Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.
network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...
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no. we're not that kgb.
The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!
"No religious Test shall ever be required as a
Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the
Article VI, U.S. Constitution
Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000
Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000
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Our riveting and morally compelling...
One of 51,848 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.
Friday, January 21, 2005
Headline of the day
Bush Begins New Term, Vows to End Tyranny (AP)
That's good news. Oh. Not here.
Both sides of the coin
Some, I know, have questioned the global appeal of liberty- though
this time in history, four decades defined by the swiftest advance of
freedom ever seen, is an odd time for doubt. Americans, of all
people, should never be surprised by the power of our ideals.
-George W. Bush, second inaugural address, Jan. 20, 2005
Despotism has so often been established in the name of liberty that
experience should warn us to judge parties by their practices rather
than their preachings.
-Raymond Aron, The Opium of the Intellectuals
(Thanks to The Sanity Inspector on alt.quotations)
Thursday, January 20, 2005
This is just too easy.
Go ahead. Make up your own.
Quote of the day
The office of the president is such a bastardized thing, half royalty and half democracy, that nobody knows whether to genuflect or spit.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
"CHICAGO (Reuters) - Krispy Kreme Doughnuts Inc., whose share price has collapsed as it faces a federal accounting probe and shareholder lawsuits, on Tuesday replaced its chairman and chief executive with a restructuring expert who currently runs Enron Corp."
Enron? Great. Now when you go into Krispy Kreme and order a box of doughnut holes, you'll get a box full of air. Well, they're holes, right?
Good ol' Tom
You don't hear about Tom Hanks running around nights. You don't hear about Tom Hanks stealing. You don't read about Tom Hanks in The National Enquirer. That's what I like about Tom- he never gets caught.
Monday, January 17, 2005
Graffiti of the day
Dyslexics have more fnu.
(thanks to Roo-Barb on alt.quotations)
I don't understand...
...the "civic pride" that cities have in their sports teams. Professional athletes are just mercenaries, and to tie a community's image and self-esteem to groups who peddle their services to the highest bidders seems to be a rather bizarre way to promote the value of a town.
The priorities are skewed. Soon, minimum wage workers won't be able to get to their jobs on nights and weekends because the public transportation system is woefully underfunded.
But that same transportation system has no trouble putting on extra routes and drivers to ferry people to two sports stadiums built with public funds- and against the public's will- for the benefit of its millionaire owners.
Sports "heroes" are inspirational? I'm far more impressed by the woman waiting for a bus in the dark cold of a Sunday morning to take her to her job cleaning hospital rooms, or the medical student on the ramen noodle diet to the library.
Too bad the library's not open on Sunday. No money.
In the immortal words of that great humanitarian, Art Modell: "The pride and presence of a professional football team is far more important than 30 libraries."
Sunday, January 16, 2005
One for my mom...
Sometimes I'm charmed by the fact that there are women with whom you can discuss the molecular theory of light all evening, and at the end they will ask you what is your birth sign.
A GW compilation
Bush is like McDonald's: pre-packaged, filled with empty calories
and controlled by corporate interests.
In the Clinton administration, we worried the President would open his zipper. In the Bush administration, we worry the President will open his mouth.
Bush is like Reagan and Quayle had a kid.
This is a guy who could not find oil in Texas.
He has achieved the unusual feat of being simultaneously sinister and ridiculous.
Bush is unusually incurious, abnormally unintelligent, amazingly inarticulate, fantastically uncultured, extraordinarily uneducated, and apparently quite proud of all these things.
Bush has surrounded himself with smart people the way a hole surrounds itself with a doughnut.
The mentally retarded are treated equally in Texas. Some are executed, some are elected.
Copyright © 1987-2024 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
The email@example.com e-mail address is now something other than firstname.lastname@example.org saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used email@example.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that firstname.lastname@example.org was no longer email@example.com but rather firstname.lastname@example.org which is longer than email@example.com and more letters to type than firstname.lastname@example.org and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than email@example.com but actually just as functional as firstname.lastname@example.org? I sent e-mails from the email@example.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used firstname.lastname@example.org in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the email@example.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which firstname.lastname@example.org was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for email@example.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that firstname.lastname@example.org no longer is the email@example.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. firstname.lastname@example.org. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...
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get kgb krap!