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John Oliver humiliates local TV stations with 'sexual wellness blanket' sponsored content.

Way too much stuff happened on this date
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Published Tuesday, May 25, 2021 @ 12:00 AM EDT

May 25 2021

Wow... lots of things happened on May 25:

1803, Ralph Waldo Emerson was born;
1878, Gilbert and Sullivan's comic opera "H.M.S. Pinafore" opened at the Opera Comique in London;
1921, Hal David was born;
1925, John T. Scopes was indicted for teaching human evolution in Tennessee;
1926, Claude Akins was born;
1929, Beverly Sills was born;
1936, Tom T. Hall was born;
1939, Sir Ian McKellen and Dixie Carter were born;
1943, Leslie Uggams was born;
1944, birth of Frank Oz;
1947, Karen Valentine was born;
1955, birth of Connie Selleca;
1960, Amy Klobuchar was born;
1961, U.S. President John F. Kennedy announced, before a special joint session of the US Congress, his goal to initiate a project to put a "man on the Moon" before the end of the decade. (video);
1962, The Isley Brothers release "Twist and Shout" (video) ;
1963, birth of Mike Myers;
1968, The Gateway Arch in St. Louis, Missouri was dedicated;
1969, "Midnight Cowboy" was released and Anne Heche was born;
1970, Octavia Spencer was born;
1977, the original "Star Wars" movie premiered (without the Episode IV-A New Hope subtitle);
1979, "Alien" debuted;
1983, "Return of the Jedi" hit theaters;
1986, The Hands Across America event took place;
1990, Vic Tayback died;
1992, Jay Leno became host of "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno";
2001, the first Towel Day;
2007, Charles Nelson Reilly died;
2011, the last episode of "The Oprah Winfrey Show" aired; (video)
2017, "Wonder Woman" was released;
2020, George Floyd was murdered in Minneapolis, Minnesota during an arrest.

Five years ago today:

"Donald Trump is now ahead of Hillary Clinton in the polls. This was reported today in the Washington Post and 2,000 years ago in the Book of Revelations."
-Conan O'Brien

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The Havana Syndrome first affected spies and diplomats in Cuba. Now it has spread to the White House. US officials suspect Russian spies are aiming microwave radiation devices at targets to collect intelligence from their computers and cell phones. Brain frying is just collateral- not intentional- damage.

re: spies: Jeff Bezos, a real-life Bond villain, may own James Bond very soon. The Wall Street Journal reports that Amazon's recently rumored plans to acquire MGM have taken a major step forward, in a roughly $9 billion deal that is one of the e-commerce giant's largest acquisitions.

re: wealth: Wikipedia is swimming in money— why is it begging people to donate? The site is way richer than it wants you to know.

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Why is Anthony Fauci hedging on the origins of the coronavirus? Three researchers from China's Wuhan Institute of Virology became sick enough in November 2019 that they sought hospital care, according to a previously undisclosed U.S. intelligence report that could add weight to growing calls for a fuller probe of whether the Covid-19 virus may have escaped from the laboratory. Nah. It was the takeout pangolin nuggets they got from Wuhan's Huanan Seafood Wholesale Market.

The 2021 vaccination map looks like the 2020 election map. The scary thing is if something that can save a lot of lives has fallen into the usual political traps, then pretty much anything can.

Speaking of scary things: Once nearly extinct, the Florida panther is making a comeback. Not as scary and aggressive as the Florida cougar.

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Republicans claim January 6th rioters were middle schoolers on field trip. (Andy Borowitz satire)

Senate GOP misrepresents Jan. 6 riot panel. (Associated Press; not satire, alas.)

cartoon: What Insurrection?

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Body of missing man found inside dinosaur statue. While police have not confirmed how he got inside, local media reports that the man dropped his phone inside the statue and was trying to retrieve it, BBC News reports. He fell inside, hanging upside down, and was unable to call for help.

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A mysterious rise in methane levels is sparking global warming fears.

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US warns against all travel to Japan as Olympics loom. The State Department's warning, which followed the CDC alert, was more blunt. "Do not travel to Japan due to COVID-19, it said in the announcement, which raised the department's travel alert from Level 3 — Reconsider travel — to Level 4 — Do not travel. The previous alert was issued on April 21.

