Conceived above a saloon, delivered into this world by a masked man identified by his heavily sedated mother as Captain Video, raised by a kindly West Virginian woman, a mild-mannered former reporter with modest delusions of grandeur and no tolerance of idiots and the intellectually dishonest.


network solutions made me a child pornographer!
The sordid details...


Anniversary


Requiem for a fictional Scotsman


Oh my God! They killed Library!! Those bastards!!!


Elegy to a Mostly Maine Coon


It's a Hap-Hap-Happy Day


A Pittsburgher in the Really Big City


Da Burg Annat


I Have Issues


Yeah, yeah, I'm inspired


At least the rivers freeze in Pittsburgh


He knows if yinz is a jagoff


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dcl dialogue online!

I Love DCL


no. we're not that kgb.

Cool Spinny Thingy!


Ciao.
KGB, CIA linked


The Carbolic Smoke Ball
Superb satire, and based in Pittsburgh!


Americans United for Separation of Church and State

"No religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."
Article VI, U.S. Constitution


Geek of the Week, 7/16/2000

Geek of the Week


Cruel Site of the Day, 7/15/2000

Cruel Site of the Day (7/15/2000)


miscellany

Hard to describe.


"a breezy writing style and a cool mix of tidbits"

USA Today Hotsite


Our riveting and morally compelling...

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(July 2000 and earlier)


Friday, February 16, 2007

Quod erat demonstrandum? Riiiight....

WASHINGTON (AP) - Television networks are free to sprinkle their programs with shootings, slashings, torture and other gore because the government has no regulatory authority over violent programming. But a draft report being circulated at the Federal Communications Commission says Congress can change that, without violating the First Amendment.

The long-overdue report suggests Congress could craft a law that would let the agency regulate violent programming much like it regulates sexual content and profanity - by barring it from being aired during hours when children may be watching, for example.

"In general, what the commission's report says is that there is strong evidence that shows violent media can have an impact on children's behavior and there are some things that can be done about it," FCC Chairman Kevin Martin said Thursday.

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?-Dick Cavett

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Quotes of the day, birthday edition

Sonny Bono (February 16, 1935-January 5, 1998)

I've never been qualified for anything I'm good at.

Politics is show business for ugly people.

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Thursday, February 15, 2007

Just for the heck of it....

Go to http://delorean.com.

Enter the word "flux" (without the quotes) in the parts search box at the top of the page.

It also works with "fusion" and "hover".

(Thanks to Leslie for the oblique reference.)

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I don't believe in reincarnation...

... but in a previous life, I did. And speaking of previous lives, it's obvious some things never change:

(Thanks to Dave Anderson)

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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Quotes of the day, birthday edition

Leone Battista Alberti (2/14/1404-1472):

Nothing overshadows truth so completely as authority.

Jack Benny (2/14/1894-12/26/1974):

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

Paul Tsongas (2/14/41-1/18/97):

Let's try winning and see what it feels like. If we don't like it, we can go back to our traditions.

That's a good question. Let me try to evade you.

I came from a disadvantaged home. They were Republicans.

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Breaking News

It's snowing. In Pittsburgh. In February. Well, stop the presses.


My employer is located in Chicago, which is getting it worse than we are. I was thinking about how lucky I am to be able to work from my home in South Park, to pad around the kitchen feeding the animals and sipping coffee, enjoying the quiet rustic view...


...Until I remembered my walk and driveway had been plowed last night, and there's about an inch of solid ice underneath all of that new and continuing precipitation.


I'm not worried, though, since I have enough provisions to last me until, oh, Friday.
And as a backup, I've been fattening up the cat.

Please don't send me nasty e-mails. I love cats. Just not as much as chicken.

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That about sums it up here, too...

When I was commuting to Chicago, I read the Sun-Times on the train every morning. The paper always seemed to capture the mood of the folk in the Windy City.

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Quote of the day

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thy crevices art more humid and more sticky!
-The Erudite Laborer's Cries of Romance

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Tuesday, February 13, 2007

The friendly skies...

Overheard in IFR Magazine's "On the Air"

This comes from a search and rescue pilot at Canadian Forces Base in Bagotville, Quebec. It happened late one night during bad weather, as heard over the tower radio:

Helicopter pilot: Roger, I'm holding at 3,000 feet over the beacon.

Second voice: (panicking) No, you can't be doing that...I'm holding at 3,000 feet over that beacon!

Helicopter pilot: (Short pause) You idiot, you're my copilot.

-via AvWeb

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Quote of the day

I don't want my 17-year-old son to have to pick tomatoes or make beds in Las Vegas.
-Karl Rove, explaining the Bush immigration policy.

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Sound advice of the day

Psychic friends, call your psychic pals. If you know anybody who's called a television psychic and continues to do it for a $1.99 a minute, you take a stick, and you hit 'em! And then you go "No!"
-Lewis Black

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Monday, February 12, 2007

Quote of the day

Women wonder why men aren't romantic; it's like wondering why your wonderfully playful dog who you kicked in the head last night when it tried to greet you at the door is looking rather sullen.
Rob Earhart

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Copyright © 1987-2017 by Kevin G. Barkes
All rights reserved.
Violators will be prosecuted.
So there.  
The kgb@kgb.com e-mail address is now something other than kgb@kgb.com saga.
kgbreport.com used to be kgb.com until December, 2007 when the domain name broker Trout Zimmer made an offer I couldn't refuse. Giving up kgb.com and adopting kgbreport.com created a significant problem, however. I had acquired the kgb.com domain name in 1993, and had since that time used kgb@kgb.com as my sole e-mail address. How to let people know that kgb@kgb.com was no longer kgb@kgb.com but rather kgbarkes@gmail.com which is longer than kgb@kgb.com and more letters to type than kgb@kgb.com and somehow less aesthetically pleasing than kgb@kgb.com but actually just as functional as kgb@kgb.com? I sent e-mails from the kgb@kgb.com address to just about everybody I knew who had used kgb@kgb.com in the past decade and a half but noticed that some people just didn't seem to get the word about the kgb@kgb.com change. So it occurred to me that if I were generate some literate, valid text in which kgb@kgb.com was repeated numerous times and posted it on a bunch of different pages- say, a blog indexed by Google- that someone looking for kgb@kgb.com would notice this paragraph repeated in hundreds of locations, would read it, and figure out that kgb@kgb.com no longer is the kgb@kgb.com they thought it was. That's the theory, anyway. kgb@kgb.com. Ok, I'm done. Move along. Nothing to see here...

commentwear


Crystal Methodist


Laugh while you can, monkey-boy


I am a professional. Do not try this at home.


I canna change the laws of physics


As a matter of fact, I *am* the boss of you.
(as a matter of fact, i AM the boss of you.)


Truly great madness cannot be achieved without signficant intelligence


I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.


Left wing liberal nut job


Flies spread disease. Keep yours zipped.


Eff the ineffable, scrute the inscrutable.


If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.


If evolution is just a theory, why am I surrounded by monkeys?


Nutrition makes me puke


Feral Geek


eat wisely


Dyslexics have more fnu!


It's here!

Eff and Scrute

440 pages, over 11,000 quotations!

Eff the Ineffable, Scrute the Inscrutable


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