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25+ best memes about jumping off a cliff

Zero tolerance, zero brains; Bob Dylan; solar storms; spermageddon; canine-spread coronavirus
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Published Monday, May 24, 2021 @ 12:00 AM EDT

May 24 2021

One of the problems associated with being thrown into Facebook jail is ignorance of the alleged offense.

The announcement states that your post has violated Facebook's "Community Standards," a dense, 27-page litany of offenses that will get you kicked off the platform.

I found the section which I believe addresses my post:

"We care deeply about the safety of the people who use our apps. We regularly consult with experts in suicide and self-injury to help inform our policies and enforcement, and work with organizations around the world to provide assistance to people in distress.

"While we do not allow people to intentionally or unintentionally celebrate or promote suicide or self-injury, we do allow people to discuss these topics because we want Facebook to be a space where people can share their experiences, raise awareness about these issues, and seek support from one another."

"We define self-injury as the intentional and direct injuring of the body, including self-mutilation and eating disorders. We remove any content that encourages suicide or self-injury, including fictional content such as memes or illustrations and any self-injury content which is graphic, regardless of context."

Here's the offending cartoon:

I maintain this isn't a cartoon about suicide- it's a cartoon addressing the power of social media to influence otherwise sane people to do insane things. If anything, it's an anti-suicide cartoon.

I've appealed prior suspensions and won, because it was obvious the artificially intelligent bot or stressed human outside contractor didn't grasp the concepts of satire, parody, or irony and made a bad call. Most of the time Facebook admitted it was in error and unhid the post. But I don't think it's going to work in this instance, because self-injury is one of those categories of which Facebook seems to have a zero tolerance policy. There is no way to contact any human at Facebook to offer a defense. And a small potatoes page administrator with a mere 10,134 followers really can't create enough media outrage to get Facebook executives involved.

I suspect Facebook adopted this policy to aggregate a number it can use in its "we're doing our best, but we can't catch everything" defense. They can point to their mountain of context-free suspensions and say, "Look, we suspended n accounts in the last month for violating our policy against self-injury."

Supplementary viewing/reading:

Little evidence supports the claimed effectiveness of zero-tolerance policies.

"The whole principle is wrong (censorship); it's like demanding that grown men live on skim milk because the baby can't eat steak."
-Robert A. Heinlein

"The written word will soon disappear and we'll no longer be able to read good prose like we used to could. This prospect does not gentle my thoughts or tranquil me toward the future."
-James Thurber

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"The first way to answer the questions in the song ('Blowin' in the Wind') is by asking them. But lots of people first have to find the wind."
-Bob Dylan (born Robert Allen Zimmerman. He's 80 today.)

Actor Gary Burghoff is 78 today. The video above is the 1984 pilot episode of a M*A*S*H spinoff that wasn't picked up.

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The first text message: On this day in 1844, Samuel Morse sent the message "What hath God wrought" (a biblical quotation, Numbers 23:23) from a committee room in the United States Capitol to his assistant, Alfred Vail, in Baltimore, Maryland, to inaugurate a commercial telegraph line between Baltimore and Washington D.C.

On this day in 1940, Igor Sikorsky performed the first successful single-rotor helicopter flight.

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NOT REAL NEWS: a look at what didn't happen last week.

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Pentagon's UFO footage- and Obama's curiosity- ratchet up expectations for a big reveal. When Congress passed the $2.3 trillion omnibus appropriations bill in December, it included a requirement that the Pentagon and a number of intelligence agencies prepare a report laying out what they know about UAPs (unidentified aerial phenomena), which is the new military-speak for UFOs. The report is expected to be delivered as early as June 1, and at least part of it will be made available to the public.

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Good news for a Monday morning: "...greater coffee consumption is associated with a decreased risk of all-cause mortality."

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Liz Cheney's GOP primary challenger admits to impregnating 14-year-old when he was 18. Liz Cheney's GOP primary challenger admits to impregnating 14-year-old when he was 18. The Facebook video he released, called "Senator Bouchard takes on the fake news media," claimed "I was young" and "you've heard those stories before. She was a little younger than me, so it's like the Romeo and Juliet story," he said, neglecting several glaring differences like the Shakespearean characters were fictional and neither was running for Congress in the so-called "family values" party.

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Can the news be fixed? The fix is already in. Oh, you mean like repaired.

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The Great Amazon Purge... "About three weeks ago, several major Amazon brands were suddenly kicked out. Most people were unaware of the names of more than 12 disappearing Chinese companies, such as Mpow and Aukey. However, these two sell a number of electronic devices, such as phone chargers and external batteries for smartphones. If you click "Buy" on Amazon's first phone charger or wireless headphones, it could be from one of the sellers currently suspended."

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Alabama will now allow yoga in its public schools (but students can't say 'namaste'). But on the other hand, Alabama becomes latest state to legalize medical marijuana.

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Life as we know it:

Solar storms are back, threatening life as we know it on Earth.

