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Hyopcrisy
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Published Thursday, June 23, 2016 @ 8:12 AM EDT
Jun 23 2016


Categories: Children, Congress, Hypocrisy, Paul Ryan, Republicans


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On tolerance and intolerance...
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Published Friday, July 18, 2014 @ 7:39 PM EDT
Jul 18 2014

A man who is convinced of the truth of his religion is indeed never tolerant.
-Albert Einstein

Because we have sought to cover up past evil, though it still persists, we have been powerless to check the new evil of today. Evil unchecked grows, Evil tolerated poisons the whole system.
-Jawaharlal Nehru

Clever men will recognize and tolerate nothing but cleverness; every authority rouses their ridicule, every superstition amuses them, every convention moves them to contradiction.
-Henri Frédéric Amiel

Endurance is not toleration.
-Unattributed

History balances the frustration of 'how far we have to go' with the satisfaction of 'how far we have come.' It teaches us tolerance for the human shortcomings and imperfections which are not uniquely of our generation, but of all time.
-Lewis F. Powell, Jr.

I believe that the fundamental alternative for man is the choice between 'life' and 'death;' between creativity and destructive violence; between reality and illusions; between objectivity and intolerance; between brotherhood-independence and dominance- submission.
-Erich Fromm

I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind, yet strangely, I am ungrateful to those teachers.
-Kahlil Gibran

I have seen great intolerance shown in support of tolerance.
-Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I have zero tolerance for self-inflicted drama.
-Tina Roth Eisenberg

I respect those who resist me; but I cannot tolerate them.
-Charles de Gaulle

If it was necessary to tolerate in other people everything one permits in oneself, life would be unbearable.
-Georges Courteline

Intolerance of ambiguity is the mark of an authoritarian personality.
-Theodor W. Adorno

It is our utopias that make the world tolerable to us: the cities and mansions that people dream of are those in which they finally live.
-Lewis Mumford

It's a stupid word... tolerance.
-Phyllis Schlafly

Lying is an indispensable part of making life tolerable.
-Bergen Evans

Moral certainty is always a sign of cultural inferiority. The more uncivilized the man, the surer he is that he knows precisely what is right and what is wrong. All human progress, even in morals, has been the work of men who have doubted the current moral values, not of men who have whooped them up and tried to enforce them. The truly civilized man is always skeptical and tolerant, in this field as in all others. His culture is based on 'I am not too sure.'
-H.L. Mencken

New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
-James Agate

No man has a right in America to treat any other man 'tolerantly,' for tolerance is the assumption of superiority.
-Wendell Willkie

Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth.
-Rex Stout

Nothing makes you more tolerant of a neighbor's noisy party than being there.
-Franklin P. Adams

Our universities are so determined to impose tolerance that they'll expel you for saying what you think and never notice the irony.
-John Perry Barlow

Rooted in freedom, bonded in the fellowship of danger, sharing everywhere a common human blood, we declare again that all men are brothers, and that mutual tolerance is the price of liberty.
-Will Durant

Southerners have a genius for psychological alchemy. If something intolerable simply cannot be changed, driven away or shot they will not only tolerate it but take pride in it as well.
-Florence King

Stop tolerating in your leaders what you would not tolerate in your friends.
-Michael Ventura

The bleak fact is that new tolerances often resemble the old intolerances. In many instances, bitterness over having been 'the oppressed' seems to be little more than jealousy over not having been the oppressor.
-Jim Goad

The evils of government are directly proportional to the tolerance of the people.
-Frank Kent

The First Amendment is often inconvenient. But that is besides the point. Inconvenience does not absolve the government of its obligation to tolerate speech.
-Anthony Kennedy

The highest result of education is tolerance.
-Helen Keller

The idea that horrors are required to give zest to life and interest to art is the idea of savages, men of no experience worth mentioning, and of merely servile, limited sensibilities. Don't tolerate it.
-George Santayana

The most intolerable pain is produced by prolonging the keenest pleasure.
-George Bernard Shaw

The perception of poverty as morally intolerable in a rich society had to await the emergence of a rich society.
-Nathan Rosenberg

The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius.
-Oscar Wilde

The society that scorns excellence in plumbing because plumbing is a humble activity and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted activity will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy. Neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water.
-John Gardner

The world is in greater peril from those who tolerate or encourage evil than from those who actually commit it.
-Albert Einstein

