I have learned that saying “no” is the password to the next level.
-Alvin
Williams
True, everyone lies, but there's a difference between “No, those pants
don't make your ass look fat” and “No, there's nothing incriminating in
those unreleased tax returns.”
-Kevin G. Barkes
Obama and Romney should open the next debate with a really
well-rehearsed rendition of that “God, I Hope I Get It” song from A
Chorus Line.
-Seth McFarland
GOP blaming Obama for the slow recovery is like John Wilkes Booth
blaming Lincoln for missing the second act of the play.
-John
Fugelsang
The people who gloated over the landslide defeat of George McGovern in
1972 seem to have forgotten its consequences.
-Kevin G. Barkes
It occurs to me that if another country's candidate had financial
interest in voting machines, we'd be lecturing them on sanctity of
voting.
-Rose Auerbach
For the record, nobody's actually “blaming Bush.” They're blaming Bush
policies. “Blaming Bush” implies he was in charge.
-John
Fugelsang
I'm thinking of becoming a motivational speaker. But I'm not sure.
Should I? Maybe yes, maybe no. Undecided. Kinda thinking about it.
-Steve
Martin
You can tell a person is a Republican when they refer to the Democratic
Party as the Democrat Party. You can tell a person is a Democrat when
he's speaking very slowly to a Republican.
-Kevin G. Barkes
Maybe I'm a dreamer, but I wish mental health care were as easy to get
as, say, a gun.
-Andy Borowitz
The creator of Mad Libs died. His friends described him as a warm
and pulpy man who loved his wife and pelicans. He will be deeply pooped.
-John
McNamee
Categories: Alvin Williams, Andy Borowitz, John Fugelsang, John McNamee, KGB Opinion, Observations, Rose Auerbach, Seth McFarlane, Steve Martin
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