A massive heat dome is about to make the Southeast sweat. "Temperatures starting on Monday will run between 10-15 degrees above normal, and border on record maximum temperatures, both for daily highs and lows."

Spermageddon: Could men be infertile by 2045? One word: parthenogenesis.

New coronavirus discovered- and dogs are spreading it. It could be the eighth coronavirus known to cause illnesses in humans.

Categories: Alabama, amazon.com, Anthony Bouchard, Bob Dylan, Coffee, Covert Comic, Dogs, Drugs, Facebook, Fact check, Gary Burghoff, Helicopters, Igor Sikorsky, James Thurber, January 6, Liz Cheney, M*A*S*H, News Media, Republicans, Robert A. Heinlein, Romeo and Juliet, Samuel Morse, Self-injury, Spermageddon, Suicide, Telegraph, The Sun, Weather, William Shakespeare

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Touchy, aren't we?
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Published Wednesday, May 19, 2021 @ 9:00 AM EDT

May 19 2021

This cartoon, which I posted several years ago, just got me a new 30 day ban on Facebook.

Seems like they're sensitive to satirical comments about social media.

Categories: Facebook, KGB Blog News

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On this date in 2011, the 2011 Super Outbreak devastated parts of the Southeastern United States, especially the states of Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, and Tennessee. 205 tornadoes touched down on April 27 alone, killing more than 300 and injuring hundreds more.

Facebook jail, Grant's Tomb, Für Elise, why McDonalds ice cream machines are always broken
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Published Tuesday, April 27, 2021 @ 12:01 AM EDT

Apr 27 2021

I'm scheduled to be released from Facebook "jail" today, a week after I was suspended from the social networking platform for a satirical cartoon I posted six years ago that supposedly violated "Community Standards." My only guess is that it popped up in the daily "Memories" feed and got tagged there. Bear in mind, the post was perfectly okay in 2015, when I shared it from another account.

Ah, Community Standards... a vague set of rules established to protect Facebook from criticism that it harbors Bad People Thinking Bad Thoughts. But the standards are subjectively interpreted, and randomly and arbitrarily enforced by buggy AI software that doesn't understand the concepts of satire, sarcasm, and parody.

I was suspended two years ago for this picture, which Facebook's artificial intelligence bots tagged as "hate speech":

It's an obvious, self-deprecating male joke. I was offending men? Women? The dog?

Facebook has an appeal process, and for several times each day in the past week I stated my case in the form supplied, hit the send button, and received this:

I think it's hard coded into the page.

What's particularly frustrating is the whole banning business is totally opaque. You're told you can't post for a specified period of time, and then are directed to review the Community Standards to make certain you don't do it again. But in many cases, Facebook doesn't tell you what it was you were doing that triggered the censorbot: violating some advertising rule, promoting hate speech, etc. It's like being pinched by the feds, having them hand you the U.S. Code, and telling you to read it to discover why you were arrested.

And of course, there's no way to actually contact a human being at Facebook. If you go to the page to report a problem and send them the details, you just get a pop-up acknowledging submission.

The guy in the video sums up the whole thing. Understandably NSFW language, but it's no worse than some of the stuff that appears on Facebook that, for some reason, doesn't get flagged for violating community standards:

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Thought of the day: "I rise only to say that I do not intend to say anything. I thank you for your hearty welcomes and good cheers." (Known as Grant's perfect speech.)
-Ulysses S. Grant (born Hiram Ulysses Grant, April 27, 1822 – July 23, 1885) (More Ulysses S. Grant quotes)
Speaking of dead presidents... on this day in 1994, Richard M. Nixon was buried on the grounds of the Nixon Library in Yorba Linda, California.

Contemporary Thought of the Day: Just think, in 30 years this country will be run by people who were home schooled by alcoholics.

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Among other things, today is Babe Ruth Day, Marine Mammal Rescue Day, Matanzas Mule Day, Morse Code Day, National Devil Dog Day, National Prime Rib Day, National Tell a Story Day, International Design Day, and World Tapir Day.

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On this date in 1810, Ludwig van Beethoven wrote Bagatelle No. 25 in A minor (WoO 59, Bia 515) for solo piano, commonly known as Für Elise. One of his most popular compositions, and one of the most famous piano pieces of all time, it was not published during his lifetime, only being discovered (by Ludwig Nohl ) 40 years after his death.

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On this day in 1897, Grant's Tomb was dedicated. Officially the General Grant National Memorial, President Ulysses S. Grant and his wife Julia Grant are entombed there. Thus, "Who is buried in Grant's Tomb?" is a pedantic, trick question. No one is buried there.

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Sheena Easton (b. Sheena Shirley Orr, 27 April 1959) is 62 today. She had 15 US Top 40 singles, seven US top tens and one US No.1 on the Billboard Hot 100 between 1981 and 1991.

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The current junior United States Senator from New York, Cory Booker, (b. Cory Anthony Booker, April 27, 1969) is 52 today. Notable quote: "Before you speak to me about your religion, first show it to me in how you treat other people. Before you tell me how much you love your God, show me in how much you love all His children." (More Cory Booker quotes)

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On this date in 1981, Xerox introduced the first commercially available computer mouse.

