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ISSN: 1525-898X
Observations by and for the vaguely disenchanted by Kevin G. Barkes

 

Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.

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network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...

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Anniversary

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Requiem for a fictional Scotsman

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Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!

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Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon

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It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day

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A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City

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Da Burg Annat

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I Have Issues

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Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired

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At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh

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He knows if yinz is a jagoff

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Please support KGB Report by making your amazon.com purchases through our affiliate link:
 

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dcl dialogue online!

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no. we're not that kgb.

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KGB, CIA linked

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The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!

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Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution

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Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

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Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

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miscellany

Hard to describe.

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"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

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Our riveting and morally compelling...

Privacy statement

One of  52,045 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

	kgbreport.com Web

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(July 2000 and earlier)

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Friday, June 15, 2007
posted by KGB at 5:19 AM (permalink)

Quotes of the day, birthday edition

Mario Cuomo, June 15, 1932

The price of seeking to force our beliefs on others is that someday they might force their beliefs on us.

The vice presidency is a neglected positive. It is like the word "inept." Nobody ever says "ept."

You campaign in poetry. You govern in prose.

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Thursday, June 14, 2007
posted by KGB at 2:50 AM (permalink)

Quotes of the day, birthday edition

Donald Trump, June 14, 1946.

As long as you're going to be thinking anyway, think big.
-Donald Trump

Show me someone without an ego, and I'll show you a loser.
-Donald Trump

One day Donald Trump will discover that he is owned- lock, stock and roulette wheel- by Lutheran Brotherhood, and must negotiate his debt load with a committee of silent Norwegians who don't understand why anyone would pay more than $120 for a suit.
-Garrison Keillor

In what is widely thought to be the largest leveraged buyout to date, Donald Trump announced that if everyone in the world will lend him all the money they have, he will buy everything they own.
-P.J. O'Rourke

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Wednesday, June 13, 2007
posted by KGB at 6:02 AM (permalink)

Picture of the week

Sue Ellen prepares for another harvest, thus guaranteeing her
re-election to an unprecedented third term
as president of the Ladies Garden Club.

(Lots of equally disturbing photos here.)

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posted by KGB at 5:05 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

I often say after eight years in Washington, I longed for the realism and sincerity of Hollywood.
-Fred Thompson (on "The Tonight Show")

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Tuesday, June 12, 2007
posted by KGB at 7:16 AM (permalink)

Quotes of the day, birthday edition

George H.W. Bush (Bush 41) turns 81 today.

Trying to eliminate Saddam, extending the ground war into an occupation of Iraq, would have violated our guideline about not changing objectives in midstream, engaging in "mission creep," and would have incurred incalculable human and political costs. Apprehending him was probably impossible. We had been unable to find Noriega in Panama, which we knew intimately. We would have been forced to occupy Baghdad and, in effect, rule Iraq. The coalition would instantly have collapsed, the Arabs deserting it in anger and other allies pulling out as well. Under those circumstances, furthermore, we had been self-consciously trying to set a pattern for handling aggression in the post-cold war world. Going in and occupying Iraq, thus unilaterally exceeding the U.N.'s mandate, would have destroyed the precedent of international response to aggression we hoped to establish. Had we gone the invasion route, the U.S. could conceivably still be an occupying power in a bitterly hostile land. It would have been a dramatically different- and perhaps barren- outcome.
-from "A World Transformed," 1998

Whose life would be on my hands as the commander-in-chief because I, unilaterally, went beyond the international law, went beyond the stated mission, and said we're going to show our macho? We're going into Baghdad. We're going to be an occupying power- America in an Arab land- with no allies at our side. It would have been disastrous. We don't gain the size of our victory by how many innocent kids running away- even though they're bad guys- that we can slaughter... We're American soldiers; we don't do business that way.
-to a reunion of Gulf War veterans (February 28, 1999)

I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them.

I'll be glad to either reply to or dodge your questions, whichever I think will help our election most.

I'm conservative, but I'm not a nut about it.

There are some people who still think Elvis is alive.

We're enjoying sluggish times, and not enjoying them very much.

You have to have all the facts before you jump to conclusions.

I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm the President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.

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Sunday, June 10, 2007
posted by KGB at 4:24 AM (permalink)

Set your Tivo

8 p.m. "Tony Awards"

People you've never heard of getting awards for plays you'll never see. CBS.

(from the Marin Independent Journal)

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Copyright © 1987-2024 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...