The pacifier changes, the sucking remains.
-The
Covert Comic
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If you want to read the fortune, you've got to break the cookie.
-The
Covert Comic
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To build character, use a 4D printer.
The
Covert Comic
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If I can be with the one I love, is it still OK to love the one I'm with?
-The Covert Comic
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You really need to follow The Covert Comic. Do so on his Facebook page, on Twitter, or his website.
(Screen capture of CC's latest Facebook entry.)
Categories: Covert Comic, Quotes of the day, Quotes on a topic
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"Just because you can't decrypt the cipher doesn't mean there's
something wrong with the code."
-The Covert Comic
My favorite post-modern aphorist, CIA spook, and fellow webmaster, The Covert Comic (follow him on Twitter; friend him on Facebook) sent me an e-mail yesterday telling me that the column on the right side of the page isn't rendering properly on Internet Explorer 8.
I jumped over to a remote machine running XP and IE8 and confirmed his report; the right column was appearing under the left column, and the horizontal position was wrong, too.
The page looked fine in Chrome, Firefox, Opera, and the various browsers on my Android phone. It also rendered correctly in IE9 and IE10.
W3C's online markup validation service showed the style sheet was valid, but it did reveal some errors on the page. I manually corrected the bad code, ftp'ed it up to the website, and:
Back over to the XP/IE8 machine. Rename the page so I don't grab a bad, cached version. Type in the new url, and:
Alrighty, then.
If you're still using XP and IE8, you have much bigger problems than reading this page. You know what they say:
We now return you to our regularly scheduled whatever.
Categories: Covert Comic, Internet, KGB Blog News
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The danger in seeking to force our beliefs on others isn't that they may someday force their
beliefs on us; it's that they may someday force our beliefs on us.
-The Covert Comic
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When Jesus told us to love one another, He never said we had to like it.
-The Covert Comic
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I think America might just have spent all day obsessing over loss of
Twinkies. This is why we're not getting a greatest generation book.
-@pourmecoffee
What if the Mayan calendar ends in 5105, and we've just been holding it
upside down?
-Aaron Karo
Hostess will sell the rights to all their snack cakes, and Twinkies will once again pour off the production line of a different company. I wouldn't be surprised if several years' worth of Twinkies aren't already stockpiled in a warehouse somewhere. I mean, It's not like they're going to go stale or anything...
A blonde walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre. So he gives it to her.
This new thesaurus isn't just terrible, it's also terrible.
-Justin
Shanes
Viagra can cause sight loss. So, you can go blind either way.
(YouTube video: The Big Bang Theory Flash Mob!)
James Bond beat Abraham Lincoln at the box office. Boy, it's really been
a lousy week for Republicans, hasn't it?
–David Letterman
No hurry- take all the time you have.
-The Covert Comic
Isn't the Twinkie too big to fail? Where's the bailout, Obama?
-The
Beachwood Reporter
If you were born in or after April 1985, you have never experienced a colder than average month. If you've lived in Pittsburgh during that period, you've experienced the highest and lowest temperatures on record as well as the greatest 24-hour rain and snowfall totals. So if grandma or grandpa start to tell you how bad the weather was when they were growing up, tell them to stick a sock in it.
It's also interesting to note that in April 1985 Coca-Cola changed its formula and released New Coke.
Post hoc, ergo propter hoc?
Categories: Aaron Karo, Abraham Lincoln, Barack Obama, Climate change, Coca Cola, Covert Comic, David Letterman, Drugs, James Bond, Mayans, Miscellany, Observations, The Beachwood Reporter, The Big Bang Theory, Twinkies, Video, YouTube
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Random stuff, as we await the arrival of Sandy Frankenstorm:
God is so busy making sure women get pregnant, I don't know where He
finds time to make a hurricane.
-Andy Borowitz
Bill Maher: "You once called Mitt Romney the most intellectually
dishonest man in politics. Do you still believe that?"
