I'm visiting two doctors this afternoon. I've seen one for 27 years, and been a patient of the other for 42 years. The good news is my mood should improve, and the rash should clear up. Any day now.
-----
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his
client to plant vines.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
A doctor's reputation is made by the number of eminent men who die under
his care.
-George Bernard Shaw
A great doctor kills more people than a great general.
-Gottfried
Wilhelm von Leibnitz
A virus is a Latin word translated by doctors to mean "Your guess is as
good as mine."
-Unattributed
All the possibilities
It had to reject are
What give life and
warmth to
An actual character;
The roots of wit and charm tap
Secret
springs of sorrow,
Every brilliant doctor
Hides a murderer.
-W.H.
Auden
As she lay there dozing next to me, one voice inside my head kept
saying, "Relax... you are not the first doctor to sleep with one of his
patients,' but another kept reminding me, "Howard, you are a
veterinarian."
-Dick Wilson
Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.
-Benjamin Franklin
Crime isn't a disease, it's a symptom. Cops are like a doctor that gives
you aspirin for a brain tumor.
-Raymond Chandler
Doctors bury mistakes. Lawyers hang them. But journalists put theirs on
the front page.
-Unattributed
Doctors cut, burn and torture the sick, and then demand of them an
undeserved fee for such services.
-Heraclitus
Doctors will tell you don't smoke, don't drink, eat certain foods...
From this point on, if I take excellent care of myself, I'll get very
sick and die.
-Rodney Dangerfield
God heals, the doctor takes the fee.
-Benjamin Franklin
He's a fool that makes his doctor his heir.
-Benjamin Franklin
Heaven defend me from a busy doctor. (Welsh Proverb)
-Unattributed
I was an ugly kid. When I was born, after the doctor cut the cord, he
hung himself.
-Rodney Dangerfield
I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's
office was full of portraits by Picasso.
-Rita Rudner
If I did not believe in God, I should still want my doctor, my lawyer
and my banker to do so.
-G.K. Chesterton
If the doctor told me I had only six months to live, I'd type faster.
-Isaac
Asimov
If there were enough doctors, we would all be sick.
-Wendell
Johnson
If you believe the doctors, nothing is wholesome; if you believe the
theologians, nothing is innocent; if you believe the military, nothing
is safe.
-Lord Salisbury
Illness is the doctor to whom we pay most heed; to kindness, to
knowledge, we make promise only; pain we obey.
-Marcel Proust
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there
are three other people.
-Orson Welles
My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish
fluid they force down helpless babies.
-W.C. Fields
Some doctors make the same mistakes for twenty years and call it
clinical experience.
-Dr. Noah Fabricant
The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing.
-Yogi Berra
When I was born, the doctor turned me over and said, "Look! Twins!"
-Rodney
Dangerfield
You should have scheduled an appointment, gone through your physician's
assistant, insisted on seeing your primary care doctor, gotten a
referral, and come to me sooner! (doctor to patient in a cartoon caption)
-Unattributed
Categories: Doctors, Quotes on a topic
KGB Stuff Commentwear E-Mail KGB
Donate via PayPal
