This is the card I sent this year.
Inside I wrote:
"It could be
worse. You could have married Woody Allen."
-----
A boy's best friend is his mother.
Robert Bloch (author of Psycho)
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
Variously
attributed
A man who has been the indisputable favorite of his mother keeps for life the feeling of conqueror, that confidence of success that often induces real success.-Sigmund Freud
A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning
unnecessary.
Dorothy Canfield Fisher
A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden,
fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends
who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens
around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts
and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to
return to our hearts.
Washington Irving
A mother who is not everything for her children: a friend, a teacher, a
confidant, a source of joy and founded pride, inducement and soothing,
reconciliator, judge and forgiver, that mother obviously chose the wrong
job.
Joseph Goebbels
A mother, who is really a mother, is never free.
Honoré de Balzac
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and
by car forever after.
Peter De Vries
Almost everyone who has gone to the bad early in life has had a
deceitful mother.
Henrik Ibsen
An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.
Variously attributed
(Spanish Proverb)
Anything that makes your mother cry is fun.
P.J. O'Rourke
Behind all your stories is always your mother's story, because hers is
where yours begin.
Mitch Albom
Being a king, emperor, or president is mighty small potatoes compared to
being a mother.
Billy Sunday
Being a mom is no picnic. Raising the kids is the mother's
responsibility. It's a thankless, solitary job, like sheriff or Pope.
Stephen
Colbert
Being a mother is a noble status, right? So why does it change when you
put 'unwed' or 'welfare' in front of it?
Florynce Kennedy
Being a mother is an attitude, not a biological relation.
Robert
A. Heinlein
Consult a real expert: call your mother.
Variously attributed
Delusions are often functional. A mother's opinions about her children's
beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from
drowning them at birth.
Robert A. Heinlein
Don't worry about what your mother thinks of your language.
Elmore
Leonard
Every mother is like Moses. She does not enter the promised land. She
prepares a world she will not see.
Pope Paul VI
Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequences than to
have a really affectionate mother.
W. Somerset Maugham
His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
Mae West
I doubt if a charging elephant, or a rhino, is as determined, or hard to
check, as a socially ambitious mother.
Will Rogers
I have always admired the Esquimaux. One fine day a delicious meal is
cooked for dear old mother, and then she goes walking away over the ice,
and doesn't come back.
Agatha Christie
I have always detested any departure from reality, an attitude which I
relate to my mother's poor mental health.
Jean Piaget
I should warn you that while Frasier is a Freudian, I am a Jungian. So
there'll be no blaming Mother today.
-(From the TV series Frasier)
I would have gone home to my mother, but I'm not that crazy about my
mother.
Cher
If you desire to drain to the dregs the fullest cup of scorn and hatred
that a fellow human being can pour out for you, let a young mother hear
you call dear baby 'it.'
Jerome K. Jerome
Mother is a verb, not a noun.
Shonda Rhimes
Mothering has been the richest experience of my life, but I am still
opposed to Mother's Day. It perpetuates the dangerous idea that all
parents are somehow superior to non-parents.
Anne Lamott
My mother didn't try to stab my father until I was six.
Alan Alda
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a bitch.
Jack
Nicholson
My mother said, 'You won't amount to anything because you
procrastinate.' I said, 'Just wait.'
Judy Tenuta
My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you
haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security twilight home in
Australia.
Barry Humphries
My mother wanted us to understand that the tragedies of your life one
day have to potential to be the comic stories the next.
Nora Ephron
My mother's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
Buddy
Hackett
My mother's obsession with the good scissors always scared me a bit. It
implied that somewhere in the house there lurked: the evil
scissors.
Tony Martin
My old mother always used to say, my lord, that facts are like cows. If
you stare them in the face hard enough, they generally run away.
Dorothy
L. Sayers
Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother
cleans them.
Rita Rudner
No one is more sentimentalized in America than mothers on Mother's Day,
but no one is more often blamed for the culture's bad people and
behavior.
Anne Lamott
Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and
child.
Dan Quayle
Sometimes you need a B-2 bomber and sometimes you need your mother.
P.J.
O'Rourke
The fastest way to break the cycle of perfectionism and become a
fearless mother is to give up the idea of doing it perfectly- indeed to
embrace uncertainty and imperfection.
Arianna Huffington
The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will
always find forgiveness.
Honoré de Balzac
The love of a mother is never exhausted; it never changes, it never
tires. A father may turn his back on his child, brothers and sisters may
become inveterate enemies, husbands may desert their wives, wives their
husbands: but a mother's love endures through all; in good repute, in
bad repute, in the face of the world's condemnation, a mother still
loves on, and still hopes that her child may turn from his evil ways,
and repent; still she remembers the infant smiles that once filled her
bosom with rapture, the merry laugh, the joyful shout of his childhood,
the opening promise of his youth; and she can never be brought to think
him all unworthy.
Washington Irving
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she
served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
Calvin
Trillin
The mother- poor invaded soul- finds even the bathroom door no bar to
hammering little hands.
Charlotte Perkins Gilman
There are only two things a child will share willingly- communicable
diseases and his mother's age.
Dr. Benjamin Spock
There is no slave out of heaven like a loving woman; and, of all loving
women, there is no such slave as a mother.
Henry Ward Beecher
There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a
hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.
Roseanne
Barr
There's no way to repay a mother's love, or lack of it.
Mignon
McLaughlin
Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother's
love is not.
James Joyce
When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother
would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who
are helping.' To this day, especially in times of 'disaster,' I remember
my mother's words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are
still so many helpers- so many caring people in this world.
Fred
Rogers
Yes, Mother. I can see you are flawed. You have not hidden it. That is
your greatest gift to me.
Alice Walker
You never get over being a child, long as you have a mother to go to.
Sarah
Orne Jewett
Your mother knows how to push your buttons because she installed them.
Variously
attributed
The surprisingly sad origins of Mother's Day.
Categories: Mother's Day
KGB Stuff Commentwear E-Mail KGB
Donate via PayPal