"I've come back so many times. Someone once told me that after World War III, the only things that will still be around are cockroaches and Cher."
-Cher (Cher is 75 today. Born Cherilyn Sarkisian on May 20, 1946)
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On this date in 2015, David Letterman, after 33 years on late night, hosts the "Late Show with David Letterman" for the last time.
House approves January 6 commission over GOP objections. Lawmakers passed the bill in a 252-175 vote, with 35 Republicans joining all Democrats in support. Of course, unless ten GOP senators go along, it's an exercise in futility.
Pittsburgh's Charles Grodin (April 21, 1935 – May 18, 2021) was valedictorian of his class at Peabody High School and was elected class president all four years. An accomplished actor, I remember him mainly from his many appearances as a talk show guest with an attitude:
John William "Johnny" Carson (October 23, 1925 - January 23, 2005) was
an American television host and comedian, known for thirty years as host
of The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962–1992). Carson
received six Emmy Awards, the Governor's Award, and a 1985 Peabody
Award. He was inducted into the Television Academy Hall of Fame in 1987.
Johnny Carson was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1992 and
received a Kennedy Center Honor in 1993. Although his show was already
successful by the end of the 1960s, during the 1970s Carson became an
American icon and remained so until his retirement in 1992. (Click
here for full Wikipedia article)
-----
An optimist is an accordion player with a beeper.
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank
robbery has just taken place.
Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't
have to impress people you wish were dead.
Democracy is people of all races, colors, and creeds united by a single
dream: to get rich and move to the suburbs away from people of all
races, colors, and creeds.
Democracy is the eagle on the back of a dollar bill, with 13 arrows in
one claw, 13 leaves on a branch, 13 tail feathers, and 13 stars over its
head. This signifies that when the white man came to this country, it
was bad luck for the Indians, bad luck for the trees, bad luck for the
wildlife, and lights out for the American eagle.
Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them
something to hold onto- usually a mop or a leaf blower.
Democracy means free television; not good television, but free.
Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who
doesn't grow up can be vice president.
Did you know Richard Nixon is the only president whose formal portrait
was painted by a police sketch artist?
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was
healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
I now believe in reincarnation. Tonight's monologue is going to come
back as a dog.
I started in a gaseous state and then I cooled. (On how he became a
star.)
I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover
Spam.
If you must smoke, don't do it orally.
In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.
Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more
willing to die.
Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.
New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time,
most unsolved.
Only lie about the future. (to politicians)
People pay more to be entertained that educated.
Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right
place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important
question is: "Are your ready?"
The best things in life are free. And the cheesiest things in life are
free with a paid subscription to Sports Illustrated.
The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about
money.
We're doing great in Malibu. The mudslides put out the fires.
Published Tuesday, October 23, 2012 @ 12:29 AM EDT
Oct232012
John William “Johnny” Carson (October 23, 1925 - January 23, 2005) was
an American television host and comedian, known for 30 years as host of The
Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962–1992). Carson received six
Emmy Awards, the Governor Award, and a 1985 Peabody Award. He was
inducted into the Television Academy Hall of Fame in 1987. Johnny Carson
was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1992 and received a
Kennedy Center Honor in 1993. Although his show was already successful
by the end of the 1960s, during the 1970s Carson became an American icon
and remained so until his retirement in 1992. Click
for full article.
(A portion of David Letterman's 2005 tribute show for Johnny Carson.)
One of Carson's funniest routines was Carnac the Magnificent, an
alleged psychic who would hold to his head a sealed envelope, divine and
announce the answer, then open the envelope and read the question. He
adapted the bit from routines previously performed by Steve Allen and
Ernie Kovacs, but Carson perfected the format.
Herewith are some of the more memorable Carnac gags. For the complete
list, go to the source at www.nightscribe.com,
But be certain to watch the video at the end...
A: Peter Pan. Q: What do you use to fry a peter?
A: Mount Baldy. Q: How do you play piggyback with Telly Savales?
A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G. Q: What were some of the earlier forms of
Preparation H?
