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ISSN: 1525-898X
Observations by and for the vaguely disenchanted by Kevin G. Barkes

 

Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.

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network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...

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Anniversary

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Requiem for a fictional Scotsman

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Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!

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Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon

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It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day

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A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City

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Da Burg Annat

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I Have Issues

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Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired

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At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh

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He knows if yinz is a jagoff

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Please support KGB Report by making your amazon.com purchases through our affiliate link:
 

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dcl dialogue online!

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no. we're not that kgb.

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KGB, CIA linked

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The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!

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Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution

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Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

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Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

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miscellany

Hard to describe.

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"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

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Our riveting and morally compelling...

Privacy statement

One of  52,041 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

	kgbreport.com Web

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(July 2000 and earlier)

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Friday, January 17, 2003
posted by KGB at 8:19 AM (permalink)

Organization

By doing just a little every day, you can gradually let the task totally overwhelm you.~Unknown

In an effort to get things back to normal after last week's illness and laptop crash, I've been systematically budgeting one-hour time slices in order to catch up with everything that I need to do.

This approach would be ideal if there were 32 hours in a day. Since there aren't, I've been falling behind a day every day this week.

About the only thing I've managed to keep current is the daily National Temperature Index. The other major accomplishment was the arrival and installation in my cube at the office of the Time Machine (click here and scroll down one article), which afforded me with the opportunity to invite co-workers into my cube to "watch my balls drop".

I'm planning on spending the weekend getting everything working. Check back on Monday.

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Monday, January 13, 2003
posted by KGB at 11:54 PM (permalink)

Apologies to Connected; Curses to Microsoft

The Weekend Disaster which eventually resulted in the total reinstallation of Windows and a disk reformat could have been a lot worse.

Turns out I couldn't get into Connected's data centers via the net because of some arcane Windows configuration problem which screwed up various network settings.

The HTTP (web) thingie was working, but that was it. Mail, ftp, all other protocols were about as communicative as Dubya.

I looked up my problem on Microsoft's web site. The solution was to reinstall the operating system, which I did. The machine booted, displayed the Windows logo, then immediately went into irreversible black screen of death mode.

I eventually had to reinstall everything, and this is where Connected really came through. Once I was able to log on to the backup service, I transferred nearly 14,000 files (a little over two gigabytes) in about four hours. Another four hours reinstalling software from setup directories restored to the D: drive, an hour finding license keys, and the old laptop had about 90% of its functionality restored. No critical data was lost.

That was after the four hours I spent downloading and installing all the service packs and updates for the operating system, Internet Explorer and Microsoft Office. Thank God I have a broadband connection to the net. With a dial-up line it would have taken days to restore everything. It's enough to make you buy a herd of sheep and move to Montana. Wait... now I'm starting to think like Microsoft. Move to Montana first, then buy the sheep.

On the plus side, the machine runs much faster now. I've eliminated tons of dead directories and files that were hanging around from bad installs, and cut the number of running processes by about 30%, with a commensurate increase in free memory.

Truth be told, it's a good idea to reinstall Windows every year or so to clean out the gunk and correct the things that are out of whack.

Ah, wouldn't that be a great way to deal with things:

What's wrong, sir?

My computer is out of whack.

Lucky for you sir, we have a special on whack today. You can get a two-CD set of whack for only fifty bucks.

Yeah, but I'll bet you that fifty that the CD is copy-protected.

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Copyright © 1987-2024 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...