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Florida man indicted for selling over $1 million worth of toxic COVID-19 'miracle cure' that was bleach.

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Why the world should worry about India. The world's largest vaccine producer is struggling to overcome its latest COVID-19 surge—and that's everyone's problem.

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When you see a headline like Biden isn't banning meat, USDA chief says, you just know it's just another conservative delusion.

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Now this is great investigative journalism, no sarcasm intended: the REAL reason McDonalds' ice cream machines are always broken.

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This looks interesting, but is it really necessary? Of course, the original 1961 film was a yet another take on Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, which itself was based on the 1562 narrative poem The Tragical History of Romeus and Juliet and a 1556 work by William Painter.

And speaking of movies, the television rating for the Oscars® plunged 58% from 2020, with less than ten million viewers tuning in.

Categories: Computers, Cory Booker, Covid-19, Facebook, Florida, Ice Cream, Ludwig Nohl, Ludwig van Beethoven, McDonald's, Oscars, Republicans, Richard Nixon, Romeo and Juliet, Sheena Easton, Steven Spielberg, Ulysses S. Grant, Weather, West Side Story, Xerox

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Finally, scientists have estimated the number of bubbles in a glass of beer.

Debt, beer bubbles, cricket burgers, what to do with Vaseline.
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Published Friday, April 23, 2021 @ 12:00 AM EDT

Apr 23 2021

It's Friday!

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From Wonkette: Republicans wake from four year coma and remember they are PASSIONATE about FEDERAL DEBT.

Fresh Acqusitions LLC, the parent company of buffet chains Ryan's, Old Country Buffet, HomeTown Buffet, Fire Mountain, and Furr's, and Tahoe Joe's, a steakhouse chain in California, filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.

Russia plans to launch its own space station after quitting ISS. And China is set to launch first module of massive space station. NASA better call Airbnb.

'The Supreme Court ruled in favor of scam artists,' FTC chief says after justices gut agency's powers. In a 9-0 ruling, the justices said the Federal Trade Commission cannot force companies that engage in wrongdoing to pay restitution to consumers.

The man who put his head inside a particle accelerator while it was switched on. Not the brightest photon in the synchrotron.

13 unorthodox uses for petroleum jelly (aside from that one). My grandfather used to ask my grandmother, "Who put the sand in your Vaseline?"

Flushing the toilet is more dangerous than you think: study. Noroviruses, microorganisms, and even the novel coronavirus can all spread through aerosols released in flushing. That's why I always close the lid before flushing. Also resolves the leaving the seat up issue.

Facebook to incorporate user feedback on News Feed arrangement. This would be helpful, in the unlikely event I ever decided to put any more effort into Facebook.

A neglected protein-rich 'superfood': insects. Crickets produce up to 80% less methane than cows and 8-12 times less ammonia than pigs. But I think I'll pass on the cricket burger, thanks.

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Thought of the day: "Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny."-Frank McKinney (Kin) Hubbard

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Among other things, today is Day of Silence, English Language Day, German Beer Day, Impossible Astronaut Day, International Creator Day, International Nose Picking Day, International Pixel-Stained Technopeasant Day, Lover's Day, Movie Theatre Day, National Cherry Cheesecake Day, National Lost Dog Awareness Day, National Picnic Day, Saint George's Day, Spanish Language Day, Take a Chance Day, Talk Like Shakespeare Day, World Book and Copyright Day, World Book Night, and World Laboratory Day.

Remembering Shirley Temple (April 23, 1928 – February 10, 2014)

Remembering Roy Orbison (April 23, 1936 – December 6, 1988)

Lee Majors (birth name Harvey Lee Yeary) is 82 today.

Remembering Sandra Dee (born Alexandra Zuck; April 23, 1942 – February 20, 2005)

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On this day in 1965, Motown released The Four Tops' "I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch)." The single, written and produced by Holland-Dozier-Holland topped the Billboard's R&B chart for nine weeks (being named the biggest R&B single of the year by Billboard) and also peaked at number one on the Hot 100 for two non-consecutive weeks.

On this day in 1993, Pete Townshend's musical "Tommy" premiered on Broadway.

On this day in 2001, Fatboy Slim released his single "Weapon of Choice." The music video was directed by Spike Jonze, starred Christopher Walken dancing, and is one of the greatest music videos in the history of music videos. In my opinion.

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Have a good weekend. See you Monday!

Categories: Christopher Walken, Facebook, Fatboy Slim, Food, Four Tops, Lee Majors, Motown, Pete Townshend, Sandra Dee, Shirley Temple, Spike Jonze, Tommy

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Earth Day is tomorrow
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Published Wednesday, April 21, 2021 @ 5:24 PM EDT

Apr 21 2021

Lest we forget:

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Among other things, today is Administrative Professionals Day, Big Word Day, Bulldogs are Beautiful Day, Keep Off the Grass Day, Kindergarten Day, National Banana Day, National Chocolate-Covered Cashews Day, National Tea Day, National Yellow Bat Day, San Jacinto Day, Thank You for Libraries Day, Tuna Rights Day, and World Creativity and Innovation Day.