A: Clean air, a virgin and a gas station open on Sunday. Q: Name
three things you won't find in Los Angeles.
A: Black and white and twenty feet tall. Q: Describe Sister Mary Kong.
A: An unmarried woman. Q: What was Elizabeth Taylor between 3 and 5
pm on June 1, 1952?
A: Cyclone. Q: What do call the clone of a guy named Cy?
A: ”Hi diddly dee.“ Q: How do you say "Good morning" to
your diddly dee?
A: The Orient express. Q: What is a drink made with soy sauce and
prune juice?
A: Gatorade. Q: What does an alligator get on welfare?
A: Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. Q: What's the best thing
to do if you swallow a hand grenade?
A: Until he gets caught. Q: How long does a United States Congressman
serve?
A: Kumquat. Q: What do you say when calling your quat?
A: Defrost. Q: On a cold morning, what forms on de-grass?
A: Gunga din. Q: What do you hear when you put an amplifier in your
gunga?
A: Igloo. Q: What do you use to keep your ig from falling off?
A: Shoo be doo be doo. Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a
shoo be doo be?
A: Trapper John. Q: What do you call an outhouse built on quicksand?
A: Rub-a-dub-dub. Q: What does a masseuse do to your dub-dub?
A: Zeppo Marx. Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your
Zeppo?
A: Touchback. Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl
touches you?
A: The big ten. Q: Describe the five finalists in the Miss Universe
contest.
A: All the President's Men. Q: Who won't be let out to see the
picture?
A: Bifocal. Q: Name a focal that goes both ways.
A: Timbuktu. Q: What comes after Timbuk one?
A: R-O-L-A-I-D-S. Q: How does a stupid person spell “backgammon?”
A: Jello and “Charlie's Angels.” Q: What looks delicious,
quivers all over and can't talk?
A: The Loch Ness Monster. Q: Who will they find sooner than Jimmy
Hoffa?
A: The diamond lane. Q: What does Zsa Zsa Gabor call the center of a
church?
A: A nine foot base with two feet of powder. Q: Describe Mick
Jagger's nose.
A: Putting on the dog. Q: What do you call dressing up as a tree?
A: "Yes man." Q: What should you answer to everything
George Foreman says?
A: You asked for it. Q: How do you get it?
A: Big Ben, Joe Namath and the candidates' campaign promises. Q: Name
a clock, a jock and a crock.
... and late night television's never been the same. Johnny Carson's
last day as host of The Tonight Show. The video below is actually
from the night before, but it's the one most people as Johnny's official
"farewell."
(YouTube video. From the description: Bette Midler singing "One For
My Baby (And One For The Road)" on Johnny Carson's final show with guest
appearances (1992). On May 21, 1992, the eve of Johnny Carson's last
show, he hosted his final guests, Robin Williams and Bette Midler. It
was also the final show before a regular studio audience; fans, who had
been camping out to get into the final shows, waited up to 35 hours to
get into this one. Once underway, the atmosphere was electric and Carson
was greeted with a sustained, two-minute ovation at the start. Williams
displayed an especially uninhibited take on his trademark manic energy
and stream-of-consciousness lunacy. Midler, in contrast, found the
emotional vein of the farewell. When the conversation turned to Johnny's
favorite songs- "I'll Be Seeing You" and "Here's That Rainy Day" --
Midler mentioned she knew a chorus of the latter. She began singing the
song, and after the first line, Carson joined in and turned it into an
impromptu duet. Midler finished her appearance from center stage, where
she slowly sang the pop standard "One for My Baby (and One More for the
Road)". Carson became unexpectedly tearful, and a shot of the two of
them was captured by a camera angle from across the set which had never
been used before. The audience became tearful as well, and called the
three performers out for a second bow after the show completed. This
penultimate show was immediately recognized as a television classic, and
Midler would consider it one of the most emotional moments of her life
and would win an Emmy Award for her role in it.)
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Current weather from my backyard in South Park, PA.
