A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.
A man is usually more careful of his money than he is of his principles.
A man needs a friend not to flatter him, but to strengthen him at his weak points.
A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife.
A man who does not fool himself seldom cares much about fooling others. But the man who claims to have seen a ghost wants everybody else to believe in ghosts.
A really busy person never knows how much he weighs.
A small man always has one weapon he can use against a great big man: he can 'talk' about him.
A theory is no more like a fact than a photograph is like a person.
A thief believes everybody steals.
A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast.
Abusing the prosperous in order to curry the favor of the envious, is an old game that still works better than it should.
After a man is fifty, you can fool him by saying he is smart, but you can't fool him by saying he is handsome.
Always remember that if a man knows where he can make a dollar, he will not tell you about it; he will go after it himself.
Americans detest all lies except lies spoken in public or printed lies.
Another thing which is about as sure as death and taxes, is that no man can go on bluffing indefinitely without being called.
As a rule, you'll not have much trouble having your way, if you are right.
Automobiles are like people: the cheap ones are noisy.
Every man has a long list of things that should be done, but which he knows can't be done. Yet he continues to talk about them as long as he lives.
Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other.
Half the time men think they are talking business they are wasting time.
Having fun is a dismal business after you pass fifty.
However disagreeable a situation is to you, you cannot get rid of it by indignation.
I you want to save money, don't eat anything: this advice is impractical, but so is most good advice.
If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old.
If you want to know how old a woman is, ask her sister-in-law.
Instead of loving your enemies- treat your friends a little better.
Men are virtuous because the women are; women are virtuous from necessity.
Most people have seen worse things in private than they pretend to be shocked at in public.
Never tell a secret to a bride or a groom; wait until they have been married longer.
No man has all the wisdom in the world; everyone has some.
No man knows where his business ends and his neighbor's begins.
No man's credit is as good as his money.
One of the surprising things in this world is the respect a worthless man has for himself.
People hate the man who is a constant drain on their sympathy.
Silliness which would have broken a politician twenty years ago, now makes his fortune.
So many of the optimists in the world don't own a hundred dollars, and because of their optimism, never will.
Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.
Some men storm imaginary Alps all their lives, and die in the foothills cursing difficulties which do not exist.
The experience of the world is worth more than the experience of any one man.
The government is mainly an expensive organization to regulate evildoers and tax those who behave.
The liberty of the press is most generally approved when it takes liberties with the other fellow, and leaves us alone.
The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep.
The way out of trouble is never as simple as the way in.
The worst feeling in the world is the homesickness that comes over a man occasionally when he is at home.
There is always a type of man who says he loves his fellow men, and expects to make a living at it.
There is no such thing as a convincing argument, although every man thinks he has one.
There is only one thing people like that is good for them; a good night's sleep.
There is usually enough of everything on the table except cream.
To be an ideal guest, stay at home.
To want your own way is a very bad habit, for you will never get it.
Treat spring just as you would a friend you have not learned to trust.
We are now confronted with the necessity of remedying the remedies.
What people say behind your back is your standing in the community.
When men are not regretting that life is so short, they are doing something to kill time.
When people hear good music, it makes them homesick for something they never had, and never will have.
When you can't do anything else to a boy, you can make him wash his face.
Found 56 occurence(s) in 51,815 quotation(s).