A man's head is his castle.
--Joseph Heller
But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.
--Joseph Heller
Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call it injustice, treachery or simple bad luck.
--Joseph Heller
Everybody is as unstable as water.
--Joseph Heller
Fools hate knowledge.
--Joseph Heller
For war there is always enough. It's peace that's expensive.
--Joseph Heller
Forever goes quick.
--Joseph Heller
Frankly, I think the whole society is nuts- and the question is: What does a sane man do in an insane society?
--Joseph Heller
Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry.
--Joseph Heller
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt...
--Joseph Heller
He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.
--Joseph Heller
How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation?
--Joseph Heller
I wouldn't want to live without strong misgivings.
--Joseph Heller
If character is destiny, the good are damned.
--Joseph Heller
If the chance ever comes to you to fall in love, grab it, every time. You might always live to regret it, but you won't find anything to beat it, and you won't know if it will come to you once more.
--Joseph Heller
Insanity is contagious.
--Joseph Heller
It doesn't make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who's dead.
--Joseph Heller
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you.
--Joseph Heller
Mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
--Joseph Heller
Nothing fails like success.
--Joseph Heller
Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
--Joseph Heller
Rise above principal and do what's right.
--Joseph Heller
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them.
--Joseph Heller
Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.
--Joseph Heller
The country was in peril; he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
--Joseph Heller
The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
--Joseph Heller
The last thing any sensible human being should want is immortality. As it is, life lasts too long for most of us.
--Joseph Heller
The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
--Joseph Heller
The truth is whatever people will believe is the truth. Don't you know history?
--Joseph Heller
The wise man dies no better or more wisely than the fool. In what way, then, is the wise man wise?
--Joseph Heller
The years are too short, the days are too long.
--Joseph Heller
There is wisdom in madness and strong probability of truth in all accusations, for people are complete and everybody is capable of everything.
--Joseph Heller
Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.
--Joseph Heller
When I look up, I see people cashing in. I don't see heaven or saints or angels. I see people cashing in on every decent impulse and every human tragedy.
--Joseph Heller
Whether God is dead or not hardly matters, for we would use him no differently anyway.
--Joseph Heller
Women don't suffer from penis envy. Men do.
--Joseph Heller
You know, that might be the answer- to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That's a trick that never seems to fail.
--Joseph Heller
Found 37 occurence(s) in 52,450 quotation(s).