The world tolerates conceit from those who are successful, but not from anybody else.
-John Blake

The worst government is the most moral. One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane. But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
-H.L. Mencken

There are three intolerable things in life- cold coffee, lukewarm champagne, and overexcited women.
-Orson Welles

There's no one more intolerant than a liberal in San Francisco.
-Tim Goodman

To know a person's religion we need not listen to his profession of faith but must find his brand of intolerance.
-Eric Hoffer

Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to evil.
-Thomas Mann

Tolerance comes with age. I see no fault committed that I myself could not have committed at some time or other.
-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Tolerance does not... do anything, embrace anyone, champion any issue. It wipes the notes off the score of life and replaces them with one long bar of rest. It does not attack error, it does not champion truth, it does not hate evil, it does not love good.
-Walter Farrell

Tolerance grows only when faith loses certainty; certainty is murderous.
-Will Durant

Tolerance is an admirable intellectual gift, but it is worth little in politics.
-Woodrow Wilson

Tolerance is just a makeshift, suitable for an overcrowded and overheated planet. It carries on when love gives out, and love generally gives out as soon as we move away from our home and our friends.
-E.M. Forster

Tolerance is only another name for indifference.
-W. Somerset Maugham

Tolerance is the virtue of the man without convictions.
-G.K. Chesterton

Tolerance, good temper and sympathy are no longer enough in a world where ignorance rules, and Science, which ought to have ruled, plays the pimp.
-E.M. Forster

Tolerance: (n) Openness to all ideas from the Left.
-Kenneth Lloyd Billingsley

Tolerating those who will not tolerate you is more correctly known as cowardice.
-Perry de Havilland

Toleration is a good thing in its place; but you cannot tolerate what will not tolerate you, and is trying to cut your throat.
-J.A. Froude

Too much of what passes as tolerance in America is not the result of principled judgment but is simple moral indifference.
-Daniel Taylor

True Patriotism, it seems to me, is based on tolerance and a large measure of humility.
-Adlai E. Stevenson II

We have to go forth and crush every world view that doesn't believe in tolerance and free speech.
-David Brin

We should not permit tolerance to degenerate into indifference.
-Margaret Chase Smith

We tend to idealize tolerance, then wonder why we find ourselves infested with losers and nut cases.
-Patrick Nielsen Hayden

While the American system may be forgivingly tolerant of people with wild and dangerous ideas, it doesn't generally let them run the country.
-Gerard Baker

Who teaches you tolerance? Maybe sometimes your children teach you patience, but always your enemy will teach you tolerance. So your enemy is really your teacher.
-Tenzin Gyatso (The Dalai Lama)

Whoever kindles the flames of intolerance in America is lighting a fire underneath his own home.
-Harold E. Stassen

You would better educate ten women into the practice of liberal principles than to organize a thousand on a platform of intolerance and bigotry.
-Susan B. Anthony

You would not even tolerate for one moment the conduct in an individual that is commonplace in the acts of some nations. You would lock up such a person.
-L. Ron Hubbard


Categories: Hypocrisy, Intolerance, Quotes on a topic, Religion, Tolerance


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On hypocrisy...
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Published Saturday, July 06, 2013 @ 8:52 AM EDT
Jul 06 2013

A conservative government is an organized hypocrisy.
-Benjamin Disraeli

A hypocrite is a person who- but who isn't?
-Don Marquis

As religion is imitated and mocked by hypocrisy, so public duty is parodied by patriotism.
-J. E. Thorold Rogers

Don't stay away from church because there are so many hypocrites. There's always room for one more.
-A.R. Adams

Early in life, I had to choose between honest arrogance and hypocritical humility. I chose honest arrogance and have seen no occasions to change.
-Frank Lloyd Wright

Every man alone is sincere. At the entrance of a second person, hypocrisy begins.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Force may make hypocrites, but it can never make converts.
-William Penn

Hubris and hypocrisy are a deadly combination.
-Anne-Marie Slaughter

Hypocrisy is better than no standards at all.
-William Bennett

Hypocrisy is the homage that vice pays to virtue.
-Francois de la Rochefoucauld

Hypocrisy is the lubricant of society.
-David Hull

Hypocrisy is the most difficult and nerve-racking vice that any man can pursue; it needs an unceasing vigilance and a rare detachment of spirit. It cannot, like adultery or gluttony, be practised at spare moments; it is a whole-time job.
-W. Somerset Maugham

