KGB
Report
ONLINE ISSN:
1525-898X
PRINT ISSN:
1525-9366
August 16, 1999
A Curmudgeon's
Look at Business and Technology,
Featuring the Stuff You Really Need To Know
Published
by Kevin G. Barkes | 1512 Annette Avenue | Library, PA 15129-9735-125
Voice: 412.854.2550 |
Fax: 412.854.4707 | e-mail: kgbarkes@gmail.com | www: http://www.kgbreport.com
Copyright ã1999-2013 by Kevin G. Barkes
Written by Kevin G. Barkes
KGB Report is also available in Adobe Portable Document Format.
If you'd prefer an e-mailed .pdf to the US Mail delivered copy, send
your request to kgbarkes@gmail.com.
A somewhat abridged version of this issue is available online at
http://www.kgbreport.com/currentkgbrep.shtml
Reassuring:
According to Forbes ASAP, 5,218 laborers built Hoover Dam, only a few of
them engineers. Microsoft has 5,345 full-time workers building the Windows 2000
(W2K) operating system, which contains about 30 million lines of source code.
The magazine says there are about 450 managers; 110 translating the user
interface into foreign languages; 50 persons providing information technology
support; 115 training Microsoft field reps; 1,120 in developer relations; 100
in marketing; 900 writing the software code; 1,800 testing the code; 600
support persons who assist developers and IT administrators; and 100 writing
manuals and help files. And just like Hoover Dam, the big test will be whether W2K
holds water.
Useless Air, Don't
Fail Me Now: I'm scheduled to return to Pittsburgh
from a New York business trip this coming Friday evening, August 20, which
means I should miss the GPS Rollover by about four hours, if I'm lucky. A first
cousin to the Y2K bug, the Global Positioning Satellite system goes through an
"End of Week Rollover" event every 20 years. Because of the way in
which GPS receivers work, the clocks on some older units may go crazy at
midnight this Saturday. Since positioning is determined by comparing the timing
of signals from orbiting satellites, an accurate clock is crucial. Otherwise, one
minute you're over LaGuardia and the next second you're orbiting a small planet
near Epsilon Eridanii II. Another thing of which to be wary: this Thursday
morning at 6 am EDT, new almanacs will be uploaded to the GPS satellites, so
your GPS receiver could go nuts a full day and half ahead of schedule. The AVweb
AVflash newsletter notes that if GPS receivers aren't fully compliant with
current standards, the new almanacs could cause the devices to do some
interesting things: they may fail completely, because they can't locate the
satellites; they may take more time than usual to locate the satellites or, my
personal favorite, they may appear to be working fine but will display
inaccurate information.
By Any Other Name:
Seventy percent of stock market day traders lose everything they invest and
only ten percent make a profit, according to a report issued by the North
American Securities Administrators Association, making the activity more like
gambling than investing. So why is day trading still popular? The same reason
gambling is widespread: the possibility of making a bundle. While most gambling
is a passive activity, making scores of trades each day on a computer terminal
gives participants a feeling of some control over their destinies, even though
it's mostly illusory. Also, one in ten is still substantially better than the
40 million to one odds of hitting a state lottery jackpot or the 10 million to
one odds of hitting an instant lottery. Plus, you don't have to clean up all
that messy silver crud from scratching tickets.
Is This Really
Necessary? General Motors Corp. plans to offer
voice-activated Internet access in some of its high-end models by the end of
next year. I'd settle for access to humans at GM service departments.
But Can You Hear The
Burp in Cyberspace? Tupperware is now selling its stuff
online, in addition to shopping mall kiosks and Home Shopping Channel specials.
The company insists its prime sales method remains the Tupperware party.
Write Your State Rep:
The National Conference of Commissioners on Uniform State Laws (NCCUSL), whose
recommendations are routinely adopted by the states, has approved and is
sending the Uniform Computer Information Transactions Act (UCITA) to legislatures.
UCITA essentially grants consumers the right to give their money to software
companies. That's about it. Really. Write your state representatives and warn
them not to rubber stamp this travesty.
They're Here!
Just in from the printer, the Y2K KGB Consulting Tetradecagon Pop-Up Calendar! Check
out our new Desperate Sideline Enterprises web page at http://www.kgbreport.com/tshirts.html,
which also features our new line of Curmudgeon Tees, with new low prices!
Quotes of the Week:
"Y2K is going to
be the Lawyers' Full-Employment Act."-Jim Seymour
"Deja moo: I've
heard this bull before."-T-shirt
"How do they get
the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?"-Bumper Sticker
"One plus one
equals three for large values of one."-Unknown
"To know
recursion, you must first know recursion."-Unknown
"Programming
simply consists of using the right wrench to pound in the screw."-Unknown
"Invest in
America. Buy a Congressman."-T-shirt
"People are more
violently opposed to fur than leather because it's easier to harass rich women
than motorcycle gangs."-Unknown
The KGB Random Quotations Generator has over 3,000 entries and is
frequently updated. Visit it online at http://www.kgbreport.com/kgbquote.shtml. Many of the quotes
are also available on our Curmudgeon Tees... check out http://www.kgbreport.com/tshirts.html.
Useless Web Site of
the Week: Don't you hate it when you hear on the news how
hackers defaced some major site on the web, but the site is either down or
repaired by the time you're able to take a look at it? Just go to http://www.onething.com/archive/,
which contains copies of some of the biggest web hacks of all time: the Justice
Department, CIA, NASA, Air Force, ValueJet, US Army... some really impressive
stuff.
