Anyone informed that the universe is expanding and contracting in
pulsations of eighty billion years has a right to ask, What's in it for
me?
-Peter De Vries
Applications programming is a race between software engineers, who
strive to produce idiot-proof programs, and the universe which strives
to produce bigger idiots. So far the Universe is winning.
-Rich
Cook
Are we alone in an uncaring universe, or is God some kind of wiseguy?
-Matt
Groening
Conservatism is less a set of ideas than it is a pathological distemper,
a militant anger over the fact that the universe is not closed and life
is not static.
-Bill Moyers
Do it for yourself. The universe will be around to collect its cut later.
-Lois
McMaster Bujold
Every time we start thinking we're the center of the universe, the
universe turns around and says with a slightly distracted air, 'I'm
sorry. What'd you say your name was again?'
-Margaret Maron
God could create the universe in six days because he didn't have to make
it backward-compatible.
-Unattributed
How could you say the best form of government is a republic if you think
the universe is a monarchy?
-Alan Watts
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
-Mel Brooks
I do not believe in the God of theology who rewards good and punishes
evil. My God created laws that take care of that. His universe is not
ruled by wishful thinking, but by immutable laws.
-Albert Einstein
I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too
intelligent to come here.
-Arthur C. Clarke
I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding
a charge.
-Edward Chilton
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to
say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
-George
Carlin
If you don't like it, go somewhere else, to another universe where the
rules are simpler.
-Richard P. Feynman
If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the
universe.
-Carl Sagan
It is better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in
delusion, however reassuring.
-Carl Sagan
Just because some of us can read and write and do a little math, that
doesn't mean we deserve to conquer the Universe.
-Kurt Vonnegut,
Jr.
My universe is my eyes and my ears. Anything else is hearsay.
-Douglas
Adams
Our Universe is simply one of those things which happen from time to
time.
-Edward P. Tryon
Physics is the universe's operating system.
-Steven R. Garman
Sometimes I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
-Unattributed
The basic laws of the universe are simple, but because our senses are
limited, we can't grasp them. There is a pattern in creation.
-Albert
Einstein
The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base
ten counting system and likes round numbers.
-Scott Adams
The most terrifying fact about the universe is not that it is hostile
but that it is indifferent.
-Stanley Kubrick
The spirit of the universe is at once creative and destructive- it
creates while it destroys and destroys while it creates, and therefore
it remains to us a riddle.
-Albert Schweitzer
The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
-Harlan
Ellison
The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen, and quotes
about hydrogen and stupidity.
-John Alejandro King (The Covert
Comic)
The universe considers me its personal cat toy.
-J. Michael
Straczynski
The universe did not invent justice. Man did. Unfortunately, man must
reside in the universe.
-Roger Zelazny
The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to
grow sharper.
-Eden Phillpotts
The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination. But the
combination is locked up in the safe.
-Peter De Vries
The universe is made of stories, not atoms.
-Muriel Rukeyser
The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind- a pretty
uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment
on a house.
-Woody Allen
The universe is mostly empty space, and so is your job.
-Scott
Adams
The universe must be full of voices, calling from star to star in a
myriad tongues. One day we shall join that cosmic conversation.
-Arthur
C. Clarke
The universe will reward you for taking risks on its behalf.
-Shakti
Gawain
There are many aspects of the universe that still cannot be explained
satisfactorily by science; but ignorance only implies ignorance that may
someday be conquered. To surrender to ignorance and call it God has
always been premature, and it remains premature today.
-Isaac
Asimov
There is a coherent plan in the universe, though I don't know what it's
a plan for.
-Fred Hoyle
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a
longer shelf life.
-Frank Zappa
There is no such thing as luck; there is only adequate or inadequate
preparation to cope with a statistical universe.
-Robert A.
Heinlein
There was no 'before' the beginning of our universe, because once upon a
time there was no time.
-John B. Barrow
Two possibilities exist: Either we are alone in the Universe or we are
not. Both are equally terrifying.
-Arthur C. Clarke
We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very
average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us
something very special.
-Stephen Hawking
We do not have to visit a madhouse to find distorted minds; our planet
is the mental institution of the universe.
-Johann Wolfgang von
Goethe
You find out that the universe is a system that creeps up on itself and
says 'Boo!' and then laughs at itself for jumping.
-Alan Watts
-----
(March 14 is also the birthday of Albert Einstein.)
Categories: Quotes of the day, Quotes on a topic, The Universe
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