A college is a place where pebbles are polished and diamonds dimmed.
-Robert
G. Ingersoll
A fool's brain digests philosophy into folly, science into superstition,
and art into pedantry. Hence University education.
-George Bernard
Shaw
A man who never graduated from school might steal from a freight car.
But a man who attends college and graduates as a lawyer might steal the
whole railroad.
-Theodore Roosevelt
A man's college and university degrees mean nothing to me until I see
what he is able to do with them.
-Henry Ford
A student can win twelve letters at a university without learning how to
write one.
-Robert M. Hutchins
A university is just a group of buildings gathered around a library. The
library is the university.
-Shelby Foote
A university should be a place of light, of liberty, and of learning.
-Benjamin
Disraeli
A University without students is like an ointment without a fly.
-Ed
Nather
After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the
state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and
conceptual art. Either one of the these things are dangerous, but in
combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations.
-David
Sedaris
Alas, higher education is not necessarily a guarantee of higher virtue,
or higher political wisdom.
-Aldous Huxley
American college students are like American colleges; each has
half-dulled faculties.
-James Thurber
As the only class distinction available in a democracy, the college
degree has created a caste society as rigid as ancient India's.
-Florence
King
College ain't so much where you been as how you talk when you get back.
-Ossie
Davis
College is the best time of your life. When else are your parents going
to spend several thousand dollars a year just for you to go to a strange
town and get drunk every night?
-David Wood
College isn't the place to go for ideas.
-Helen Keller
College: two hundred people reading the same book. An obvious mistake.
Two hundred people can read two hundred books.
-John Cage
Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people
die in colleges.
-Bob Dylan
Colleges hate geniuses, just as convents hate saints.
-Ralph Waldo
Emerson
Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing
college students should never be released into the world until they have
been properly sedated.
-Garry Trudeau
Every man should have a college education in order to show him how
little the thing is really worth. The intellectual kings of the earth
have seldom been college-bred.
-Elbert Hubbard
Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in
Hamburger Technology.
-Clive James
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My
opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
-Flannery
O'Connor
Higher education in America flourished chiefly as a qualification for
entrance into a moneymaking profession, and not as a thing in itself.
-Stephen
Leacock
I can't imagine a genuinely intelligent boy getting much out of college,
even out of a good college, save it be a cynical habit of mind.
-H.L.
Mencken
I can't understand these chaps who go round American universities
explaining how they write poems: It's like going round explaining how
you sleep with your wife.
-Philip Larkin
I learned more about economics from one South Dakota dust storm than I
did in all my years at college.
-Hubert H. Humphrey
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I
looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
-Woody Allen
I'd rather entrust the government of the United States to the first 400
people listed in the Boston telephone directory than to the faculty of
Harvard University.
-William F. Buckley, Jr.
If a young person has any idealism at all, it's strongest about the time
he finishes college.
-Sargent Shriver
If cigarette packs are required to have pictures of diseased lungs,
college brochures should be required to have pictures of graduates
working at Starbucks.
-Daniel Lin
If I were founding a university I would begin with a smoking room; next
a dormitory; and then a decent reading room and a library. After that,
if I still had more money that I couldn't use, I would hire a professor
and get some text books.
-Stephen Leacock
If one cannot state a matter clearly enough so that even an intelligent
twelve-year-old can understand it, one should remain within the
cloistered walls of the university and laboratory until one gets a
better grasp of one's subject matter.
-Margaret Mead
If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to
a library.
-Frank Zappa
Imagine my surprise when it turned out the main thing that I was
qualified for was to get another degree and teach Political Science to
other people, who would, in turn, teach it to other people! This wasn't
higher education, this was Amway with a football team!
-Richard
Jeni
In one century we went from teaching Latin and Greek in high school to
offering remedial English in college.
-Joseph Sobran
No man should escape our universities without knowing how little he
knows.
-J. Robert Oppenheimer
Of course there's a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring
a little in; the seniors don't take much away, so knowledge sort of
accumulates.
-Dr. A. Lawrence Lowell
Our universities are so determined to impose tolerance that they'll
expel you for saying what you think and never notice the irony.
-John
Perry Barlow
Semi-colons only prove that the author has been to college.
-E.B.
White
Smoking crack is a way for people who couldn't afford college to study
the works of Charles Darwin.
-P.J. O'Rourke
Strange as it seems, no amount of learning can cure stupidity, and
higher education positively fortifies it.
-Stephen Vizinczey
The art of handling university students is to make oneself appear, and
this almost ostentatiously, to be treating them as adults...
-Arnold
J. Toynbee
The boy of lively mind isn't hurt by college. If he encounters mainly
jackasses, he learns the useful lesson that this is a jackass world.
-H.L.
Mencken
The chief value of going to college is that it's the only way to learn
it really doesn't matter.
-George Edwin Howes
The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his
intellectual nakedness.
-Robert M. Hutchins
Universities hire professors the way some men choose wives- they want
the ones the others will admire.
-Morris Kline
When my daughter was about seven years old, she asked me one day what I
did at work. I told her I worked at the college- that my job was to
teach people how to draw. She stared at me, incredulous, and said, 'You
mean they forget?'
-Howard Ikemoto
You graduated college ten years ago, so how come there are no damn books
in your house? Why are you living on the intellectual equivalent of
Kraft Macaroni and Cheese?
-Stephen King
-----
(January 25 is also the birthday of W. Somerset Maugham and Virginia Woolf.)
Categories: Quotes on a topic
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