On this date in 1986, Geraldo Rivera opened Al Capone's vault on live television and found nothing.

On this date in 1956, Elvis Presley's first hit record, "Heartbreak Hotel", reached #1 on the charts. Co-written by Mae Boren Axton, her son Hoyt wrote Three Dog Night's 1971 hit "Joy to the World," which also hit #1 and stayed there for six weeks.

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When you try to post something after Facebook blocks you, they give you a chance to tell them why you think they're wrong. When you enter your text and press the button, you get this:

Every. Single. Time. Over 20 attempts in two days. I got this the last time they suspended me a month or so ago, so it's obvious their feedback request is just a hypocritical sham. And is appears they're getting more stupid and/or evil each day.

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But there are more important things about which to be concerned. Humungous flare from sun's nearest neighbor breaks records. Why should you care? This guy thinks the thing that caused it is heading this way and that Old Sol is next.

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Interesting approach: The Bible makes way more sense as a series of "Florida Man" stories.

Categories: Bible, Catastrophism, Earth Day, Environment, Facebook, Florida, Humpback Whales, Star Trek

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Mall optometrist Rand Paul doesn't know why Dr. Fauci thinks he's such an 'expert' on pandemics.

Facebook censorship, vaccines, Trump v everybody, Social Security, SCOTUS, the shopping cart theory
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Published Wednesday, May 13, 2020 @ 12:00 AM EDT

May 13 2020

Forward our URL to a friend. They can subscribe here.

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Before commencing the usual daily festivities:

Senseless censorship:

For the past few months, Facebook's "community standards" scanner has been periodically stopping my KGB Report newsfeed on the social network and, most recently, prohibiting me from posting anything at all, including to my personal account. This was particularly irritating, since I couldn't respond to comments or even use Facebook Messenger. My guess is they've grown sensitive to criticisms about some of the conspiracy, white supremacy and other nut job postings, so they've turned their post-scanning censor software up to 11. For example, if you post a meme that contains a photo of a swastika, the words "hoax", "5G", or some other conspiracy/coronavirus-type reference, you'll get suspended for "activities... that don't comply with Facebook policies."

This posting in February got me kicked off for a week. Facebook labeled it "Hate Speech":

I still don't know who was being hated upon: the men or the dog. I had posted it a year earlier without incident. I guess Facebook is getting touchier as it gets older.

The current offense in question was shared from another page which, incidentally, is still up and running. This image is also all over Twitter as well:

Just a few hours after the expiration of my latest suspension, this appeared on my page last night:

I have no idea what I did to deserve this. It doesn't reference a specific post, so I have no way of knowing what "didn't comply with Facebook policies." Does Andy Borowitz or The Onion have this problem?

See the box that says "Disagree With Decision"? It used to be that you could appeal and a human would review it, and generally you'd get an "oops" and the post would be restored. But now you get the message:

So the strike remains on your record, and there's no way to remove it. And then you get this, should you happen to stumble across the "Page Quality" tab, which is hidden under a "More" button on the administration page:

As A.J. Liebling wrote in The New Yorker in 1960, "Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one." With the Internet, everyone owns a personal electronic printing press. The trick is getting people to read it. On Facebook, KGB Report has over 10,000 followers. The KGB Report blog has -ahem- somewhat less.

If you read and enjoy the blog, spread the word. If you're receiving the email version, forward it to a friend or five. If you're reading it on the website, please copy our url (https://www.kgbreport.com) and pass it along.

Maybe this is what got me the boot. Do not taunt The Zuck, I guess:

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Today is Wednesday, May 13, the 134th day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. 232 days remain until the end of the year.

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Among other things, today is Cough Drop Day, Donate a Day's Wages to Charity Day, Frog Jumping Day, International Hummus Day, International Receptionists' Day, National Apple Pie Day, National Fruit Cocktail Day, National Leprechaun Day, National Root Canal Appreciation Day, National Third Shift Workers Day, Top Gun Day, World Cocktail Day, and World FM Day.

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Remembering Bea Arthur (May 13, 1922 - April 25, 2009) (Video)

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Harvey Keitel is 81 today. (Video)

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Remembering Mary Wells (May 13, 1943 - July 26, 1992). (Video)

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Little Stevie Wonder is 70 today. (Video)

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Remembering Ritchie Valens (May 13, 1941 - February 3, 1959). (Video)

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Stephen Colbert is 56 today. (Video)

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Listen to the audio- Supreme Court oral argument: President Trump's financial records. Justice Elena Kagan told Trump lawyer Jay Sekulow a "fundamental precept of our constitutional order is that the president is not above the law." Chief Justice John Roberts asked Trump lawyer Patrick Strawbridge: "Do you concede any power in the House to subpoena personal papers of the president?" The Trump attorney said it was “difficult to imagine” a situation in which that would be justified. However, in 1974 the justices acted unanimously in requiring President Nixon to turn over White House tapes to the Watergate special prosecutor. And in 1997, another unanimous decision allowed a sexual harassment lawsuit to proceed against President Clinton. In those cases, three Nixon appointees and two Clinton appointees, respectively, voted against the president who chose them. Ginsburg and Breyer were those Clinton appointees. The New York Times story is here.

