A new child in the house is a huge tourist attraction. It's like Disneyland, except there the lines are longer and no one brings casseroles.
As you get older you realize your parents don't look so dumb- and that you're not as smart as you thought you were.
Get a good dog. We have not picked up food in the kitchen in 15 years.
Happiness is the quiet lull between problems.
If a tree falls on your head in a forest and no one hears it, it still hurts.
In the history of life, no good news has followed that sentence ('We have to talk.').
Marriage is just an elaborate game that allows two selfish people to periodically feel that they're not.
The most challenging part of being a dad is trying to postpone the moment when they realize you don't know anything.
The obvious is obvious for a reason.
There are two types of people: those who get it and those who don't. If they get it, there's nothing to explain, and if they don't, there's no point in trying to explain. They don't get it. Move on.
Found 10 occurence(s) in 52,059 quotation(s).
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