From social media, collected in real time during the debate:
Elayne Boosler:
“Boca Raton.” Mouth of the Rat. Just sayin'.
Maybe Mitt could fire Iran.
Mitt: “Gender equality for the middle east.” But not for American women.
Wait. Is this a rerun?
He's gonna ask his parents for the money.
Blame the tumult of the middle east on Obama, because it started only
four years ago.
Tumult, that's three! Can meshuga be far behind?
We owe China billions. They've kept us afloat. Let's threaten them!
Mali just declared war on Appleton Wisconsin.
Forget the flag pins. They should have worn squirting carnations.
---------
Albert Brooks:
Romney won the coin toss so the line between them is white.
Romney can see Russia from two of his houses.
Even Syria is bored with this debate.
Romney's expression says “The afterlife is going to be so tough for you.”
The Pentagon just turned to Monday Night Football.
A half hour in. What have we learned? They both don't like war and like
peace. Wow.
I don't know who's winning but Iran has just gone to Def Con 4.
Okay. We're back home again. They couldn't talk foreign affairs for more
than 30 minutes. That scares me.
Romney keeps bragging about the Olympics. I saw him. His figure skating
was embarrassing.
This Christmas Neiman Marcus is selling maps without Israel.
Get tough on China. Make Walmart close at six.
If Romney sweats any more, I get a royalty.
Romney will call China a currency manipulator. China will laugh and sell
him another flag pin.
Romney needs a binder full of kleenex.
---------
John Fugelsang:
It's unfair to say Mitt Romney is politicizing the tragedy of Benghazi
when he's actually exploiting it.
“The only way to deal with your enemy is to make him your friend.”
Abraham Lincoln, appeaser.
“We can't kill our way out”- Mitt Romney. “We need to kill them.”- Mitt
Romney, two minutes later
“We have to help these nations build civil societies”- Mitt Romney,
previously opposed to Nation Building.
If Iran develops a nuclear weapon Romney/Ryan would respond with the
strongest possible tax cuts.
Barack Obama just said the debate table was round & Mitt Romney said
it's actually flat.
Mitt Romney will stand up to Iran, Syria & Putin and is also afraid to
go on The View.
”Attacking me is not an agenda“ Mitt Romney, whose foreign policy plan
has consisted of attacking the president on Benghazi.
Romney strongly supports gender equality in middle east; and will get
back to you with his opinion on Lily Ledbetter act here.
It's fitting that Mitt Romney resembles Reed Richards from Fantastic
Four as his magic power is superhuman stretching.
Mitt just said we should've been more involved in Syria & also been less
involved. Those Bush aides were worth every penny.
Mitt Romney believes our government has to solve problems in Syria while
letting the Free Market solve problems here.
Romney is clearly winning on making the foreign policy debate not about
foreign policy
Mitt Romney just found a way to bash teachers' unions during a foreign
policy debate.
I want Bob Schieffer to grab Romney by the lapels and scream “WHERE'S
THE MONEY, LEBOWSKI?!”
Mitt wants to repeal Obamacare and increase the Pentagon budget to
defend Israel's right to universal (health) care.
Mitt just mentioned how he balanced the budget for the Olympics, leaving
out the millions in government earmarks that balanced it.
Non millionaires who voted for Bush and support Romney deserve
presidents like Bush and Romney.
Hey, Mitt- If you hate our tax system and want a religious conservative
government with no abortion or gay marriage, Iran is waiting for you.
Mitt Romney is ahead on impersonating Albert Brooks' flop sweat from Broadcast
News.
“The tightest sanctions must be tightened.”- Mitt Romney. He said that.
Obama took out bin Laden but wait til President Romney takes out Oscar
the Grouch
Somewhere in Hell Richard Nixon is embarrassed over Mitt Romney debate
sweat
GOP blaming Obama for the slow recovery is like Lucy blaming Charlie
Brown for missing the football.
---------
Andy Borowitz:
Romney: “No one has more experience abroad than my money.”
Romney: “I would bring all female troops home in time to cook dinner.”
Both candidates' use of the numbers 1 through 5 underscores the
importance of keeping Sesame Street.
