KGB Report by Kevin G. Barkes

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Mickey remembered, Elsa whacked, fold your own viruses, secret spaceplane, big bang bust, Alaska tsunami, happy facts, tear gas ice cream
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Published Friday, May 15, 2020 @ 4:15 AM EDT

May 15 2020

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Today is Friday, May 15, the 136th day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. 230 days remain until the end of the year.

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Among other things, today is Bring Flowers to Someone Day, Endangered Species Day, HG Awareness Day, International Conscientious Objectors Day, International Day of Families, International MPS Awareness Day, International Virtual Assistants Day, NASCAR Day, National Bike to Work Day, National Chocolate Chip Day, National Defense Transportation Day, National Pizza Party Day, National Safety Dose Day, National Tuberous Sclerosis Day, Nylon Stockings Day, O. Henry Pun-off Day, Peace Officers Memorial Day, Relive Your Past By Listening to the First Music You Ever Bought No Matter What It Was No Excuses Day (here's mine), Shades Day, Straw Hat Day, and VBF Day of Awareness.

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Remembering L. Frank Baum (May 15, 1856 - May 6, 1919), an American author chiefly known for his children's books, particularly The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. Click here for quotes by L. Frank Baum.

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Madeleine Albright, former U.S. ambassador to the United Nations and the first female United States Secretary of State in history, is 83 today. Click here for quotes by Madeleine Albright.

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Remembering Clifton Fadiman (May 15, 1904 – June 20, 1999), an erudite essayist and editor whose affable wit delighted millions during his long reign as moderator of the popular "Information Please" radio quiz show and even longer tenure as senior editor of the Book of the Month Club. Click here for quotes by Clifton Fadiman.

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On this day in 1928, the Walt Disney character Mickey Mouse premiered in his first cartoon, a silent film called "Plane Crazy", in a test screening before a theater audience. Sound was added, and the film was later released as the fourth Mickey Mouse cartoon, after Steamboat Willie, The Gallopin' Caucho, and The Barn Dance. (Video)

The sound-added version of Plane Crazy, released a year later in 1929.

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Whistleblower Rick Bright's damning testimony on Trump's COVID-19 failures: A Closer Look (Video)

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Use your computer's idle time to fight disease. Folding@home (FAH or F@h) is a distributed computing project for simulating protein dynamics, including the process of protein folding and the movements of proteins implicated in a variety of diseases. It brings together citizen scientists who volunteer to run simulations of protein dynamics on their personal computers. Insights from this data are helping scientists to better understand biology, and providing new opportunities for developing therapeutics.

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There are sensible ways to reopen a country. then there's America's approach.

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Private jet company founded by Trump donor gets $27 million bailout. It's a grant, not a loan. The vast majority of the other 96 recipients of government funding or loans on the list are major commercial airlines, regional carriers or support companies.

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CDC releases scaled-back guidance on reopening after White House blocked earlier release. The new guidelines provide brief checklists meant to help key businesses and others operating in public reopen safely.

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McConnell admits he was wrong to say Obama administration failed to leave a pandemic playbook.

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McDonald's is going to look drastically different when it opens.

Related: On this date in 1940, Richard and Maurice McDonald opened the first McDonald's restaurant in San Bernardino.

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Opinion: stock market crash round 2 is coming.

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Delta Air to retire all of its 777 jets and replace them with Airbus SE aircraft in another hit for the beleaguered U.S. plane maker. Delta will continue flying its fleet of long-haul, next-generation Airbus A350-900s, which burn 21% less fuel per seat than the 777s they will replace, the airline said.

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Everything you need to know about a second round of coronavirus stimulus checks. TLDR: Good stuff, but McConnell and his GOP Senate goons will probably gut stuff that actually helps individuals.

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Cities crack down on food delivery app fees as restaurants struggle to survive.

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Nearly 40% of the poorest households hit with a job loss during pandemic, Fed study shows.

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Mysterious spaceplane prepares for launch on Saturday. The spacecraft may remain in orbit for two years. "What they're trying to do is anyone's guess."

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Scientists warn about risk of massive tsunami in Alaska's Prince William Sound, potentially within the next year. The scientists say an unstable slope sitting above Barry Glacier in Barry Arm, about 60 miles east of Anchorage, could slide into the water below — impacting tourists, fishermen and hunters, and potentially leading to a 30-foot wave...

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Is the Big Bang in crisis? Stubborn problems with dark matter, dark energy, and cosmic expansion have some astronomers rethinking what we know about the early universe.

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Hong Kong shop offers 'tear gas' flavor ice cream. The main ingredient is black peppercorns, a reminder of the pungent, peppery rounds fired by police on the streets of the semi-autonomous Chinese city during months of demonstrations last year. "We would like to make a flavor that reminds people that they still have to persist in the protest movement and don't lose their passion," he said.

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Stopped cold: 'Frozen' musical on Broadway not to reopen. Citing the "global pandemic," Thomas Schumacher, president and producer of Disney Theatrical Productions, said Thursday that running three Disney shows on Broadway was "untenable.""

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40 happy facts that'll make your day a little better.

"Fact: Sea otters hold hands when they sleep." Uh, you're going to have to do better than that. From 2003, some happy facts of my own:

100% TRUE
(and insipid)

1. At least two people in this world love you so much they would die for you.
No, wait a minute. Technically, your ferrets aren't really "people".

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
But be advised that two of those ways are felonies in most states.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
...and they lack that interesting muscular aberration that helps you while away those lonely hours.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
And you thought forgetting to wear your dentures was a mistake.

5. Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep.
Something along the lines of "I can't believe someone hasn't murdered that little bastard yet."

6. You mean the world to someone.
Someone with a vocabulary of one word, that word being "world"

7. If not for you, someone may not be living.
But since you skipped town before the paternity hearing, you'll never know.

8. You are special and unique.
Just like everyone else.

9. Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you.
Thanks to your ex, who posted that "special" picture of you on the Really Hot Amateurs porn site.

10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
Like discovering you really aren't cut out to be an air traffic controller.

11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take another look, you most likely turned your back on the world.
And the world is just waiting for you to bend over.

12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it. But if you believe in yourself, sooner or later, you may get exactly what you want.
Especially if what you want is arthritis, hair loss, erectile dysfunction and declining cognitive capabilities.

13. Always remember the compliments you receive; forget about the rude remarks.
No need to remember the rude remarks. You hear them incessantly, you being you and all.

14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you'll feel much better when they know.
Just be certain there are no witnesses.

15. If you have a great friend, take time to let them know that they are great.
And buy them a gift. Their Blow-Up Betty could use a patch kit.

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Borowitz: Trump wishes he could replace Fauci with the doctor who saved him from Vietnam, Obama unworried about Trump accusing him of crime because Bill Barr does not prosecute criminals.

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Florida man attacks victim who didn't thank him for holding open door to liquor store, deputies say.

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Thoughts of the day:

Today is Mark Zuckerberg's birthday. I don't care, I just wanted to give away some of his personal information.
-Seth Meyers

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.
-Scott Adams

I've never been quarantined, but the more I look around, the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
-George Carlin

So let me get this straight... Captain Clorox thinks schools are safe enough for your kids but jail is too dangerous for Paul Manafort.
(from Facebook)

"Obamagate"- A nonsensical word you create when your cult stops buying your lies about Covid-19, and you desperately need to change the narrative.
(from Facebook)

Not sure Trump is thinking through the implications of normalizing extensive investigations into former presidents.
-@matthewamiller

Donald Trump was never going to get along with anyone called "Dr. Bright.""
-@middleageriot

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