Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.

network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...


Requiem for a fictional Scotsman

Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!

Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon

It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day

A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City

Da Burg Annat

I Have Issues

Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired

At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh

He knows if yinz is a jagoff

Please support KGB Report by making your purchases through our affiliate link:

dcl dialogue online!

I Love DCL

no. we're not that kgb.

Cool Spinny Thingy!

KGB, CIA linked

The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!

Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution

Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

Geek of the Week

Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

Cruel Site of the Day (7/15/2000)


Hard to describe.

"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

USA Today Hotsite

Our riveting and morally compelling...

Privacy statement

One of  51,895 random quotes. Please CTRL-F5 to refresh the page.

Google Web

(July 2000 and earlier)

Thursday, January 02, 2003

To Cluelessly Go Where Many Have Gone Before

I'm somewhat surprised that no one has made the connection between the half-baked Raelians and Star Trek. Indeed, I'm even more surprised the lawyers over at Paramount haven't sued this outfit into oblivion for bald-faced plagiarism.

Claude Vorilhon, a French journalist, says he was approached in 1973 by a flying saucer containing your standard ET-type aliens called Elohim, who had genetically engineered all life on earth and planted it here 25,000 years ago.

The Elohim also claimed Vorilhon's mother had been inpregnated by one of their ilk (proving that earth girls are easy), and that his real name was "Rael."

That this alien race remained undocumented all this time could be attributed to a mistranslation of Genesis: what some dolt interpreted as a being in heaven should have been read as beings from the stars.

Right about now the alarm bells should be going off for all original series Trekkers.

Rael is a character from the third season episode "Wink of an Eye"

The of idea extraterrestrials seeding the galaxy with humanoid life forms has been around for quite a while, but was also featured in another third season Star Trek epsiode, The Paradise Syndrome.

And the concept of a belief system based upon misinterpretation of a "sacred" script is straight from the second season episode The Omega Glory.

It's unfortunate that Claude wasn't a true Trekker. All of the Trek series and films have illustrated the dangers associated with eugenics, genetic engineering and the misapplication of technology.

Raelians believe immortality can be achieved by creating a clone of an individual and transplanting the person's brain into the clone.

This seems highly unlikely. Still, the Raelians can take some comfort from John Kenneth Galbraith, who observed that "If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error."

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    


Monday, December 30, 2002

As long as we have each other, we'll never run out of problems.

Still under the weather. I wonder if there's some deep psychological cause why I develop the creeping blorch whenever I come home to Pittsburgh.

Nah. Probably just Too Much of a Good Thing.

Speaking of which, if you work in one of those places that puts motivational posters on the walls to inspire you to Be The Best You Can Be, you must check out, a lovely island of sanity in the great sea of motivational blather.

And remember, there is no "i" in Team, but there's a "u" in Sucker.

 Subscribe in a reader    [Home]     [Commentwear]     [Comment]    


Copyright © 1987-2024 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The e-mail address is now something other than saga. used to be until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up and adopting created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the domain name in 1993, and had since that time used as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that was no longer but rather which is longer than and more letters to type than and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than but actually just as functional as I sent e-mails from the address to just about everybody I knew who had used in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that no longer is the they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...


Crystal Methodist

Laugh while you can, monkey-boy

I am a professional. Do not try this at home.

I canna change the laws of physics

As a matter of fact, I *am* the boss of you.
(as a matter of fact, i AM the boss of you.)

Truly great madness cannot be achieved without signficant intelligence

I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Left wing liberal nut job

Flies spread disease. Keep yours zipped.

Eff the ineffable, scrute the inscrutable.

If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.

If evolution is just a theory, why am I surrounded by monkeys?

Nutrition makes me puke

Feral Geek

eat wisely

Dyslexics have more fnu!

It's here!

Eff and Scrute

440 pages, over 11,000 quotations!

Eff the Ineffable, Scrute the Inscrutable

get kgb krap!

KGB Shirt