Related: I've seen Trump's tax returns and you should, too: "If all of this information from Trump's taxes, bankers and accountants was good enough for me over a decade ago, it's certainly good enough for Congress and the Manhattan district attorney today."

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Unreleased White House report shows coronavirus rates spiking in heartland communities. Trump's claim that cases are falling everywhere is contradicted by his own task force's report... showing the virus spreading far from the coasts.

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Reopening America... "...daring Mother Nature to kill you or someone you love...Mother Nature bats last, and she bats a thousand."

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Credit where credit's due... The four men responsible for America's COVID-19 test disaster..

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Fact check: McConnell claims Obama didn't leave Trump a pandemic 'game plan.' Obama left a 69-page playbook.

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Developing a COVID-19 vaccine quickly is possible... but not without risks and some ethical rationalizations. (Video)

Related: Let's say there's a COVID-19 vaccine—who gets it first? An immunization shot is still in development, but debate over who gets priority has already begun.

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Broadway theaters will remain dark at least through Labor Day. The closed productions will offer refunds or exchanges to ticket holders through Labor Day.

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The filmed performance of the blockbuster Broadway musical "Hamilton" is coming to Disney+ a year earlier than anticipated, just in time for Fourth of July festivities. Disney paid $75 million for the worldwide rights in February and had set a theatrical release date of fall 2021. But with the pandemic shuttering so many cinemas and theaters worldwide, Disney is clearly betting on its hugely successful streaming service (which just surpassed 50 million subscribers) to recoup its investment.

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Our weird behavior during the pandemic is messing with Artificial Intelligence models. (Video)

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Judge invites outside parties to weigh in on Flynn case, delaying DOJ effort to drop charges. The judge, a Clinton appointee, still needs to approve the DOJ's motion to drop the charges. He has yet to schedule a hearing or ask for further briefing.

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Clarence Thomas wants to shrink your free speech rights- unless you're a rich donor.

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Thoughts of the day:

There is a road from the eye to the heart that does not go through the intellect.
-G.K. Chesterton

Some call the adage "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results" a cliché. Others call it practice.
-Variously attributed

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.
-Emo Philips

There is no happiness for people at the expense of other people.
-Anwar Sadat

I am truly horrified by modern man. Such absence of feeling, such narrowness of outlook, such lack of passion and information, such feebleness of thought.
-Alexander Herzen

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race.
P.J. O'Rourke-

The smartest thing ever said on the Internet: "Laws are just stories we tell poor people."
-Variously attributed

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Social Security beneficiaries might not receive much of a cost-of-living adjustment next year- and some say recipients might not get anything at all.

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Things are really rough out there. Please consider donating to Feeding America.

Categories: AI, Anthony Fauci, Artificial Intelligence, Barack Obama, Bea Arthur, Broadway, Censorship, Clarence Thomas, Covid-19, Disney+, Donald Trump, Facebook, Hamilton (musical), Harvey Keitel, Michael Flynn, Mitch McConnell, Ritchie Valens, SciShow, SCOTUS, Social Security, Sonia Sotomayor, Stephen Colbert, Stevie Wonder, Video, YouTube

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What, Me Worry?
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Published Wednesday, April 25, 2018 @ 9:07 AM EDT

Apr 25 2018

You already have zero privacy- get over it.
-Scott McNealy

I'm probably an outlier here, but I can't get too worked up over the Facebook/Cambridge Analytics data privacy business.

Perhaps it comes from 30+ years of working with computers, but when I log onto a social media site, I really don't expect much in the way of privacy. That's why I don't put anything on Facebook that I don't want people (or companies) to know.

I also realize that by visiting these social media sites, my personal data is going to be monetized by the site. Remember the saying: "If you're not paying for the product, you are the product." (Some disagree.)

Some people are creeped out by the ads they see, which often include stuff they've viewed on other sites. Doesn't bother me... in fact, it's useful. I often go to a site to buy something, get interrupted or distracted, and forget about it. The ad jogs my memory and saves me the time of having to manually go back to the site. Often, the ad will be from a different seller who has a lower price.

I guess it can be reduced to one's sense of self-importance. Frankly, I don't think there's much about me on social media that's so secret or valuable that it must be protected. On commerce sites, I use strong passwords and two-step verification. On Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter, I really don't care that much. To those who feel otherwise, I quote Fran Lebowitz: "Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try."

