KGB at 5:18 AM (permalink)

No more dummies for President...

I know elite is a bad word in politics, you want to go bowling and throw back a few beers... But the job you're applying for? And if you get it and it goes well? They might carve your head into a mountain. If you don't actually think you're better than us, then what the **** are you doing?

In fact, not only do I want an elite President, I want someone who is embarrassingly superior to me. Someone who speaks 16 languages and sleeps two hours a night hanging upside down in a chamber they themselves designed. I want someone like this guy:

(Some unrelated trivia... "this guy" is actually actress Meg Wyllie.)

See Jon Stewart support "elitism" and accurately
describe what it's like to live in a small town in western Pennsylvania...

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Monday, April 14, 2008
posted by KGB at 12:01 AM (permalink)

This does not bode well...

Today's the anniversary of Lincoln's assassination and the Titanic hitting the iceberg, and to top it off, today's National Temperature Index is 666°F.

If you need me, I'll be in a fetal position under my desk...

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Sunday, April 13, 2008
posted by KGB at 5:58 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

If you have more than seven keys, your life is too complicated.
-Tom Magliozzi, cartalk.com

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Copyright © 1987-2025 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...