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ISSN: 1525-898X
Observations by and for the vaguely disenchanted by Kevin G. Barkes

 

Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.

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network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...

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Anniversary

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Requiem for a fictional Scotsman

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Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!

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Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon

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It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day

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A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City

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Da Burg Annat

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I Have Issues

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Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired

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At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh

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He knows if yinz is a jagoff

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Please support KGB Report by making your amazon.com purchases through our affiliate link:
 

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dcl dialogue online!

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no. we're not that kgb.

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KGB, CIA linked

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The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!

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Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution

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Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

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Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

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miscellany

Hard to describe.

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"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

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Our riveting and morally compelling...

Privacy statement

One of  52,041 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

	kgbreport.com Web

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(July 2000 and earlier)

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Friday, November 04, 2005
posted by KGB at 4:27 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

IBM has developed a new chip that actually slows down the speed of light. It's based on FEMA technology.
-Jay Leno

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Thursday, November 03, 2005
posted by KGB at 10:45 PM (permalink)

Yep, it's the Apocalypse

The National Temperature Index is 666°F again today, the second time in a week. Either Nick Perry's spirit is mucking with the meteorological readings, or something really not good is going to happen. You heard it here first.

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posted by KGB at 9:02 AM (permalink)

Drug of the day

Click on the image for more information. Be certain to read the important safety information. Especially if you're a squirrel.

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Wednesday, November 02, 2005
posted by KGB at 4:32 AM (permalink)

Quote of the day

Would someone please give him a blowjob so we can impeach him?
-Sign at Washington, DC anti-war protest

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Tuesday, November 01, 2005
posted by KGB at 10:15 AM (permalink)

Quote of the Day (True Colors Edition)

I want the President to look across the country and find the best man, woman, or minority that he can find.
-Trent Lott on Bush's Supreme Court search

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posted by KGB at 7:19 AM (permalink)

Strawberry Shortcake

Well, actually, it's our granddaughter, Leanna. And she's had freckle augmentation. But what the hey, it was Halloween.

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Monday, October 31, 2005
posted by KGB at 6:48 AM (permalink)

Quote(s) of the Day

.... the best way to prepare is to write programs, is to study great programs that other people have written. In my case, I went to the garbage cans at the Computer Science Center and I fished out listings of their operating system.
-Bill Gates, in Programmers at Work

Bill... There's a reason it was in the garbage...
-Chuck Maddox

(Thanks to Norma van der Plaas on alt.quotations).

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posted by KGB at 6:31 AM (permalink)

Oh, this is not good...

It's Halloween, and today's National Temperature Index is 666°F, the first time that number's come up since the NTI was transferred from ABC's World News Now to KGB in '03. I don't know about you, but I'm going back to bed.

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Copyright © 1987-2024 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...