Anyway, the real threat isn't Facebook, it's our own government. In the days after 9/11, the government started scanning everything. Everything. The Post Office has a photo of every piece of first class mail it handles. The NSA sees just about everything that travels across the net. Even science fiction couldn't keep up with reality:

And let's be honest... if the government really has some reason to single you out of the 324 million people in the United States, they would have no problem -especially under the present administration- fabricating incriminating information or, for that matter, just making you disappear. Donald Trump frightens me. Mark Zuckerberg, not so much.

Here's what I find disturbing:

A Google search for "Kevin G. Barkes" returns about 14,600 hits. I've been online since the late 1980s so, if anything, I'm somewhat under-referenced. A bit more vexing is what appears when you do an image search of me (see above). In case you're wondering, the photos appear to come from this website, and include L. Ron Hubbard, me, Joseph P. Kennedy, Immanuel Kant, Gary Busey, me, Bill Moyers, Grace Lee Boggs, and Michael Eisner. Since text containing "Kevin G. Barkes" appears on every page of this site, Google apparently grabs everything and files it under my name.

Fortunately, I have not been misidentified as Gary Busey.

Yet.

Categories: Facebook, Fran Lebowitz, Linked In, NSA, Peggy Noonan, Person of Interest, PRISM, The Daily KGB Report, The Machine, Twitter

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Ramblings
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Published Thursday, July 21, 2016 @ 7:01 AM EDT

Jul 21 2016

(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette Photo)

Not only did the Republicans nominate Trump for President, a red-bellied piranha was caught in North Park Lake. Ok, 2016, you win. Please stop.

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My son referenced a political thread in which he was engaged, and somehow the conversation turned into quotes from from the 1984 cult classic The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension.

My son noted, "Lectroid involvement would explain a lot about the Trump campaign."

Laugh while you can, monkey boys...

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Pixie, our small, insane, alien dog-like creature who resembes a Shih Tzu, behaved quite well for Dr. Joanna Rubin and her staff at Bridgeville Animal Hospital for her pre-spay exam. The thought of her reproducing is too terrifying to consider. (Pixie, not Joanna.)

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"Every word that comes out of Mike Pence's mouth reminds me that somewhere in rural Indiana, probably near Elkhart, a Quizno's is missing its assistant manager."
-Ed. Gin & Tacos (on Facebook)

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Today is Get to Know Your Customer Day, Invite an Alien to Live with You Day, Legal Drinking Age Day, National Junk Food Day, National Tug- Of-War Tournament Day, and Take a Monkey to Lunch Day.

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Watching the Republican National Convention, I keep expecting them to break out into "Springtime for Hitler."

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ACA out of detent. Mode control, both auto. Descent engine command override, off.
-Buzz Aldrin
(The actual first words spoken by a human from the surface of the Moon, July 20, 1969.)

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On The Nightly Show with Larry Wilmore, Braddock mayor John Fetterman observed that since outrageous claims, lies and statements seem to have no effect on Trump and his ilk, we are now living in a "post=factual" age.

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According to a story in The New York Times Magazine, this past May Donald Trump's son, Donald Jr.,contacted a senior adviser to Ohio governer and failed Republican Presidential candidate John Kasich, and asked him if the governor had any interest in being the most powerful vice president in history. Here's where it gets weird:

When Kasich's adviser asked how this would be the case, Donald Jr. explained that his father's vice president would be in charge of domestic and foreign policy.

Then what, the adviser asked, would Trump be in charge of?

“Making America great again” was the casual reply.

I've maintained since he entered the race that while Trump wants to win the Presidency, he really doesn't want to be President. Too much work, too much discipline and- let's face it- The White House is a step down from the decor of his multiple, gilded homes which appear to have been furnished by Saddam Hussein's interior designer.

He has the nomination. The question is now, how can he get out of it if he wins the election? Medical? Personal problems? (Hey, he's on wife number three). Stay tuned.

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I don't know if it's an accomplishment or not, but thanks to the Republicans in general and Trump in particular, I have now blocked more people on Facebook than I have as friends. Every once in a while I encounter one of them in real life, where I'm tempted to grab them by the shoulders and shake them, while screaming "Are you insane? We grew up together in the sixties! What the hell happened to you?"

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So, at least we now have the answer to the question "How could the German people allow Hitler to rise to power?"

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Someon stole my Bernie Sanders yard sign the other week. It was after he had suspended his campaign, but stil... I wanted to save it, to show there were some same people about in 2016.

You may have noticed on the right sidebar that I've replaced the Sanders plug with one for Hillary Clinton. At least she's not Trump...

Categories: 2016, Adolf Hitler, Bernie Sanders, Bridgeville Animal Hospital, Buckaroo Banzai, Buzz Aldrin, Candidates, Dogs, Donald Trump, Facebook, Gin and Tacos, Hillary Clinton, John Fetterman, John Kasich, Mike Pence, Politics, The Nightly Show

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My Facebook Movie
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Published Wednesday, February 05, 2014 @ 11:41 AM EST

Feb 05 2014

Aside from the first photo, Facebook's automated movie generator did a fairly decent job.

