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ISSN: 1525-898X
Observations by and for the vaguely disenchanted by Kevin G. Barkes

 

Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.

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network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...

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Anniversary

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Requiem for a fictional Scotsman

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Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!

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Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon

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It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day

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A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City

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Da Burg Annat

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I Have Issues

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Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired

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At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh

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He knows if yinz is a jagoff

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Please support KGB Report by making your amazon.com purchases through our affiliate link:
 

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dcl dialogue online!

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no. we're not that kgb.

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KGB, CIA linked

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The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!

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Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution

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Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

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Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

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miscellany

Hard to describe.

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"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

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Our riveting and morally compelling...

Privacy statement

One of  52,045 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

	kgbreport.com Web

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(July 2000 and earlier)

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Thursday, January 29, 2004
posted by KGB at 12:06 PM (permalink)

Treguna, Mekoites, Tracorum, Satis Dee

In the 1971 Disney film Bedknobs and Broomsticks, a Mary Poppinsesque Angela Lansbury and associates used the pseudo-latin chant above to invoke a"substitutiary locomotion" spell. A Nazi invasion force was routed by a large collection of animated Scottish armor.

Turns out "real" magick was used to keep the Germans out of Britain.

Here's a bizarre little piece of work that contends Hitler never invaded England because of a "cone of power" directed at his mind by a group of British witches.

This is what happens when you make a typo in Google. I was actually looking for the Cone of Silence in the old TV show Get Smart:

Why was I searching for the Cone of Silence? Just never you mind.

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Wednesday, January 28, 2004
posted by KGB at 8:16 PM (permalink)

An ode to outsourcing

Once we built a network
Made it from
Your tax dollars and mine
Once we built a network
Now it's theirs
Buddy, can you spare a dime?

Once we built a Highway
Called the Net
Gigabytes down the line
Now it just runs one way -
Outta here
Buddy, can you spare a dime?

(by an anonymous poster on Dave Farber's Interesting People mailing list)

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posted by KGB at 1:18 AM (permalink)

It's nice to have a wide audience...

But I find this to be vaguely disturbing.

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Tuesday, January 27, 2004
posted by KGB at 5:08 PM (permalink)

New Mars photo!

(thanks to Linda Moskos.)

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Sunday, January 25, 2004
posted by KGB at 12:04 AM (permalink)

Real talent.

Nine months old, and our granddaughter Leanna can a) hold her own bottle while simultaneously b) touching her toes. I haven't been able to do that since 1957.

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Copyright © 1987-2024 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...