Copyright 1987-2016 by Kevin G. Barkes

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DCL DIALOGUE

Originally published April 1987

By Kevin G. Barkes


April Revelations

I was deeply involved in designing a complex database
application (written completely in DCL, of course) when the
phone rang.

Lost in thought, I didn't identify myself immediately when I
picked up the receiver. After a few seconds of silence, a
nervous, muffled voice on the other end asked, "Are you the
guy that writes the DEC stuff?"

"Yes," I replied, but before I could say my name and
magazine affiliation, the caller rushed on. "Turn on your
recorder," the voice ordered. "Have I got something for
you!"

Never one to argue with a loyal reader, I activated the
recorder in my answering machine. For the next half-hour, I
sat enthralled as the unidentified caller (I'll call him
"Deep Cache") revealed major DCL-related product
announcements scheduled to be released by the friendly folk
in Maynard on April 1.

The first important revelation is the development of a
DEC-supported DCL compiler. Deep Cache says the new product,
called "DCL On-Line Performance Enchancer", or "DOPE" for
short, reads in standard DCL command procedures and
translates them to a variant of VAX-11 BASIC. The resultant
source code can then be compiled and linked using the new
dialect ("BASIC Adaptive Recombinant Formatter", or BARF).

Deep Cache said the most difficult part of the project was
modifying VAX-11 BASIC into the new BARF language. "DEC
software engineers greatly underestimated the amount of time
it would take to remove floating point capability," he
reported. "Stripping out the ELSE and WHILE statements was a
real bear, too."

In conjunction with the DOPE and BARF releases, DEC has also
added several new lexical functions to the DCL repertoire,
Deep Cache revealed. Some of the newer capabilities, which
should be incoporated into VMS V. 4.601, include:

o F$ENVIRONMENT("PERFORMANCE") -- This function performs an
instant analysis of system performance, using advanced
artifical intelligence techniques. Deep Cache says that
unlike other lexicals, which use VAX/VMS System Services,
this function actually invokes an expert system developed
internally by DEC. "The problem is the expert system wasn't
written by the VMS team," according to DC. "It was written
by Sales. The function always returns the string, 'BUY AN
8800'".

o F$GETDVI("device","LITIGATION") -- "DEC's decided to
become even more aggressive in pursuing third-party vendors
who infringe the VAXBI bus," Deep Cache said. This lexical,
which is imbedded in the system startup command file, polls
each device connected to the BI bus to determine whether or
not any "foreign" invaders are on the system. If non-DEC
hardware is discovered, the system automatically calls out
via the RDC line to a team of lawyers on 24-hour standby at
DEC's support site in Colorado Springs. If the customer
hasn't subscribed to the Remote Diagnostics facility, the
system will not boot and will print out the message "No
habla bogus BI" on the console device.

o F$GETSYI("LICENSE_POLICY") -- The recent controversy over
the transfer of VMS licenses has prompted DEC to reassure
some user sites on an almost daily basis. To reduce costs
associated with the massive influx of calls and letters, DEC
added this function to provide on-line information on the
current state of VMS licensing policy. Calls to the function
returns various string values, including "YES", "NO",
"HMMM... THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION", and "KEN WILL GET BACK TO
YOU ON THAT".

o F$COOKIE() -- The widespread popularity of "fortune
cookie" software (programs which display cute messages to
users at login) has prompted DEC to provide this built-in
message generation capability. A sample of the text returned
by calls to this function include "Digital Has It Now (but
it's on back-order)", "We Don't Comment on Unannounced
Products", "It's Not A Bug, It's A Feature", and "Will Be
Fixed In A Forthcoming Release of VMS". In conjunction with
the introduction of F$COOKIE(), DEC has announced "Sayings
of Chairman Ken", a new release from Digital Press ($39.95,
softcover).

Several major enhancements to VMS security will also be
upcoming, according to Deep Cache, as a result of DEC's
continued success in selling to various Department of
Defense agencies. In direct response to Pentagon specs, look
for an upcoming version of VMS to contain an /INVISIBLE
qualifier to the PRINT command which should help users
protect unauthorized personnel from reading sensitive
print-outs. Also watch for enhancements to the DECtalk
interface, which will include "whisper" and "mumble"
functions.

To further enhance security, all users have NL: as their
default device. "It creates some file maintenance problems,"
Deep Cache admits, "but the data is absolutely secure,
incremental backups are a snap, and the I/O is too fast to
be believed."

No firm release date has been set for this security package.
"The resulting systems are so secure, D.O.D can't figure out
how to log in," D.C. reports. "DEC's scouring hacker BBSes
for free-lance consulting help to resolve the problem."

Two other actions planned by DEC, while not directly related
to system operation, should also make life easier for
managers and users.

o Announcing a change to a long-rumored policy, DEC will
alter the manner in which it reimburses its technical
writers for creating VMS documentation. While the new method
was not revealed, Deep Cache confirms DEC has abandoned its
old payment procedure, which was based on the number of
pounds of doc produced.

o Acknowledging user unhappiness with constant modification
to various operating systems, high-level languages and
layered software products, DEC will, at a slight premium,
offer to support those sites wanting to continue operations
with "old" software. Look for a selection box on future
maintenance agreements where users can choose between "New
Code" or "Classic Code".

I'd like to thank Deep Cache for these interesting nuggets.
I offered to pay him for the information, but he refused
cash. Instead, he insisted I send him, of all idiotic
things, a coffee mug.

Okay, DC, your cup's on its way. As for a ride in my
Porsche, well, would you settle for a monthly pass on
Pittsburgh's trolley line?


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Kevin G. Barkes is an independent consultant. He publishes
the KGB Report newsletter, operates the www.kgbreport.com website,
lurks on comp.os.vms, and can be reached at kgbarkes@gmail.com.