Hypocrite: a guy who writes a book on atheism and prays that it sells.
-Woody Allen

I hope you have not been leading a double life, pretending to be wicked and being really good all the time. That would be hypocrisy.
-Oscar Wilde

I'm disappointed that my own Catholic Church has decided that capital punishment is wrong. Which is pretty hypocritical if you think about it, because they wouldn't even have a religion if it wasn't for capital punishment.
-Stephen Colbert

In all ages hypocrites, called priests, have put crowns upon the heads of thieves, called kings.
-Robert G. Ingersoll

It's silly to go on pretending that under the skin we are all brothers. The truth is more likely that under the skin we are all cannibals, assassins, traitors, liars, hypocrites, poltroons.
-Henry Miller

Manners are the hypocrisy of nations.
-Honoré de Balzac

No man is a hypocrite in his pleasures.
-Samuel Johnson

Only crime and the criminal, it is true, confront us with the perplexity of radical evil; but only the hypocrite is really rotten to the core.
-Hannah Arendt

Public prayer is no evidence of piety. It is practiced by an abundance of hypocrites. But private prayer is a thing for which the hypocrite has no heart.
-Charles H. Spurgeon

Same old hypocrisy. Life is a fight, and the strongest wins. All civilization does is hide the blood and cover up the hate with pretty words!
-Ursula K. LeGuin

Superstition, idolatry, and hypocrisy have ample wages, but truth goes a begging.
-Martin Luther

The good thing about being a hypocrite is that you get to keep your values.
-Alan Alda

The greatest and truest zeal gives us no security against hypocrisy: The most open impiety is attended with a secret dread and compunction.
-David Hume

The hypocrite's crime is that he bears false witness against himself.
-Hannah Arendt

The inevitable hypocrisy, which is associated with the all the collective activities of the human race, springs chiefly from this source: that individuals have a moral code which makes the actions of collective man an outrage to their conscience.
-Reinhold Neibuhr

The true hypocrite is the one who ceases to perceive his deception, the one who lies with sincerity.
-Andre Gide

We are not hypocrites in our sleep.
-William Hazlitt


Categories: Hypocrisy, Quotes on a topic


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An incredible simulation!
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Published Tuesday, June 18, 2013 @ 6:22 AM EDT
Jun 18 2013

While getting a dish of Breyers ice cream last night, I noticed something odd... the package didn't say "ice cream."

Instead, in the lower right hand corner was the title "Frozen Dairy Dessert."

I visited the Breyers web site. The front page makes several references to ice cream, but no mention of frozen dairy dessert.

I eventually found what I was seeking, about halfway down the FAQ page:

Frozen Dairy Dessert products are made with many of the same high-quality ingredients that are commonly found in Ice Cream– like fresh milk, cream and sugar– and offer a great taste and even smoother texture. According to the FDA, in order for a product to be labeled ice cream, it needs to meet two key requirements:

· Not less than 10% dairy fat
· A percentage of overrun that results in a finished product weighing more than 4.5 pounds per gallon

Anything that does not meet both of those requirements is not considered ice cream.

5) Why did Breyers make the change to Frozen Dairy Dessert?

Our consumers are at the center of every recipe decision we make. We work hard to understand what people want most and work to give them the best possible product experience. People have told us they have various flavor or texture preferences. For example, some tell us that they want a smoother texture, which is what we’re able to deliver with our Frozen Dairy Dessert products.

Yeah, in addition to milk, cream, and sugar, I'd like five different types of gums and stabilizing agents.

And don't forget the corn syrup. Yum.

(New York Times article, "Ice Cream's Identity Crisis": "You might ask what the difference is between ice cream and a frozen dairy dessert, and I might answer that it is the same as the difference between a slice of American cheese and a slice of Kraft Singles American Pasteurized Prepared Cheese Product.")

And there's this, and also this:


Categories: Hypocrisy, KGB Opinion, WTF?


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"I reject your reality, and substitute my own."
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Published Thursday, November 08, 2012 @ 3:00 AM EST
Nov 08 2012

That famous quote by Mythbuster Adam Savage is, simply, the reason why the Republicans were handed their lunch on Tuesday.

Here are two essays which address the issue in a sane, rational manner. The videos that follow, from last night's Daily Show, are a bit more... bombastic.