Barney
Frank: "I would strike the word 'intellectually.' "
-(Real
Time with Bill Maher, 10/26/12)
If you are having trouble multi-obsessing over both the hurricane and
election I will be visiting my mom and will get some tips.
-@pourmecoffee
Bloom's Taxonomy defines educational objectives in terms of three core
domains: knowing/head, feeling/heart and doing/hands. These categories
are also useful in dating.
-The Covert Comic
How Not To Get A Picture Of Me.
Lesson 1: poke my girlfriend in the
back at baggage claim and offer her money.
-Sir Patrick Stewart
There are few things more laughable than a political party that can't
get its lie together.
-Robert Brault
If they just called it 'Survivor: Evil/Dumb/Hot/People.' people would
start watching again.
-John Fugelsang
Good thing Zooey Deschanel just sang the anthem cuz it's not like
Detroit has a rich and vibrant musical history to draw from or anything.
-Jay
Satellite
Detroit gave us Motown, Aretha, Bettye LaVette. But none of them has a
Fox TV show, so, hey, let's get Zooey Deschanel to sing the World Series
anthem.
-Greg Kot
Romney promises Hurricane Sandy will not unfairly target rich people.
-Elayne
Boosler
Time is what keeps everything from happening all at once and space is
what keeps it all from happening to you.
-David Gerrold
BREAKING: Weather Forces Romney to Shift Lying to Other States
-Andy
Borowitz
However, we had them in the past and will probably have them in the
future, so if you have a time machine, no problem!
Categories: Andy Borowitz, Bill Maher, Covert Comic, John Fugelsang, Patrick Stewart, Photo of the day, Quotes of the day, Robert Brault, Twitter, Weather
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It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; and perhaps, not surprisingly,
it was also the median of times.
-The Covert Comic
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It's not whether you win or lose, it's why you think there's a game.
-The
Covert Comic
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Conductance is utile.
-The
Covert Comic
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My wife told me "I need you like the desert needs the rain. Once, maybe
twice a year, for no more than twenty minutes."
-The Covert
Comic
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Is it really fair to classify sloth as one of the seven deadly sins,
when being slothful can actually help prevent the other six?
-The Covert Comic
Categories: Covert Comic, Questions for the Ages
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The Covert Comic does it again:
Categories: Covert Comic
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For a while I thought I was bisexual, but only because I tend to get
"bi-" and "semi-" mixed up.
-The
Covert Comic
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How about a compromise: everybody leave the toilet seat at 45 degrees?
The
Covert Comic
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St. Genesius is the patron saint of clowns and lawyers. Clearly, the
Lord doesn’t always work in mysterious ways.
The
Covert Comic
(More comprehensively, St. Genesius is the patron saint of actors, attorneys, comedians, clowns, converts, dancers, epileptics, musicians, printers, torture victims, and stenographers. Really. So, CC's observation stands.)
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Technically speaking, the only things necessary for the triumph of evil
are evil and triumph.
-The
Covert Comic
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Einstein said, "In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity."
Of course, good luck finding the "middle" of something in four-dimensional curved space-time.
-The Covert Comic
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I'm not afraid to think the unthinkable, I just can't figure out a way
to do it.
-The
Covert Comic
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If charity begins at home, I bet I know in which room.
-The Covert Comic
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If brevity is the soul of wit, why does it have more syllables?
-The Covert Comic
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It isn't what they say about you, it's what they redact with a black felt tip marker.
-The Covert Comic
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If God plays dice with the universe, who's the house?
-The Covert Comic
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It takes more effort to hate than to love.
Something to keep in mind if you're looking to lose weight and improve cardiovascular fitness.
The Covert Comic
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You had me until "Hello."
-The Covert Comic
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Read today that they're making a Planet of the Apes prequel. Technically
speaking, isn't every film a Planet of the Apes prequel?
-The Covert Comic
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Whoever said "Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting" obviously never licked one.
-The Covert Comic
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Barring allegations of steroid use, at this point Pope John Paul II's beatification
looks pretty much assured.
-The Covert Comic
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