Ah, bless you, Sister. May all your sons be bishops.
An author's first duty is to let down his country.
Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done; they've seen it done every day; but they're unable to do it themselves.
Every cripple has his own way of walking.
Every man, through fear, mugs his aspirations a dozen times a day.
I am a daylight atheist.
I am a drinker with writing problems.
I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it worse.
I only drink on two occasions- When I am thirsty and when I'm not.
I respect kindness in human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
I saw a sign that said 'Drink Canada Dry'. So I did.
I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.
It's a queer world, God knows, but the best we have to be going on with.
Mother, they would praise my balls if I hung them high enough.
One drink is too many for me and a thousand not enough.
Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis.
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you.
The sun was in mind to come out but having a look at the weather it was in lost heart and went back again.
The world is a madhouse, so it's only right it's patrolled by armed idiots.
There is no such thing as bad publicity except for your own obituary.
What is a crook but a businessman without an office?
What the hell difference does it make, left or right? There were good men lost on both sides.
Found 24 occurence(s) in 51,796 quotation(s).