Y2K-A-Rama
Survive Y2K? How About
Surviving Until Y2K? At least we know what
the Y2K problem is and when it will arrive. Unfortunately, our technology
dependent society gets whacked almost daily by unexpected crises that emphasize
the infrastructure's fragility. Some recent events that blindsided us:
Not Just Kansas
Anymore: Downtown Salt Lake
City was nailed by a rare tornado which caused over $150 million in damage,
killed one and injured over 73. Many of the injured were hurt by flying debris
when they left the safety of buildings to get a clearer view of the maelstrom.
These are the same people who will try to make phone calls at the stroke of
midnight on 1/1/2000 and then panic when the telephone system "fails".
In The Dark:
Two areas of downtown Chicago lost power last Thursday, thanks to what appears
to be incompetence on the part of Commonwealth Edison. One of four transformers
in a substation failed the week before. Two power transmission cables failed
Thursday, forcing two of the three still-functioning transformers to shut down.
The one remaining transformer began to overheat, and technicians deliberately
cut power to certain customers to prevent its failure. The Chicago Board of
Trade shut down early, as did the Federal Courts and scores of skyscraper-based
businesses in the downtown area. Police and emergency services switched to
backup generators. The Chicago Hilton and Towers broke into its cache of
"glow sticks" and distributed 6,000 of the chemically activated
luminescent wands to its guests so they could maneuver through the dark hotel.
The Hilton was storing the sticks for potential use should power outages occur
on Y2Kday.
Not Y2K, Just
Stupidity: MCI WorldCom denied major disruptions in its frame
relay network for the last week and a half were due to Y2K testing, fingering
instead bugs in newly-installed Lucent Technologies Ascend switches and
software. That was of little comfort to thousands of MCI's customers, some of
whom still had no service early Monday, according to Internet Week. The Chicago
Board of Trade, which had been forced to shut down on Thursday because of an
electrical power outage, was understandably a tad cranky. It called MCI WorldCom's
performance "unacceptable" and said it was "pursuing all
available remedies". Customers were particularly incensed that MCI didn't
fully disclose the severity of the problem, delaying the implementation of
contingency plans. Lots of customers are looking to jump ship. What goes
around, comes around: MCI was one of the firms that benefited from a major
AT&T frame relay outage last year.
On Hold:
NASA has delayed the next launch of the space shuttle
Endeavor for a month as technicians look for frayed wires suspected of causing
a computer failure during the recent Columbia mission. Backup computers
prevented an engine shutdown, which would have forced the shuttle to attempt a
dangerous emergency landing. The delay with Endeavor will also push back the
launch of Discovery, which was scheduled to take off on October 14 for an
emergency repair mission to fix a failing pointing system on the Hubble Space
Telescope.
E-Crashes:
Both eBay and E*TRADE experienced major outages in the past week and a half,
angering customers and causing major drops in the firms' stock prices. The eBay
failure was particularly embarrassing, since it occurred after the company
claimed to have installed a hot backup system following a 22-hour failure in
June. The online auctioneer's book value dropped by $1 billion after the latest
gaffe. Still, eBay and E*TRADE aren't alone. An industry study revealed even
firms with emergency response plans averaged over an hour and a half
unscheduled down time every month.
Already Bitten:
ComputerWorld reports that 75% of 161 surveyed US companies and
government agencies have already experienced Y2K-related system failures.
Fortunately, only two percent of those hit suffered business disruptions. The
vast majority were able to quickly resolve the problems or come up with
workarounds. The trade journal noted the low failure rate could be considered
good news and indicates Y2Kday may not be as terrible as some predict. Still,
the survey results reported less than half of the organizations polled expect
to have all their mission-critical systems prepared, and 16% don't expect at
least half of their most important systems to be ready.
In The Dark II:
A power outage of sorts that affected residents of London last week was, in
fact, Y2K related. Almost half a million London Electricity customers pay for
their power by having funds credited to a PowerKey "smart card". The
card, similar to a credit card, is inserted into the customer's electric meter
to pay for service. Software glitches related to Y2K caused 2,000 of the
utility's 400,000 meters to reject payment. While no US utilities use this
system, experts say the failure should serve as a warning to American firms not
to become complacent. One of the reasons London Electricity switched to the
PowerKey system was because of its alleged Y2K compliance.
Only 3 Out Of 50?
ZDNet quotes a General Accounting Office study that claims only Iowa, Nebraska
and North Dakota are fully prepared for Y2K. All the states have some plan in
order, but 14 won't complete testing until October. Maybe the Chicago Board of
Trade should open an office in Fargo. You betcha.
Backsliding:
ComputerWorld quotes a report by Pittsburgh-based Infoliant Corp. that
claims vendors for 58% of the 125 software products evaluated by the firm made
"negative" changes to their Y2K compliance status. That could mean
discontinuation of Y2K support or the discovery of new Y2K problems.
Higher Learning?
Only 22 of the country's 5,800 colleges and universities have successfully
completed Y2K testing of their student aid data exchange programs with the
Department of Education. Keep a close eye on those tuition bills next year...
Compliant Lubrication:
Reader Scott Wheeler reports the following appeared in the Sunday London
Times last week: "The makers of KY Jelly have just made their product
millennium proof. They have renamed it Y2KY Jelly, and it now allows you to
insert four digits into your date, whereas before you could only fit two."
Funny; there's nothing on the Johnson & Johnson web site...
Shameless Self-Promotion:
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