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ISSN: 1525-898X
Observations by and for the vaguely disenchanted by Kevin G. Barkes

 

Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.

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network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...

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Anniversary

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Requiem for a fictional Scotsman

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Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!

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Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon

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It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day

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A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City

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Da Burg Annat

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I Have Issues

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Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired

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At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh

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He knows if yinz is a jagoff

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Please support KGB Report by making your amazon.com purchases through our affiliate link:
 

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dcl dialogue online!

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no. we're not that kgb.

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KGB, CIA linked

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The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!

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Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution

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Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

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Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

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miscellany

Hard to describe.

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"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

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Our riveting and morally compelling...

Privacy statement

One of  51,847 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

	kgbreport.com Web

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(July 2000 and earlier)

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Friday, July 06, 2007
posted by KGB at 5:52 AM (permalink)

Cartoon of the week

That's what I hate about this city. You roast in summer,
you freeze in winter, and the rest of the time
it's carnivorous pig bats.
(Joe Dator, Published in The New Yorker July 9, 2007)

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Thursday, July 05, 2007
posted by KGB at 8:40 AM (permalink)

Happy Birthday Spam

Spam is 70 years old today.

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
-Johnny Carson

Velveeta exists so that vegetarians can have Spam too.
-Unattributed

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Wednesday, July 04, 2007
posted by KGB at 9:52 AM (permalink)

TV Listing of the day

10 p.m. An American Celebration at Ford's Theater

The country is divided over a war and the president sees a performance at Ford's theater.

Don't get your hopes up. ABC.

(Marin Independent Journal)

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Tuesday, July 03, 2007
posted by KGB at 10:46 AM (permalink)

The shopping carts have cooties.

According to studies done on shopping carts, more than 60 percent of them are harboring coliform bacteria (the sort more often associated with public toilet seats). "These bacteria may be coming from raw foods or from children who sit in the carts," says Chuck Gerba, Ph.D., a microbiologist at University of Arizona. "Just think about the fact that a few minutes ago, some kid's bottom was where you are now putting your broccoli." According to studies done by Gerba and his colleagues at University of Arizona, shopping carts had more bacteria than other surfaces they tested-- even more than escalators, public phones and public bathrooms. To avoid picking up nasty bacteria, Gerba recommends using sanitizing wipes to clean off cart handles and seats, and to wash your hands after you finish shopping.

10 Things Your Grocery Store Doesn't Want You to Know

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posted by KGB at 2:46 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

If there's a leak out of my administration, I want to know who it is... If the person has the violated law, that person will be taken care of.
-George W. Bush

Yep. He's a man of his word. Scooter Libby certainly was "taken care of."

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Monday, July 02, 2007
posted by KGB at 1:07 PM (permalink)

Quote of the day

It must have been a sobering moment for extraterrestrials when, performing mind-scans on the humans they had brought on board their spaceship in preparation for establishing contact, they first learned the concept of "lawsuit."
-The Covert Comic

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Copyright © 1987-2024 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...