If he loses, Mitt Romney has a bright future as a Clipart character.
Romney: “Across the Middle East, women are being kept in binders.”
When Romney is listening he looks exactly like my dad did when I told
him a lie.
We are now discussing the most pressing foreign policy issue facing
America today, the reading tests of fourth graders.
Romney: “There's no place more important to me than Israel except Ohio.”
Romney: “If the Prime Minister of Israel called me, I would do what I do
whenever someone talks to me: interrupt him.”
Romney: “Not only do I believe in drones, I am one.”
Romney: “The greatest threat to the world is nuclear powered women.”
---------
Beachwood Reporter
Suddenly every schmo on Twitter is a foreign policy expert.
“That's a perfect segue into the next question which neither of you will
answer.”
“And now, a ridiculous question that allows each of you to dispense
talking points to your base.
---------
Bill Maher:
Trouble already: Mitt says he wants to impose sanctions on ”Romnesia“.
“Kill our way out of this mess” is the theme of every American movie not
about talking animals or weddings.
Aside from talking points, Mitt doesn't know his Assad from a hole in
the ground.
Mitt, you do know that most of America thinks Mali is one of Obama's
daughters, right?
It's good they agree armed Americans should be involved with everyone,
everywhere. We loved armed intervention like Paula Dean loves butter.
Aside from talking points, Mitt doesn't know his Assad from a hole in
the ground
Mitt's entire debate strategy: What he just said, but from a white guy.
That's an amazingly specific number Mitt keeps pulling out of his ass,
12 million new jobs. But fellas, this is the foreign policy debate!
Jobs, teachers, education - gentlemen, please, can we get back to
killing foreigners?
Bob Scheiffer, could you ask about what's IN the military budget? If
people knew specifics,”I wouldn't cut nuttin'” wouldn't sound so good
I like hearing Mitt say how great he was for Massachusetts, the state
that will never, ever, ever vote for him.
I can't be the only one who's surprised to find out Buster Posey is a
white guy. Sorry, flipped to the game.
I've seen wider ideological differences between Jehovah's Witnesses.
Oh no he din't- Romney said his ultimate BubbleFact, “Apology Tour”
right in front of the guy who NEVER WENT ON ONE.
To clarify, Mitt is for moving heaven and earth, but only in regards to
mining.
You're losing, Mitt- bring up the fact that we have fewer knives and
rocks than we did during the French and Indian War.
Shorter version of Romney: Me strong. Obama weak. Hulk smash.
OK Mitt, one more try: we have fewer catapults and barrels of boiling
oil than we had in the crusades.
First debate, all agreed, Obama lost; second one, i say he won, but
Romney not trounced. But this one? Only bubbledwellers can say Mitt won
Mitt keeps taking issue with being criticized tonight - did they tell
him this is a debate?
OK, one last try: We have fewer Andrews Sisters and Ritz Brothers than
we did in 1944. So glad we're done with THAT!
---------
Wonkette:
“The audience has taken a vow of silence.” But not celibacy, one hopes.
We are debating during the 50th anniversary of the Cuban Missile Crisis.
This is very important, because we are painfully aware that neither of
these men is a Jack Kennedy.
Cutting Obamacare, which the CBO has projected will reduce the deficit,
will save money, because MAGIC.
Mitt is in favor of crippling sanctions like the ones Barry has put in
place. If elected, he will have the Doctor take him back to the Bush
administration to put them in place sooner, and more crippling-er.
Mittens, again with the “tumult.” Why does it sound like Yiddish when he
says “tumult”?
You know all about shipping jobs overseas, don’t you Governor? BOOM!
Mitt is pretending that he can feel empathy... Brent Spiner pulled this
off a lot more convincingly.
---------
Various fact checkers:
Politifact rated the claim that the U.S. Navy, U.S. Air Force are
smaller than in 1917 and 1947 “pants on fire.”
Romney wants to add $2 trillion to defense that it didn't ask for it.
True.
Obama 'promised' 5.4 percent unemployment? Mostly False.
---------
The Onion:
Romney Pledges To Replace All Foreign Policy With Jobs Right Here In
America
Categories:
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Bill Maher,
Elayne Boosler,
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