A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't.
Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends.
Come down off the cross, we can use the wood.
Don't you know there ain't no devil, there's just God when he's drunk.
I knew him when he was nothing and he hasn't changed a bit.
I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things.
I'm not a percussionist, I just like to hit things.
I've been riding on the crest of a slump lately.
I've lost my equilibrium, my car keys, and my pride.
If I exorcise my devils, well, my angels may leave too.
If there's one thing you can say about mankind, there's nothing kind about man.
If you get far enough away you'll be on your way back home.
Most of the people I admire, they usually smell funny and don't get out much.
The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away.
The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering. It cheapens and degrades the human experience, when it should inspire and elevate.
There are only two things you can throw out the window of a moving car, legally... Water. And feathers. Everything else you can get in trouble for.
There is no such thing as nonfiction. There is no such thing as truth. People who really know what happened aren't talking. And the people who don't have a clue, you can't shut them up.
There's nothing that you can say that will mean the same thing once it's been repeated.
We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness. We are monkeys with money and guns.
You can learn a lot about a woman by getting smashed with her.
You shouldn't play the piano with money in your pocket. Play like you need the money.
Found 21 occurence(s) in 51,814 quotation(s).