The week's best late-night political jokes, from Daniel Kurtzman's Political Humor Blog.
It looks like the Bush-era tax cuts for the rich will continue, due to a
strong Republican leader, Barack Obama. Today Obama changed his slogan
from 'Yes we can' to 'Yes, we caved.' It's so bad for him, now Democrats
want to see his birth certificate.
-Jay Leno
President Obama has agreed to extend the Bush-era tax cuts. Because if
there's anything we need, it's an extension of the Bush era.
-David
Letterman
Great. Let's extend the policies of the guy who gave us the greatest
recession in the history of the planet.
-David Letterman
So it's Bush tax cuts for two more years, and then it'll be up to
President Palin.
-David Letterman
Part-time Governor Sarah Palin shot and killed a reindeer on last week's
TV show. And that was her Christmas special. Took her three shots. Well,
she's rusty. Last thing she brought down was John McCain.
-David
Letterman
Sarah Palin shot a reindeer on the last episode of her show. You don't
typically see politicians shooting reindeer to death two weeks before
Christmas.
-Jimmy Kimmel
Between the made-up words and wildly shooting at anything with four
legs, Sarah Palin is turning into Elmer Fudd.
-Jimmy Kimmel
On Sarah Palin's next show she gets together with Kate Gosselin and her
kids. This may be the biggest meeting of media whores since Michael and
Dina Lohan got together to conceive Lindsay.
-Jimmy Kimmel
The WikiLeaks founder is being sought by Swedish authorities on charges
of sexual assault. He says, if he's arrested, he'll release a poison
pill of encoded documents, including ones about UFOs. Arrest him. I want
to hear about the UFOs.
-Jimmy Kimmel
Julian Assange was arrested by British authorities. Our secrets are
safe- as long as no one else figures out how to use the Internet.
-Jimmy
Kimmel
President Obama's pledge to have the most transparent administration in
history has come true. Thanks to WikiLeaks.
-Jay Leno
'A Charlie Brown Christmas' was just on. According to a recent poll,
most Americans think Charlie Brown is a Muslim.
-David Letterman
Nigerian authorities are charging former Vice President Dick Cheney on a
bribery scandal that involves Haliburton. That's when you know you're
bad, when guys in Nigeria are accusing you of running a scam.
Cheney has offered to be hooked up to a polygraph, as soon as he's
unhooked from the defibrillator.
-Jay Leno
The season wouldn't feel the same without people going out of their way
to be offended by nothing.
-Jon Stewart on the War on Christmas
Legislation was enacted in 1993 designed to allow gay people to serve in
the military as long as they told their colleagues that the ripped,
topless and be-jean shorted fireman that they had in their foot locker
was cousin Rico.
-Jon Stewart on Don't Ask, Don't Tell
The Republicans might be willing to allow homosexual men and women to
die for their country, once anyone earning over $500,000 a year is
allowed to park in handicapped spaces and be addressed as 'Guvner' in an
English accent.
-Daily Show correspondent John Oliver on Don't Ask
Don't Tell
Categories: Daily Show, Jon Stewart, Political Jokes of the Week, Quotes of the day
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