-----


Ohio really did go to President Obama last night, and he really did win. And really was born in Hawaii. And he really is legitimately President of the United States. Again. And the Bureau of Labor Statistics did not make up a fake unemployment rate last month. And the Congressional Research Service really can find no evidence that cutting taxes on rich people grows the economy. And the polls were not skewed to over sample Democrats. And Nate Silver was not making fake projections about the election to make conservatives feel bad. Nate Silver was doing math. And climate change is real. And rape really does cause pregnancy sometimes. And evolution is a thing. And Benghazi was an attack on us. It was not a scandal by us. And nobody is taking away anyone's guns. And taxes have not gone up. And the deficit is dropping, actually. And Saddam Hussein did not have Weapons of Mass Destruction. And the moon landing was real, and FEMA is not building concentration camps. And UN election observers are not taking over Texas. And moderate reforms of the regulations on the insurance industry and the financial services industry in the country are not the same things as Communism.

Listen. Last night was a good night for Democrats and liberals for very obvious reasons. But it was also possibly a good night for this country as a whole. Because in this country we have a two party system in government. And the idea is supposed to be that the two sides both come up with ways to confront and fix the real problems facing this country. They both propose possible solutions to our real problems. And we debate between those possible solutions. And by the process of debate, we pick the best idea. That competition between good ideas from both sides about real problems in the real country should result in our country having better choices, better options, than if only one side is really working on the hard stuff. And if the Republican party and the conservative movement and the conservative media are stuck in a vacuum-sealed door-locked spin cycle of telling each other what makes them feel good, and denying the factual lived truth of the world, then we are all deprived as a nation of the constructive debate between competing feasible ideas about real problems.

Last night the Republicans got shellacked. And they had no idea it was coming. And we saw them in real time, in real humiliating time, not believe it as it was happening to them. And unless they are going to secede, they are going to have to pop the factual bubble they've been so happy living inside... if they do not want to get shellacked again. And that will be a painful process for them, I'm sure, but it will be good for the whole country, left, right and center. You guys, we're counting on you. Wake up. There are real problems in the world. There are real knowable facts in the world. Let's accept those and talk about how we might approach our problems differently. Let's move on from there. If the Republican party and the conservative media are forced to do that by the humiliation they were dealt last night, we'll all be better off as a nation.

And in that spirit, congratulations everybody.

- Rachel Maddow

-----

If You're Surprised By The Election Results, You're The Reason You Lost, Or: A Plea for Useful Republicans.

Dear Republicans:

I know the despair you feel this morning, and sympathize, because I've been there. In 2004 my stiff, robotic millionaire lost to a President he should have soundly thumped, and I was so hurt I took a week off from the Internet afterwards. I am completely sympathetic with that slow terror that the country is now in the hands of an incompetent, and the voters don't even know it.

But I noticed a weird difference between the way Republicans and Democrats reacted to a losing candidate. In 2004, when the polls turned against Kerry and it was obvious he was going to lose, the Democrats asked "How can we fix that?" Oh, they asked in their glum, incompetent way, but when I personally talked to other Democrats both in real life and online, we were all pretty cognizant of the fact that Kerry was the underdog.

The Republicans of 2012, however, became increasingly convinced that Romney was going to win.

Everywhere I looked on Twitter and Facebook, I saw my Republican friends- not straw men, but actual people- talking about how terrible Nate Silver's methods were, how these Rasmussen polls showed Romney's real strength, and eventually you got the travesty of UnSkewedPolls.com, which cherry-picked the data and even today has their prediction of not just a Romney win but a landslide, Romney 311 to Obama 227. (Actual result: Obama 332, Romney 206.)

It all crystallized for me when my friend Brad Torgerson said, "Liberals and Democrats have Nate Silver and his 538 blog. Conservatives and Republicans have the U of CO guys. It's an epic cage match of predictive numbers geekery!"

Look there. Right at that post- one not too dissimilar from a thousand other dismissals of Nate Silver and the other aggregated polls. See what Brad did there? The way the guy bringing you news he didn't like was automatically assigned a partisan bias, and the only rational solution was to get a guy on your side with better numbers? As if reality was merely a function of getting enough guys on your side?

That's why you lost.

Stop confusing hard reality for partisan opposition.

It's time to step out of the bubble, dear Republicans, because we fucking need you. I don't trust the Democratic party to run the country single-handedly. I want a Republican party I can rely on for real solutions- and you've become lazy, voodoo-like, dismissing any data you don't like as partisan opposition.