Categories: Facebook, KGB, KGB Family, KGB Opinion

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Sign of the day
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Published Monday, January 13, 2014 @ 8:44 AM EST

Jan 13 2014

(Posted by Erica J. Harris on Facebook)

Categories: Facebook, Photo of the day

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Observations of the day: Shutdown/Debt Ceiling edition
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Published Tuesday, October 15, 2013 @ 11:59 AM EDT

Oct 15 2013

Social media on the shutdown:

Andy Borowitz (Facebook):

BREAKING: Most Hated People in U.S. Deciding Fate of World.

Let's put this shutdown behind us so the trials for treason can begin.

Michele Bachmann: "My Health Plan is Rapture."

As the Republicans go from Abraham Lincoln to Teddy Roosevelt to Ted Cruz, it's no wonder they don't believe in evolution.

Say what you will about America, it's a place where any child, if he's stupid enough, can grow up to wreck the world economy.

If we default on our debt Miley Cyrus will no longer be the most embarrassing thing about America.

Call me an optimist, but I believe our government will come up with a totally unsatisfactory solution to a completely unnecessary crisis.

The behavior of the Tea Party congressmen is the most glaring indictment of our nation's failure to teach math.

Congress has wasted two weeks on a totally unnecessary crisis of its own creation. It's a good thing our schools and roads are in great shape or I'd be mad.

There are people in Congress I would not trust to look after my plants.

WASHINGTON - After a poll showed 50% of Americans blame Republicans for the shutdown and 30% blame Obama, Rep. Michele Bachmann said, "That means we're winning by 20 percent."

Boehner: "The time has come to end this crisis so we can start planning the next one."

BREAKING: GOP Accuse Obama of Acting Like He Won Election

BREAKING: NRA Defends GOP's Right to Use Metaphorical Gun

Basically, the Republicans want a reward for calling in a bomb threat and then retracting it.

Just bought health insurance online. For some weird reason, the country was not destroyed. Anyone else have this problem?

It bothers me that our country may be pushed into default by people who cannot spell default.

Boehner: "We will continue this shutdown until we find out the reason for it."

WASHINGTON - In an escalation of the stalemate gripping the Capitol, House Republicans voted today to shut down the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that controls reasoning and impulses

The shutdown could last awhile since the Tea Party is demanding the President not be black anymore.

I wasn't happy about the country being controlled by the richest one percent, but I really hate it being controlled by the dumbest one percent

Boehner: "The President is stubbornly refusing to end this crisis I created."

WASHINGTON - House Republicans reassured the nation today that during the government shutdown they would continue to work hard to cut benefits for the poor and hungry.

A lot of people are asking when this kind of madness in Washington will end. I believe that can be arranged in 2014.

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-@LOLGOP (Twitter)

I'm impressed that no one has made the analogy between Ted Cruz and McMurphy in One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest.

REMINDER: Michele Bachmann's favorite Founding Father is George Jefferson.

FYI: A nuclear bomb is about to blow up the world's economy and the House GOP will let it go off unless we give a tax break to a corporation.

Political party that pretends Donald Trump is a serious candidate for anything isn't a political party anymore, it's a cry for help.

House Republicans. Willing to destroy what's left of the global economy to avoid a primary challenge.

BREAKING: Ted Cruz and House Republicans meet in private to write open letter to Miley Cyrus, plot a global financial crisis.

Columbus discovered America the same way Republicans discovered the deficit when Obama became president.

Republicans waited to wage war on birth control until 50 years after it was invented. Next: Stop the miniskirt!

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-@pourmecoffee (Twitter)

Schoolhouse Rock is working on a new "How A Bill Becomes Law" but it's taking a while because not much rhymes with "hostage."

Boehner should just show up in a Hawaiian shirt chomping a cigar and say "whatever" to everything.

The real victim in this is legitimate Kabuki theater.

Maybe if the History Channel showed history instead of pawn shops and alligators less people would carry Confederate flags.

Hi, we're the most powerful nation in all of recorded history, may we please have our allowance?

Congress is going to wait until the very last minute and look up budget deals in Wikipedia.

Ted Cruz: Mr. Obama, tear down these barricades!**
(** Put up because of my 21-hour speech directly leading to this outcome.)

Don't tread on me, except getting me to donate money and vote against my own interests, you can tread on me that way.

I don't think Spock could handle mind-melding with John Boehner, even for a moment. The madness. The sorrow. It would break a mind.

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Sarah Reese Jones (Twitter)

John McCain warns Dems not to humiliate GOP as the VP he picked stands near Confederate Flag in front of WH accusing Obama of being Muslim.

Categories: Facebook, Observations, Twitter

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Popeapalooza!
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Published Thursday, March 14, 2013 @ 7:55 AM EDT

Mar 14 2013

I didn't even know he was Catholic. Oh, wait...

