Recent late-night political jokes, from Daniel Kurtzman's Political Humor Blog on About.com.
Did you see that video where a crying baby is handed to President Obama?
As soon as the president holds the baby it stops crying. Do you know how
rare that is these days; that a politician is handed a baby from a crowd
and it's not his?
-Jay Leno
(YouTube video: Barack Obama, The Baby Whisperer)
That's pretty amazing. The baby stopped crying as soon as the president
held it. Obama should try that with John Boehner.
-Jay Leno
Sarah Palin has canceled the rest of her bus trip around America. She
had to quit before she got to Mount Rushmore and somebody asked her to
name the Presidents.
-Jay Leno
John McCain made his claim that illegal immigrants started the Arizona
wildfires without doing his research. The last time he did that we got
Sarah Palin.
-Jay Leno
It has now been revealed that Newt Gingrich had a second line of credit
at Tiffany's for up to a million dollars. That sounds like a lot until
you remember that Congress has a line of credit with China for up to
$14.3 trillion.
-Jay Leno
More bad news for Newt Gingrich. One week after his campaign staff quit,
his campaign finance team quit. In fact, Newt was going to pull out of
the race, but today the guy who writes his concession speeches quit.
-Jay
Leno
According to new polls, 66 percent of Americans believe the country is
headed in the wrong direction. But the good news is, gas is so expensive
and traffic is so bad that we won't get there for a long time.
-Jay
Leno
Today Sarah Palin canceled her bus tour, reportedly canceling dates in
Iowa, South Carolina, and New Hampshire. When asked why, Palin answered:
'It turns out those places are nowhere near each other.'
-Conan
O'Brien
In a new videotape message, Texas Gov. Rick Perry urges his supporters
to follow him on 'Tweeter.' After hearing about it, John McCain laughed
and said, 'What an idiot! It's 'The Tweeter.'
-Conan O'Brien
Newt Gingrich bragged on his third wife, saying, 'She plays the French
horn.' Then things got awkward when he added, 'If you know what I mean.'
-Conan
O'Brien
Newt Gingrich announced he was running for president. His top advisers
quit, and then his campaign fundraisers all quit. Newt was thinking, 'I
don't need this, I'll just put it all on my Tiffany's credit card.'
-David
Letterman
New Republican Presidential candidate Jon Huntsman is fluent in Chinese.
In a short period of time the Republicans have come quite a long way.
The last Republican president wasn't even fluent in English.
-David
Letterman
Bristol Palin released her much-anticipated memoir called 'Not Afraid of
Life: My Journey So Far.' Bristol said that Levi Johnston cheated on her
but then made it up to her by buying designer rain boots. Things are
different up there, I guess.
-Jimmy Kimmel
President Obama will be in New York tomorrow night for a fundraiser at
the Broadway musical 'Sister Act.' Meanwhile, Sarah Palin will be in
town to do some hunting at 'The Lion King.'
-Jimmy Fallon
New York Gov. Andy Cuomo will hold a special election on September 13 to
replace Anthony Weiner. Cuomo said, 'Anyone interested in the job should
e-mail me at... actually, you'd just better call.'
-Jimmy Fallon
Categories: Political Jokes of the Week, Video, YouTube
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