Jay Lake is fond of saying, "Reality has a liberal bias." That's not because reality inevitably verifies liberal thinking, but because the Republican response to anything that challenges them is now to write off the data.

And let me repeat: we need you. I want a counterweight to Democratic power, not a deadweight that refuses to acknowledge the issues. I want a Republican party that will look at the numbers for climate change and not go, "I don't like what those scientists are saying, so I'll call it a silly liberal bias!" but say, "We're business experts, we know how to motivate rich people to do what we want, how do we fix this?" I want a Republican party that will realize while yes, we're spending far too much and should cut down, the results of thirty years of trickle-down theory and tax cuts won't actually provide enough revenue, because we are at the lowest effective tax rates we've had in thirty years.

And yes, you can argue all my statements here. But in that, smart person, you're like a driver with an SUV in Alaska. A person with a car in Alaska is going to get stuck in the snow eventually; that's a fact. But if you have an SUV, you're gonna get stuck way the heck out in the woods where no one can get at you, because you have the strength to do it and won't stop when common sense tells you to. I had a ton of Very Smart friends dissecting all the reasons why Nate Silver was wrong, why his methodology sucked, why these pollsters who said what they liked over here had better ways of slicing the data- and all that flurry of so-called "facts" amounted to was an elaborate justification of personal biases that had no basis in reality.

It's time to stop fighting the obvious. It's time to stop assuming that anyone who presents contradictory data is out to get you.

You should have won, guys. You had a President with an economy in the doldrums, a guy who'd lost a lot of his electoral mojo in the realities of politics. But instead of rising from the grave, you chose a candidate who never actually gave us firm numbers on what expenses he'd cut to fix the economy. You chose a candidate who said he'd get rid of Obamacare, but never actually named the parts he'd destroy. You chose someone who, though all politicians lie, lied a lot more than almost any modern Presidential candidate.

You had a guy who should have sliced Obama to ribbons- and he lost, in large part, because he said, "Trust me" instead of giving us a plan. And you let him get away with it.

You let him get away with it because you're indulging in a great deal of magical thinking. You let him get away with it because facts have ceased to matter; as long as someone tells you something you want to hear, you'll find a way to justify it with pseudo-science and trust and spit and baling wire. You don't like to hear how bad a candidate Mitt was, because you came so close this year, but it's true; the problem is that so much of the country has abandoned listening to reality that you can get massive votes and never touch a fact.

If you can't be honest today, in the aftermath of this great defeat, then you're never going to see the truth.

If you seriously thought that Romney had a good chance of winning, then you're part of the problem. Wake up. I implore you: learn from this. Look at your deepest beliefs, and see whether the numbers support them. Start thinking, maybe those people with data I don't like are right.

If you think the lesson to be learned is "We weren't conservative enough," then you're handing me a great victory in 2016. I want to have a real choice then.

Love,
T.F. (The Ferret)

---

Megyn Kelly teaches Karl Rove the power of scientific gobbledygook.

"If only President Bush could have been so lucky as to have a massive hurricane on his watch, then... oh, right..."

It's just arithmetic.


Categories: Barack Obama, Bill O'Reilly, Chick-fil-A, Daily Show, Elections, Fox News, Hypocrisy, Jon Stewart, Karl Rove, Megyn Kelly, Mitt Romney, Nate Silver, News Media, Politics, Rachel Maddow, Sarah Palin, The Ferret, YouTube


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Observations of the day
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Published Saturday, October 20, 2012 @ 8:15 AM EDT
Oct 20 2012

Get the full context: Read Jen Hatmaker's powerful post here.

There are always those who take it upon themselves to defend God, as if Ultimate Reality, as if the sustaining frame of existence, were something weak and helpless. These people walk by a widow deformed by leprosy begging for a few paise, walk by children dressed in rags living in the street, and they think, Business as usual. But if they perceive a slight against God, it is a different story. Their faces go red, their chests heave mightily, they sputter angry words. The degree of their indignation is astonishing. Their resolve is frightening.
-Life of Pi, by Yann Martel

I hate, I despise your religious festivals; your assemblies are a stench to me. Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them. Though you bring choice fellowship offerings, I will have no regard for them. Away with the noise of your songs! I will not listen to the music of your harps. But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never- failing stream!
-Amos 5:21-24

