Have you noticed TV families never watch television?
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up- they have no holidays.
I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.
If I'm not in bed by eleven, I go home.
If there's ever a price on your head, take it.
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City?
My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.
Found 13 occurence(s) in 52,059 quotation(s).
Categories: Quotes of the day
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