Granddaughters Joelle and Lea. Joelle appears to be thinking, "I don't
mind the sleepover business, but she's touching my bear."
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Rep. Steve Pearce (R-NM) on marriage between a man and a woman:
'The wife is to voluntarily submit, just as the husband is to lovingly lead and sacrifice. The husband’s part is to show up during the times of deep stress, take the leadership role and be accountable for the outcome, blaming no one else.'
To be fair, it sounds better in the original Klingon.
-Zay N. Smith-----
I'm a non-violent kind of guy, but I sincerely believe anyone who uses the word 'whilst' should be soundly thrashed.
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"Secret formulas" abound on social media for wondrous cleaning solutions you can make in your home.
Don't waste your time.
Homemade whatevers - rug cleaner, spot remover, detergent - all contain just one real, active ingredient: dishwashing liquid. That's it. Period. Be especially wary of the ones which include both vinegar and baking soda. When mixed, the acetic acid in the vinegar and the baking soda react to form carbonic acid and sodium acetate. Carbonic acid sounds impressive, but all it really is carbonated water. And when it stops fizzing, it's because all the carbon dioxide has escaped from the mixture. Take the carbon dioxide out of carbonic acid, and you have... water. So you're left with just water and sodium acetate. Sodium acetate is a nifty chemical, with lots of uses- but cleaning ain't one of them. Just just save yourself the trouble and just use the soap and water.
(Courtesy of the late George Kraynick, my sophomore chemistry teacher.)
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Ok, maybe it is a real dog and pony show...
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I'm not arguing, I'm explaining why I'm right.
-Bill Murray
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Funeral home directors: when the only phrase in a death notice that appears in initial caps and within quotation marks is "Dear Wife", you're sending a mixed message...
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"It was the first kiss between an African-American woman and a white
Canadian in a toupee."
-Craig Ferguson (describing Nichelle
Nichols and William Shatner in the original Star Trek tv series.)
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"Kraft has recalled over 1.7 million pounds of Velveeta products for
mis-labeled ingredients. They accidentally called it 'cheese'."
-Stephen
Colbert
-----
Alcohol is really just the liquid version of Photoshop.
-Bill
Murray
-----
Am I supposed to feel safer because corporations, not terrorists, are
blowing up fertilizer plants, drowning towns in oil, and poisoning the
water?
-@TheDailyEdge
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It's a girl my Lord
In a flatbed Ford
Slowing down to do
Some
misandry
(from Twitter)
-----
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Agnostic apathetic isolationist.
I don't know. I don't care. Go away.
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I'm no scientist, but legalizing marijuana in your state seems to cause
immediate football superiority.
-@j_mccarter
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Granddaughter Joelle takes the term "menu sampler" literally.
(With
her mom, Angela, and senior granddaughter Leanna.)
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Excluding starches, preservatives, emulsifiers and artificial flavoring,
Soylent Green is actually less than 2% people.
-The
Covert Comic
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