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ISSN: 1525-898X
Observations by and for the vaguely disenchanted by Kevin G. Barkes

 

Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.

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network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...

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Anniversary

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Requiem for a fictional Scotsman

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Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!

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Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon

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It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day

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A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City

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Da Burg Annat

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I Have Issues

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Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired

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At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh

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He knows if yinz is a jagoff

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Please support KGB Report by making your amazon.com purchases through our affiliate link:
 

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dcl dialogue online!

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no. we're not that kgb.

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KGB, CIA linked

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The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!

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Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution

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Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

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Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

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miscellany

Hard to describe.

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"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

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Our riveting and morally compelling...

Privacy statement

One of  52,045 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

	kgbreport.com Web

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(July 2000 and earlier)

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Friday, January 04, 2008
posted by KGB at 10:46 AM (permalink)

Straight-Talking McCain

You have to wait until the end of the video, but it's worth it. At least he does seem to be mellowing a bit.

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posted by KGB at 5:03 AM (permalink)

Mission Accomplished

My 2008 New Year's resolution was to learn how to play Holland-Dozier-Holland's "Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch)" on piano, which I managed to do in a couple days.

It's all a matter of setting reasonable goals.

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Thursday, January 03, 2008
posted by KGB at 11:00 AM (permalink)

Good road conditions, light traffic, and a tactical nuclear explosion.

PRAGUE, Czech Republic (AP) -- Members of a Czech art group who hacked into television broadcasting with images of a hoax nuclear explosion were charged and will have to stand trial, a state prosecutor said Thursday.

The six members of the Prague-based Ztohoven group were charged last month with spreading false information and face up to three years in jail if convicted, said Dusan Ondracek, the state prosecutor in the northern town of Trutnov, who is in charge of the case.

The trial could begin by the end of January, Ondracek said.

On June 17, viewers of a Czech television channel watching a Web cam program monitoring weather in various Czech mountain resorts could see a nuclear explosion taking place in the Krkonose or Giant Mountains in the northern Czech Republic.

In December, the project was awarded the NG 333 prize for young artists by Prague's National Gallery together with a cash prize of 333,000 koruna (US$18,350).

(For a moment there, I thought it was a Rudy Giuliani campaign ad. Didn't they once do this in an episode of Mission: Impossible?)

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posted by KGB at 10:48 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

Sandy is a girl from Texas- just like me.
-George W. Bush

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Wednesday, January 02, 2008
posted by KGB at 2:19 PM (permalink)

Snarky quote of the day

I've been with my wife for 10 years now. If she got onstage right now, y'all wouldn't laugh at all.
-Chris Rock, questioning Hillary Clinton's logic that being married to Bill makes her qualified to hold the office.

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posted by KGB at 1:23 PM (permalink)

Blatantly obsequious quote of the day

Complete masculinity and stupidity are often indistinguishable.
H.L. Mencken

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posted by KGB at 9:16 AM (permalink)

The secret to a happy New Year...

is simple. Surround yourself with your kids and grandkids.
And dogs. Lots of dogs.

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Monday, December 31, 2007
posted by KGB at 6:01 PM (permalink)

Handel's Hallelujah Chorus Performed by Bearded Nuns with Flashcards

Any questions?

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posted by KGB at 5:58 AM (permalink)

Quotes of the day

It is not true that life is one damn thing after another- it is one damn thing over and over.
-Edna St. Vincent Millay

Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.
-Benjamin Franklin

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?
-Ogden Nash

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.
-Bill Vaughan

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Sunday, December 30, 2007
posted by KGB at 6:42 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

I guess I'm just an old mad scientist at bottom. Give me an underground laboratory, half a dozen atom-smashers, and a beautiful girl in a diaphanous veil waiting to be turned into a chimpanzee, and I care not who writes the nation's laws.
-S.J. Perelman

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Copyright © 1987-2025 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...