Am in the rear of the theater watching your performance. Wish you were here.
--George S. Kaufman
At dramatic rehearsals, the only author that's better than an absent one is a dead one.
--George S. Kaufman
By the time a writer discovers he has no talent for literature, he is too successful to give it up.
--George S. Kaufman
Epitaph for a dead waiter- God finally caught his eye.
--George S. Kaufman
Everything I've ever said will be credited to Dorothy Parker.
--George S. Kaufman
I did not like it, but perhaps this judgment is unfair. I saw it under adverse conditions- the curtain was up.
--George S. Kaufman
I like terra firma; the more firma, the less terra.
--George S. Kaufman
I understand your new play is full of single entendres.
--George S. Kaufman
Madam, don't you have any unexpressed thoughts?
--George S. Kaufman
Odets, where is thy sting?
--George S. Kaufman
Over my dead body. (When asked to suggest his own epitaph.)
--George S. Kaufman
Posterity is just around the corner.
--George S. Kaufman
Satire is what closes on Saturday night.
--George S. Kaufman
The kind of doctor I want is one who when he's not examining me is home studying medicine.
--George S. Kaufman
The trouble with Shakespeare is that you never get to sit down unless you're a king.
--George S. Kaufman
There was laughter at the back of the theater, leading to the belief that someone was telling jokes back there.
--George S. Kaufman
They're not understudies, they're overstudies.
--George S. Kaufman
Things are so bad on Broadway today an actor is lucky to be miscast.
--George S. Kaufman
We learned that when an audience does not laugh at a line at which they're supposed to laugh, then the thing to do was to take out that line and get a funnier line. So help me, we didn't know that before. I always thought it was the audience's fault, or when the show got to New York they'd laugh.
--George S. Kaufman
When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
--George S. Kaufman
When things go a little bad nowadays, you go out, get yourself an-ism and you're in business.
--George S. Kaufman
You're a birdbrain, and I mean that as an insult to birds.
--George S. Kaufman
Your eyes shine like the pants of a blue serge suit.
--George S. Kaufman
Found 23 occurence(s) in 52,267 quotation(s).