Stop bringing meaningless offerings! Your incense is detestable to me. New Moons, Sabbaths and convocations- I cannot bear your worthless assemblies… When you spread out your hands in prayer, I hide my eyes from you; even when you offer many prayers, I am not listening. Your hands are full of blood! Wash and make yourselves clean. Take your evil deeds out of my sight; stop doing wrong. Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.
-Isaiah 1:13-17)

"Why have we fasted," they say, "and you have not seen it? Why have we humbled ourselves, and you have not noticed?"... Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—when you see the naked, to clothe them, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
-Isaiah 58:3-4, 6-7

Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams, with ten thousand rivers of olive oil? Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul? He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
-Micah 6:7-8

These people fail to realize that it is on the inside that God must be defended, not on the outside. They should direct their anger at themselves. For evil in the open is but evil from within that has been let out. The main battlefield for good is not the open ground of the public arena but the small clearing of each heart. Meanwhile, the lot of widows and homeless children is very hard, and it is to their defense, not God's, that the self-righteous should rush.
-Life of Pi, by Yann Martel


Categories: Hypocrisy, Jen Hatmaker, Life of Pi, Observations, Philosophy, Quotes of the day, Religion, Yann Martel


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End of the week clearance
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Published Saturday, September 01, 2012 @ 8:55 AM EDT
Sep 01 2012

Stuff that caught my eye this week:

Of course, the new Eastwood meme:

Other politics:

Family:


My son Doug and my daughter-in-law Angela

Cute animals:

Family and cute animals::


Bella keeps a stiff upper lip as she prepares to watch my granddaughter Leanna depart for the first day of fourth grade.

Miscellany:


The Jet Propulsion Laboratory Curiosity Mars Lander Team visits the cast of The Big Bang Theory:


Categories: Animals, Barack Obama, Clint Eastwood, Dogs, Hypocrisy, KGB Family, Mitt Romney, NASA, Politics, WTF?


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Just sayin'...
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Published Sunday, July 22, 2012 @ 8:55 AM EDT
Jul 22 2012


Categories: Hypocrisy, Observations, Second Amendment, U.S. Constitution


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You know we're in trouble...
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Published Saturday, July 21, 2012 @ 2:06 PM EDT
Jul 21 2012

...when "satire" in The Onion is about the only honest, objective view you'll get of this abysmal situation.

Sadly, Nation Knows Exactly How Colorado
Shooting's Aftermath Will Play Out

(The Onion, July 20, 2012)

WASHINGTON-Americans across the nation confirmed today that, unfortunately, due to their extreme familiarity with the type of tragedy that occurred in a Colorado movie theater last night, they sadly know exactly how the events following the horrific shooting of 12 people will unfold.

While admitting they "absolutely hate" the fact they have this knowledge, the nation's 300 million citizens told reporters they can pinpoint down to the hour when the first candlelight vigil will be held, roughly how many people will attend, how many times the county sheriff will address the media in the coming weeks, and when the town-wide memorial service will be held.

Additionally, sources nationwide took no pleasure in confirming that some sort of video recording, written material, or disturbing photographs made by the shooter will be surfacing in about an hour or two.

"I hate to say it, but we as Americans are basically experts at this kind of thing by now,” said 45-year-old market analyst Jared Gerson, adding that the number of media images of Aurora, CO citizens crying and looking shocked is “pretty much right in line with where it usually is at this point." "The calls not to politicize the tragedy should be starting in an hour, but by 1:30 p.m. tomorrow the issue will have been politicized. Also, I wouldn't be surprised if the shooter's high school classmate is interviewed within 45 minutes."

"It's like clockwork," said Gerson, who sighed, shook his head, and walked away.

According to the nation's citizenry, calls for a mature, thoughtful debate about the role of guns in American society started right on time, and should persist throughout the next week or so. However, the populace noted, the debate will soon spiral out of control and ultimately lead to nothing of any substance, a fact Americans everywhere acknowledged they felt "absolutely horrible" to be aware of.

With scalpel-like precision, the American populace then went on to predict, to the minute, how long it will take for the media to swarm Aurora, CO, how long it will take for them to leave, and exactly when questions will be raised as to whether or not violence in movies and video games had something to do with the act.

The nation's citizens also confirmed that, any time now, some religious figure or cable news personality will say something unbelievably insensitive about the tragic shooting.

"Unfortunately, I've been through this a lot, and I pretty much have it down to a science when President Obama will visit Colorado, when he will meet with the families of those who lost loved ones, and when he will give his big speech that people will call 'unifying' and 'very presidential,'" Jacksonville resident Amy Brennen, 32, said, speaking for every other person in the country. "Nothing really surprises me when it comes to this kind of thing anymore. And that makes me feel terrible."