So, a 76 year old Pope with one lung. This will end well.
-Patrick Hyland ‏@uberfiend

You know who should totally be the final arbiter of sexual morality? A 76-year-old man who's never had an orgasm.
-God ‏@TheTweetOfGod

Google Reader died for your pope jokes.
-LOLGOP ‏@LOLGOP

Both Paul Ryan and Pope Francis have a commitment to the poor. But Ryan's commitment is to make more of them.
-LOLGOP ‏@LOLGOP

I think Elvis would have been a good Pope. He was popular and already had the wardrobe...
-John Hoskins ‏@BigJohnHoskins

If white smoke means they picked a new Pope, Uncle Rick's Bonneville has been picking Popes for years.
-Pittsburgh Dad ‏@Pittsburgh_Dad

"New Pope Called Gay Marriage 'Destructive Attack on God's Plan.'" Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss.
-God ‏@TheTweetOfGod

Somewhere Lou Dobbs is screaming about this Latino who crossed a border to take someone else's Pope job.
-John Fugelsang ‏@JohnFugelsang

I guess I'll see you all guys in the Pope Jokes section of hell.
-LOLGOP ‏@LOLGOP

Now that we have a Pope, we get that hour of sleep back, right?
-LOLGOP ‏@LOLGOP

Pope being showed his new office. "This is your computer, Holy Father. Pick a password, don't make it Jesus. Everyone picks Jesus."
-pourmecoffee ‏@pourmecoffee

The new Pope came out on the balcony, saw his shadow, and realized there was six more centuries of scandals.
-Albert Brooks ‏@AlbertBrooks

Most awkward part of conclave is now when Cardinals check out and have to authorize in-room entertainment charges.
-pourmecoffee ‏@pourmecoffee

The Pope finished his speech. So refreshing he didn't thank his agent.
-Elayne Boosler ‏@ElayneBoosler

I’m not even Catholic, and I can solidly get behind a Pope Frank.
-Jacque Jo Bland ‏@jacquebland

I was led to understand that Jack Nicholson & Mrs. Obama would be announcing #newpope
-John Fugelsang ‏@JohnFugelsang

It looks like there's a new pope but they're still in line waiting to vote in Florida.
-Elayne Boosler

Categories: Facebook, Pope Francis, Religion, Twitter

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Exchange of the day
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Published Saturday, November 03, 2012 @ 5:51 PM EDT

Nov 03 2012

(From Facebook)

Categories: Barack Obama, Facebook, Holidays, KGB Opinion

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Quote of the day
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Published Sunday, September 16, 2012 @ 9:18 AM EDT

Sep 16 2012

Faceboook prototype edition

Categories: Animals, Cats, Facebook, Quotes of the day

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Dudes. Cut back on the Mountain Dew and Adderall...
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Published Friday, August 03, 2012 @ 7:00 PM EDT

Aug 03 2012

How often have you logged on to Facebook, discovered some feature had disappeared or didn't work the way it had in the past, and just assumed it was a browser compatibility problem or something screwy with your system settings?

The good news is it's probably not your system or browser. The bad news is it's probably because Facebook releases new code twice a day:

Ship early and ship twice as often
by Chuck Rossi on Friday, August 3, 2012 at 4:42pm

"When I wrote about Facebook's release process earlier this year, I stressed how fast we build things here and described how we push new code to facebook.com every day. In fact, I closed with the advice to "ship early and ship often.” Last week, in conjunction with the opening of our engineering office in London, we decided to double the release speed of facebook.com and indeed "ship often."

"We will roll facebook.com onto new code twice a day now, with a push driven by a recently-hired release engineer in our New York office in addition to our standing daily push managed by our California release engineering team. The New York-based push will give much more power to our engineers who aren’t based on the west coast of the U.S. and will ensure they're able to move and ship as quickly as any other engineer in the company. It will also give California engineers two chances to get code shipped and features launched each day.

"When I came to Facebook in 2008, I was the only release engineer, supporting around 100 developers in one location. Now that we’ve added more people and offices around the world, my small team in California (and now New York) is supporting hundreds more developers who are producing 6 times the amount of code per week. We’re making this change to keep our release process as quick and efficient at 1000 engineers as it was at 100.

"I'm really looking forward to this change as it takes our already incredibly aggressive release process and doubles down on it, offering us twice the opportunity to ship great things. It's exciting and I think it crushes what anyone else of our size and impact is doing. Ship early and ship twice as often."

The link to the actual page is: https://www.facebook.com/notes/facebook-engineering/ship-early-and-ship-twice-as-often/10150985860363920?comment_id=22595371&f_t=like

Categories: Facebook, KGB Opinion, WTF?

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I have an app for that...
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Published Monday, February 01, 2010 @ 4:48 AM EST

Feb 01 2010

CTV Television Network in Canada reports "Little or no grammar teaching, cellphone texting, social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter- all are being blamed for an increasingly unacceptable number of post-secondary students who can't write properly." (Full story here.)

The solution's simple. Make spelling and grammar checking an integral part of cellphone texting and web chat software. Messages with misspelled words or faulty grammar are flagged and not transmitted until and unless the sender corrects the errors.

I think kids just need a little motivation...

Categories: Facebook, Internet, KGB Opinion, Twitter

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