All humor is a matter of opinion.
--John Cleese
Aping Urbanity,
Oozing with Vanity
Plump as a Manatee,
Faking Humanity
Journalistic Calamity,
Intellectual Inanity
Fox News Insanity,
You're a profanity
Hannity.
(Ode to Sean Hannity).
--John Cleese
Comedy always works best when it is mean-spirited.
--John Cleese
Creativity is not a talent. It is a way of operating.
--John Cleese
Don't touch me. I don't know where you've been.
--John Cleese
He who laughs most, learns best.
--John Cleese
I don't think anyone should be educated sexually. There's far too many people on the planet. If we could hush it up for a few years, that would help.
--John Cleese
I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.
--John Cleese
I think marriage should be like dog licences. I think you should have to renew marriage licences every five years...
--John Cleese
I think that money spoils most things, once it becomes the primary motivating force.
--John Cleese
I think that the real religion is about the understanding that if we can only still our egos for a few seconds, we might have a chance of experiencing something that is divine in nature.
--John Cleese
I think the problem with people like this (Sarah Palin) is that they are so stupid, that they have no idea how stupid they are.
--John Cleese
I used to desire many, many things, but now I have just one desire, and that's to get rid of all my other desires.
--John Cleese
I'm struck by how laughter connects you with people. It's almost impossible to maintain any kind of distance or any sense of social hierarchy when you're just howling with laughter. Laughter is a force for democracy.
--John Cleese
If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?
--John Cleese
If I like chocolate it won't surprise you that I have a few chocolates in my fridge, but if you find out I've got 16 warehouses full of chocolate, you'd think I was insane. All these rich guys are insane, obsessive compulsive twits obsessed with money- money is all they think about- they're all nuts.
--John Cleese
If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play.
--John Cleese
It's the people who try desperately to put a measured surface over secret anger seething away underneath who give you the sense of most violence.
--John Cleese
Nothing will stop you being creative more effectively as the fear of making a mistake.
--John Cleese
Technology frightens me to death. It's designed by engineers to impress other engineers, and they always come with instruction booklets that are written by engineers for other engineers- which is why almost no technology ever works.
--John Cleese
The most creative people have this childlike facility to play.
--John Cleese
The really good idea is always traceable back quite a long way, often to a not very good idea which sparked off another idea that was only slightly better, which somebody else misunderstood in such a way that they then said something which was really rather interesting.
--John Cleese
There's something about watching an animal that puts you in contact with where we came from and what we're still a part of.
--John Cleese
Too many people confuse being serious with being solemn.
--John Cleese
We don't know where we get our ideas from. What we do know is that we do not get them from our laptops.
--John Cleese
When you get to my age... you realize that the world is a madhouse and that most people are operating in fantasy anyway. So once you realize that, it doesn't bother you much.
--John Cleese
Why anyone who has not committed a punishable offense would listen to country and western music is beyond me.
--John Cleese
Why write about the past? Well, there's more of it.
--John Cleese
You don't have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life's about change.
--John Cleese
You see, you could never do a sketch like that these days. The audience is too uninformed. I blame the Americans. Nation of obese, violent, pig-ignorant, bible-thumping morons contaminating world culture. That's why I spend most of my time here in France. Beautiful, isn't it? Just look at those olive trees.
(Interviewer: This is Santa Barbara.)
--John Cleese
Found 30 occurence(s) in 52,059 quotation(s).