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Political Jokes of the week
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Published Friday, January 21, 2011 @ 10:31 AM EST
Jan 21 2011

The week's best late-night political jokes, from Daniel Kurtzman's Political Humor Blog on About.Com.

The President of China is in Washington. It's a bit like when you're into your bookie for more than you can afford, and he stops by the house to say hello.
-Jimmy Kimmel

The White House held a state dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao. President Obama wore a traditional Chinese-made garment: a pair of Nikes.
-Jay Leno

The Republican-controlled House voted to repeal the healthcare bill. If that goes well, they'll see what they can do about this whole 'women voting' thing.
-Conan O'Brien

Good news tonight. The chief victim of that shooting in Tucson is sitting upright and talking. (On screen: Sarah Palin on Fox News)
-Jon Stewart

Doctors say Dick Cheney may need a heart transplant, but Cheney isn't worried. He's already picked out a hunting buddy.
-David Letterman

Dick Cheney predicts that President Obama will only last one term. This is coming from the same guy that predicted weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.
-David Letterman

President Obama held a state dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao. The world leader with the funny name, who grew up in Asia, said he enjoyed meeting President Hu.
-Conan O'Brien

Obama and Hu had a private dinner the night before. When Obama tried to pick up the check, Hu said, 'Your money is no good here.' Obama laughed, and Hu said, 'No, really, your money is no good.'
-Jay Leno

There was a really awkward moment when the Chinese president met President Obama's daughters and asked them, 'So what factories do you kids work at?'
-Jay Leno

Chinese President Hu Jintao visited the White House. Fox News said it was a gathering of the world's most powerful communist -- and the president of China.
-Craig Ferguson

After surprise visits to Afghanistan and Pakistan, Vice President Joe Biden made a surprise visit to Iraq yesterday. Is it me, or is he just lost in that area?
-Jimmy Fallon

Arnold Schwarzenegger said being Governor of California cost him at least 200 million dollars in lost movie roles. Moviegoers everywhere said, 'Totally worth it.'
-Conan O'Brien

Arnold Schwarzenegger says he's considering doing a movie in which he would play a Nazi. He says that after being governor of California, he's looking for a job that will make people hate him less.
-Conan O'Brien


Categories: Jon Stewart


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