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ISSN: 1525-898X
Observations by and for the vaguely disenchanted by Kevin G. Barkes

 

Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.

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network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...

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Anniversary

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Requiem for a fictional Scotsman

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Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!

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Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon

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It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day

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A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City

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Da Burg Annat

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I Have Issues

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Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired

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At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh

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He knows if yinz is a jagoff

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Please support KGB Report by making your amazon.com purchases through our affiliate link:
 

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dcl dialogue online!

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no. we're not that kgb.

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KGB, CIA linked

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The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!

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Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution

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Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

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Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

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miscellany

Hard to describe.

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"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

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Our riveting and morally compelling...

Privacy statement

One of  52,075 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

	kgbreport.com Web

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(July 2000 and earlier)

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Friday, August 10, 2007
posted by KGB at 3:02 AM (permalink)

They won't get my business, either...

Although it explains why the IT guys never seem to leave the server room.

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Thursday, August 09, 2007
posted by KGB at 2:15 PM (permalink)

Delusional statement of the day

Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney said that while his five sons decided not to enter the volunteer military, they're good citizens nonetheless. "One of the ways my sons are showing support for our nation is helping me get elected because they think I'd be a great president."

Probably because of the mobile canine waterboarder's "emotion-free crisis management skills."

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posted by KGB at 4:57 AM (permalink)

I canna' change the laws of economics!

If you're willing to pay $600 for a "Cluster of Dilithium Crystals:"

I have some even more interesting-looking stuff growing under my kitchen sink that I'll let you have for just twenty bucks, along with a lot of Home Interiors plastic crap abandoned by the ex.

(via Rafal M. Sulejman)

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Wednesday, August 08, 2007
posted by KGB at 4:23 AM (permalink)

Eat your heart out, Hammacher-Schlemmer

This amazon.com listing gives rare insight into the life styles of those who purchase the JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank. They also buy grapes, bananas, white bread, fart bombs, stink bombs, and- if you scroll down the page a little bit- the simply stunning "Inflatable Party Sheep.

The road trips must be legendary.

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posted by KGB at 3:29 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

There was a myth when I was growing up in Cleveland that if you dig a hole deep enough, you'll get to China.
We're there.
-Congressman/Democratic Presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich

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Tuesday, August 07, 2007
posted by KGB at 3:58 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

You're in the desert. You got nothing else to do. Name the freakin' horse!
-Richard Jeni

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Monday, August 06, 2007
posted by KGB at 3:18 PM (permalink)

Forget Iran... Pentagon main weapons source for Iraq insurgents

The Pentagon has lost track of about 190,000 AK-47 assault rifles and pistols given to Iraqi security forces in 2004 and 2005, according to a new government report, raising fears that some of those weapons have fallen into the hands of insurgents fighting U.S. forces in Iraq.

The report from the Government Accountability Office indicates that U.S. military officials do not know what happened to 30 percent of the weapons the United States distributed to Iraqi forces from 2004 through early this year as part of an effort to train and equip the troops. The highest previous estimate of unaccounted-for weapons was 14,000, in a report issued last year by the inspector general for Iraq reconstruction.

The United States has spent $19.2 billion trying to develop Iraqi security forces since 2003, the GAO said, including at least $2.8 billion to buy and deliver equipment. But the GAO said weapons distribution was haphazard and rushed and failed to follow established procedures, particularly from 2004 to 2005, when security training was led by Gen. David H. Petraeus, who now commands all U.S. forces in Iraq.

(You're doin' a heckuva job, Petty.)

(via Washington Post, via MSNBC)

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posted by KGB at 2:37 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

People keep asking me, "What evil lurks in you to play such bad characters?" There is no evil in me. I just wear tight underwear.
-Dennis Hopper

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Sunday, August 05, 2007
posted by KGB at 6:31 AM (permalink)

Thought of the day

(New secrets today at PostSecret.)

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Copyright © 1987-2025 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...