"Oh, and here's another thing I hate I know," Brennen continued, "In exactly two weeks this will all be over and it will be like it never happened."


Categories: Barack Obama, Hypocrisy, News Media, Observations, Politics, Questions for the Ages, Religion, Second Amendment, The Onion, TV, U.S. Constitution


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Bloviating idjit of the day
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Published Thursday, May 10, 2012 @ 9:02 AM EDT
May 10 2012


Categories: Barack Obama, Hypocrisy


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Schrödinger's Candidate
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Published Wednesday, April 18, 2012 @ 2:03 AM EDT
Apr 18 2012


Categories: Hypocrisy, Mitt Romney, Observations, Politics


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It's all about family values
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Published Monday, January 23, 2012 @ 2:39 AM EST
Jan 23 2012


Categories: Family Values, Hypocrisy, Newt Gingrich


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And by America, we mean...
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Published Sunday, October 23, 2011 @ 12:02 AM EDT
Oct 23 2011

...North America, that area bordered to the north by the Arctic Ocean, to the east by the Atlantic Ocean, to the southeast by South America, and to the west and south by the Pacific Ocean. Note we didn't use the word "manufactured" or say The United States of America, so our lawyers say we're covered.


Categories: Hypocrisy, WTF?


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They're not the counter-culture; they're the culture.
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Published Saturday, October 22, 2011 @ 8:36 AM EDT
Oct 22 2011


(Bill Maher, "New Rules," October 21, 2011.)

Republicans have to stop calling the Wall Street protestors "hippies."

Yes, they're peeing outdoors and having sex in sleeping bags- or, as Bristol Palin calls it, "dating"- but they're not hippies.

The hippies are all gone. Woodstock was 42 years ago. Forget the brown acid. The people who were at Woodstock are now taking the blue Viagra. "Tune in, turn on, drop out" refers to their hearing aids. Wavy Gravy is 75 years old. He's making wavy gravy in his pants...

Of course conservatives want to make this about hippies, because they like to live in the past. Rush Limbaugh- who really is too square to be a drug addict- said, "When the free drugs run out, when the free sex runs out, they'll get bored and move on to something else."

Oh, that's right, Grandpa. Look at them: strumming their sitars and wearing dungarees. Whatever happened to the good old days of segregation and date rape? But I get it. You're bitter, because we fought a culture war in the sixties, and the right lost. Rick Santorum is like that Japanese soldier on the island that doesn't know the war is over, so he's still fighting against birth control and butt sex.

Plus, Republicans are now mostly a southern party, and if there's one thing southerners don't do well, it's lose a war and get over it.

But that war is, indeed, over. The ideals of the youth movement became assimilated into American society. That's way we have gays in the military now, and pre-natal yoga classes, and tofurkey. And that's why Rick Santorum will never be President, and a black guy who snorted cocaine is.

It's also why there's not going to be a repeat of what happened the last time the hippies were in the streets. Those hard-hats that you're depending on to turn against the lousy hippies? Here's what they're doing now: they're cheering them on. Because now the hard-hats are just as broke as everybody else.

These people down there, they're not the counter-culture; they're the culture. They don't want free love. They want paid employment. They don't hate capitalism. They hate what's been done to it. And they resent the Republican mantra that the market perfectly rewards the hard-working and punishes the lazy. And the poor are just jealous mooches that want a hand-out.

Yeah. 'Cause if there's one group of people who hate hand-outs, it's Wall Street.


Categories: Hypocrisy, New Rules


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By the numbers
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Published Friday, October 21, 2011 @ 12:50 AM EDT
Oct 21 2011

Cut spending? Raise taxes? Maybe instead of raising taxes, we just collect them...


Categories: Hypocrisy, Poster of the day, WTF?


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Scorn in the U.S.A.
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Published Wednesday, October 19, 2011 @ 8:12 AM EDT
Oct 19 2011

"It's gotta be tough [for Republicans] to love America so much, but to hate almost three-quarters of the people living in it."
-Jon Stewart

("The Daily Show" assembles yet another brilliant set of hypocrisy-laden clippage.)


Categories: Daily Show, Hypocrisy, Video


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Remembering 9/13
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Published Tuesday, September 13, 2011 @ 8:23 AM EDT
Sep 13 2011

The Daily Show remembers 9/13... the day we started forgetting...