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"I assume the person who first said 'to coin a phrase' said it twice in a row."
-The Covert Comic

Categories: Andy Borowitz, Anthony Fauci, Covert Comic, Covid-19, Cuba, Florida, Havana Syndrome, James Bond, January 6, Japan, Jeff Bezos, John Oliver, May 25, MGM, Olympics, Republicans

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Mall optometrist Rand Paul doesn't know why Dr. Fauci thinks he's such an 'expert' on pandemics.

Facebook censorship, vaccines, Trump v everybody, Social Security, SCOTUS, the shopping cart theory
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Published Wednesday, May 13, 2020 @ 12:00 AM EDT

May 13 2020

Forward our URL to a friend. They can subscribe here.

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Before commencing the usual daily festivities:

Senseless censorship:

For the past few months, Facebook's "community standards" scanner has been periodically stopping my KGB Report newsfeed on the social network and, most recently, prohibiting me from posting anything at all, including to my personal account. This was particularly irritating, since I couldn't respond to comments or even use Facebook Messenger. My guess is they've grown sensitive to criticisms about some of the conspiracy, white supremacy and other nut job postings, so they've turned their post-scanning censor software up to 11. For example, if you post a meme that contains a photo of a swastika, the words "hoax", "5G", or some other conspiracy/coronavirus-type reference, you'll get suspended for "activities... that don't comply with Facebook policies."

This posting in February got me kicked off for a week. Facebook labeled it "Hate Speech":

I still don't know who was being hated upon: the men or the dog. I had posted it a year earlier without incident. I guess Facebook is getting touchier as it gets older.

The current offense in question was shared from another page which, incidentally, is still up and running. This image is also all over Twitter as well:

Just a few hours after the expiration of my latest suspension, this appeared on my page last night:

I have no idea what I did to deserve this. It doesn't reference a specific post, so I have no way of knowing what "didn't comply with Facebook policies." Does Andy Borowitz or The Onion have this problem?

See the box that says "Disagree With Decision"? It used to be that you could appeal and a human would review it, and generally you'd get an "oops" and the post would be restored. But now you get the message:

So the strike remains on your record, and there's no way to remove it. And then you get this, should you happen to stumble across the "Page Quality" tab, which is hidden under a "More" button on the administration page:

As A.J. Liebling wrote in The New Yorker in 1960, "Freedom of the press is guaranteed only to those who own one." With the Internet, everyone owns a personal electronic printing press. The trick is getting people to read it. On Facebook, KGB Report has over 10,000 followers. The KGB Report blog has -ahem- somewhat less.

If you read and enjoy the blog, spread the word. If you're receiving the email version, forward it to a friend or five. If you're reading it on the website, please copy our url (https://www.kgbreport.com) and pass it along.

Maybe this is what got me the boot. Do not taunt The Zuck, I guess:

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Today is Wednesday, May 13, the 134th day of the year in the Gregorian calendar. 232 days remain until the end of the year.

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Among other things, today is Cough Drop Day, Donate a Day's Wages to Charity Day, Frog Jumping Day, International Hummus Day, International Receptionists' Day, National Apple Pie Day, National Fruit Cocktail Day, National Leprechaun Day, National Root Canal Appreciation Day, National Third Shift Workers Day, Top Gun Day, World Cocktail Day, and World FM Day.

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Remembering Bea Arthur (May 13, 1922 - April 25, 2009) (Video)

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Harvey Keitel is 81 today. (Video)

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Remembering Mary Wells (May 13, 1943 - July 26, 1992). (Video)

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Little Stevie Wonder is 70 today. (Video)

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Remembering Ritchie Valens (May 13, 1941 - February 3, 1959). (Video)

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Stephen Colbert is 56 today. (Video)

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Listen to the audio- Supreme Court oral argument: President Trump's financial records. Justice Elena Kagan told Trump lawyer Jay Sekulow a "fundamental precept of our constitutional order is that the president is not above the law." Chief Justice John Roberts asked Trump lawyer Patrick Strawbridge: "Do you concede any power in the House to subpoena personal papers of the president?" The Trump attorney said it was “difficult to imagine” a situation in which that would be justified. However, in 1974 the justices acted unanimously in requiring President Nixon to turn over White House tapes to the Watergate special prosecutor. And in 1997, another unanimous decision allowed a sexual harassment lawsuit to proceed against President Clinton. In those cases, three Nixon appointees and two Clinton appointees, respectively, voted against the president who chose them. Ginsburg and Breyer were those Clinton appointees. The New York Times story is here.

