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ISSN: 1525-898X
Observations by and for the vaguely disenchanted by Kevin G. Barkes

 

Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.

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network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...

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Anniversary

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Requiem for a fictional Scotsman

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Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!

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Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon

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It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day

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A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City

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Da Burg Annat

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I Have Issues

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Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired

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At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh

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He knows if yinz is a jagoff

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Please support KGB Report by making your amazon.com purchases through our affiliate link:
 

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dcl dialogue online!

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no. we're not that kgb.

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KGB, CIA linked

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The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!

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Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution

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Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

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Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

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miscellany

Hard to describe.

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"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

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Our riveting and morally compelling...

Privacy statement

One of  52,041 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

	kgbreport.com Web

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(July 2000 and earlier)

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Saturday, May 03, 2003
posted by KGB at 1:43 PM (permalink)

Speaking of appropriate venues...

I no longer feel odd about having a telephone in the bathroom in my house back in Pittsburgh.

And would you really want to touch the keyboard?

From CNET.COM:

How far will MSN go to get new subscribers? Apparently to the portable potty at your local summer concert or festival.

MSN UK is creating what Microsoft calls the world's first Internet outhouse, or iLoo, complete with flat-screen plasma display, wireless keyboard and broadband access. MSN UK spokesman Matthew Whittingham described the portable toilet as the first "WWW.C," referring to the term W.C., or water closet.

"This is another demonstration of Microsoft moving into new product areas to expand its revenue base, " said IDC analyst Roger Kay. (Although some of us who have to work with their software on a daily basis can tell you Microsoft is already quite experienced producing sh*tty products.-KGB)

The iLoo isn't Microsoft's first attempt at a festival-oriented public PC. "We've had the world's first-ever cyber park bench we launched two years ago," Whittingham said. Like iLoo, the park bench served up Internet access.

The portable lavatory is being tested and will debut at festivals around Great Britain this summer. Microsoft plans to build a single prototype MSN iLoo that will travel the festival circuit, and may build more if the response to the pioneering potty warrants it, Whittingham said.

MSN UK is negotiating with toilet paper manufacturers for special rolls with Web addresses, or URLs, printed on them.

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Friday, May 02, 2003
posted by KGB at 10:30 PM (permalink)

Send in the Clown

Assuming the arrival of President Bush on the aircraft carrier Abraham Lincoln in a jet fighter indicates a new policy- using a mode of transportation appropriate to the destination venue- one can only hope the next time he addresses Congress he'll be pointed down Pennsylvania Avenue and shot out of a cannon.

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posted by KGB at 2:21 PM (permalink)

Top Dumb

Liked Dubya on the aircraft carrier? He has a long military history.

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Thursday, May 01, 2003
posted by KGB at 6:34 PM (permalink)

I'm sure they're a great company and all...

But I sure as hell would hate to be a high school football player arriving at the opposing team's field in a bus with this name plastered on the side.

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Sunday, April 27, 2003
posted by KGB at 12:01 PM (permalink)

Okay, so indulge me.

Is this some cute kid, or what?

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Copyright © 1987-2024 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...