Categories: Church and State, Daily Show, First Amendment, Hypocrisy, Jon Stewart, U.S. Constitution, Video, WTF?


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Newt shoots himself in the foot
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Published Thursday, May 19, 2011 @ 7:24 AM EDT
May 19 2011

I've always found the hallmark of an honest conversation is one that begins with "If you quote me directly using videotape of my comments, in context- you're lying."


Categories: Daily Show, Hypocrisy, Jon Stewart, Video


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"And by Twitiverse I don't mean Twitter, I mean twits."
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Published Thursday, May 12, 2011 @ 6:54 AM EDT
May 12 2011

The Daily Show's Jon Stewart yet again reveals Fox News' faux outrage as the naked hypocrisy it is.

"Oh, if we only had the tape..."


Categories: Daily Show, Hypocrisy, Jon Stewart, Music, Video


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"Safety Net" slashed for wealthy tax cuts
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Published Monday, February 28, 2011 @ 12:34 PM EST
Feb 28 2011

This chart prepared by the Center for American Progress discloses the greed and hypocrisy of the GOP. They slash safety net programs for children, the poor, and the unemployed while supplying obscene tax cuts for the wealthy. Where's the outrage, teabaggers?

(From the Center for American Progress)


Categories: Hypocrisy, WTF?


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O'Really, O'Reilly?
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Published Friday, January 28, 2011 @ 5:21 AM EST
Jan 28 2011

Noted condescending conservative pinhead Bill O'Reilly criticized Jon Stewart of The Daily Show for claiming Fox News calls people Nazis.

Stewart again nails the faux news channel to the wall.

Don't those Fox News people realize The Daily Show has researchers who actually hold on to the tapes?


Categories: Daily Show, Hypocrisy, Jon Stewart, Video, WTF?


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Fox's Nazipalooza!
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Published Tuesday, January 25, 2011 @ 6:43 AM EST
Jan 25 2011

Jon Stewart's crack Daily Show research staff again exposes the fetid swamp of steaming hypocrisy that is Fox News.

"That's like Charlie Sheen showing up at your intervention to tell you to take it down a notch."


Categories: Daily Show, Hypocrisy, Jon Stewart, Video, WTF?


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Colbert reclaims Christianity
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Published Friday, December 17, 2010 @ 12:12 PM EST
Dec 17 2010

Colbert masterfully exposes conservative intellectual dishonesty and hypocrisy, and underscores the danger of angering a truly devout Sunday School teacher from New Jersey.

"Now what I like best about Bill [O'Reilly]'s argument is its complete factual inaccuracy. Because it would be inconvenient to guys like us to repeat what Jesus actually said. For instance, if someone wants your coat, give them your cloak as well. Rich people should sell all their possessions and give the money to the poor. Plus, the fact is, Jesus was way beyond self-destructive... he was self-sacrificial. I mean, the guy is God. He could have floated off that cross like Criss Angel Mindfreak. And I love, I love how Bill closes with "The Lord helps those who help themselves," kind of implying that Jesus said that, when it was actually Ben Franklin, who I believe belched out that proverb between mouthfuls of French whore."

"It's time to take baby Jesus out of the manger. Replace him with something that's easier to swallow. How about a honey-baked ham? Because if this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we've got to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that he commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition... and then admit that we just don't want to do it."


Categories: Colbert Report, Hypocrisy, Stephen Colbert, Video


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"The millionaires and billionaires in this country are doing just fine."
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Published Sunday, December 05, 2010 @ 9:00 AM EST
Dec 05 2010


Categories: Hypocrisy, Video, YouTube


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Best Plagiarized Lines from Bush's Book
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Published Monday, November 15, 2010 @ 10:22 AM EST
Nov 15 2010

From Andy Borowitz's Borowitz Report:

They were betterer times, they were worserer times.

It is a Truth universally acknowledg'd that Halliburton must be in Want of a Presidency.

Are you there, Satan? It's me, George.

The past is a foreign country; we need to blow it up.

Midway through the journey of my life, I found myself in a dark wood, because I was sh*tfaced.

A girl got a pet goat. She liked to go running with her pet goat.

All children, except one, grow up.

If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to do is talk to Cheney.

Goodnight, Kanye.

My momma always said life was like a jar of fetus.


Categories: Hypocrisy


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