Related: I've seen Trump's tax returns and you should, too: "If all of this information from Trump's taxes, bankers and accountants was good enough for me over a decade ago, it's certainly good enough for Congress and the Manhattan district attorney today."

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Unreleased White House report shows coronavirus rates spiking in heartland communities. Trump's claim that cases are falling everywhere is contradicted by his own task force's report... showing the virus spreading far from the coasts.

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Reopening America... "...daring Mother Nature to kill you or someone you love...Mother Nature bats last, and she bats a thousand."

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Credit where credit's due... The four men responsible for America's COVID-19 test disaster..

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Fact check: McConnell claims Obama didn't leave Trump a pandemic 'game plan.' Obama left a 69-page playbook.

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Developing a COVID-19 vaccine quickly is possible... but not without risks and some ethical rationalizations. (Video)

Related: Let's say there's a COVID-19 vaccine—who gets it first? An immunization shot is still in development, but debate over who gets priority has already begun.

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Broadway theaters will remain dark at least through Labor Day. The closed productions will offer refunds or exchanges to ticket holders through Labor Day.

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The filmed performance of the blockbuster Broadway musical "Hamilton" is coming to Disney+ a year earlier than anticipated, just in time for Fourth of July festivities. Disney paid $75 million for the worldwide rights in February and had set a theatrical release date of fall 2021. But with the pandemic shuttering so many cinemas and theaters worldwide, Disney is clearly betting on its hugely successful streaming service (which just surpassed 50 million subscribers) to recoup its investment.

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Our weird behavior during the pandemic is messing with Artificial Intelligence models. (Video)

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Judge invites outside parties to weigh in on Flynn case, delaying DOJ effort to drop charges. The judge, a Clinton appointee, still needs to approve the DOJ's motion to drop the charges. He has yet to schedule a hearing or ask for further briefing.

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Clarence Thomas wants to shrink your free speech rights- unless you're a rich donor.

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Thoughts of the day:

There is a road from the eye to the heart that does not go through the intellect.
-G.K. Chesterton

Some call the adage "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results" a cliché. Others call it practice.
-Variously attributed

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.
-Emo Philips

There is no happiness for people at the expense of other people.
-Anwar Sadat

I am truly horrified by modern man. Such absence of feeling, such narrowness of outlook, such lack of passion and information, such feebleness of thought.
-Alexander Herzen

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race.
P.J. O'Rourke-

The smartest thing ever said on the Internet: "Laws are just stories we tell poor people."
-Variously attributed

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Social Security beneficiaries might not receive much of a cost-of-living adjustment next year- and some say recipients might not get anything at all.

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Things are really rough out there. Please consider donating to Feeding America.

Categories: AI, Anthony Fauci, Artificial Intelligence, Barack Obama, Bea Arthur, Broadway, Censorship, Clarence Thomas, Covid-19, Disney+, Donald Trump, Facebook, Hamilton (musical), Harvey Keitel, Michael Flynn, Mitch McConnell, Ritchie Valens, SciShow, SCOTUS, Social Security, Sonia Sotomayor, Stephen Colbert, Stevie Wonder, Video, YouTube

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Woman who accused Dr. Anthony Fauci of sexual assault now claims Trump supporters paid her to lie.

Mid-Day Memes and Miscellany...
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Published Friday, May 08, 2020 @ 10:47 AM EDT

May 08 2020

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Once again, The Simpsons predicted the future. From 1993:

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Giant hornet a metaphor for Trump? Dunno...it's orange, creepy, cold and calculating by nature, merciless against the weak and it’s only 2 inches long... you decide.

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Coronavirus found in men's semen. Uh... what other kind is there?

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Off-duty officer in Alabama body slams Walmart shopper irate over face mask rule. The officer used a "takedown measure" to gain control of the woman because of "other threat factors in the store," a police official said.

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Improve your vocabulary, medical edition:

Proprioception: when you know where your body parts are when your eyes are closed.

Innaproprioception: when *I* know where your body parts are when your eyes are closed.

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"Wild Kingdom" - A visit to a sanctuary for Tasmanian devils. They're mean-spirited, vicious little animals. Like cheerleaders but with tails. Animal Planet.
-(Rick Polito, "That TV Guy")

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If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world, and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.
-E.B. White

Categories: Anthony Fauci, Covid-19, Donald Trump, E.B. White, Face masks, Michael Flynn, That TV Guy, The Simpsons

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