"In his new book George W. Bush reveals that he
considered dropping Dick Cheney in 2002 to show he was in
charge, not Cheney. But then Cheney nixed the idea."
-Jimmy Fallon
"Former President George W. Bush has written his memoir.
It's called Decision Points. I've already decided not to
read it. … He'll be everywhere promoting the book. He's on
the 'Today Show.' Going to be on the Oprah Winfrey Show, and
tomorrow he'll be on the Rachael Ray Show, water boarding
the veal cutlets."
-David Letterman
"No sir, I'm not going to read it until he reads it."
-David Letterman
"In his new book, George W. Bush says he's happy to be
out of Washington. Well, it's unanimous."
-David Letterman
"In an interview with Matt Lauer, President Bush revealed
the most embarrassing thing he ever did when he was drunk.
He asked a friend of his parents at a dinner party what sex
was like after 50. Which is not so bad when you consider
John McCain's most embarrassing moment. He picked Sarah
Palin sober."
-Jay Leno
"Former president George W. Bush released his new memoir.
By the way, 'memoir' is just a fancy word for 'a bunch of
stuff that happened to me.'"
-Craig Ferguson
"Bush's memoir is 512 pages. To be fair, 200 of those
pages are just games and puzzles."
-Craig Ferguson
"In the middle of the book is an Iraq maze which is
pretty much impossible to get out of."
-Craig Ferguson
"Well George W. Bush is on the big book tour this week.
During an interview with USA Today, Bush said that he was,
'blindsided by the financial crisis.' Bush said he was also
blindsided by the fact that he knew the word blindsided."
-Jimmy Fallon
Categories: Craig Ferguson, Quotes of the day
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